Skip this one. 12 y/o humour.

I started with the Not So Meet Cute series by Meghan Quinn and loved books 1 and 3 - the third was actually one of my favorite reads of the year so far. Book 2 was a little silly and overwrought and left me feeling like I'd just had a conversation with someone who was trying way too hard to be funny...*foreshadowing*.

That brings me to this book... It had great reviews on good reads and audible. Plus I loved J.F. Harding in A Long Time Coming (book 3^^) so I thought this would be perfect for me. I was wrong. I listened at 1.5 speed just to get it over with, skipping huge sections of the book when I was only 1/3 of the way in. I am leaving this review because clearly this book has worked for many people but I'd like to make sure that others with similar taste do not waste a credit.

1. The narration was sub par quality for what these narrators usually put out. Both of them individually were fine but there was annoying mismatches between the accents/portrayed personalities. Harding made Paul sound like an actual dipshit (which, I mean, he was. But it was still off-putting) and portrayed Bernie as a southern old man that did not at all correspond to Ash's representation. Took me out of the book each time they switched narrators.

2. The main problem was the writing. It felt like a 12 y/o boy tried his hand at writing a romance novel and no one edited it. The humour made me CRINGE.
Examples: the MMC and FMC referred to her anatomy as 'girly parts' and 'puss-puss'; bathroom/juvenile humour made up 80% of the book from the FMC's brother spilling his pee all over her (ew??), to a whole chapter being devoted to the FMC having diarrhea and the MMC having to clean. it. up., to the brother's pants catching on fire and worrying that his 'asshole had melted closed'. They found it funny to 1. moon passing cars every time your assigned song came on, 2. accidentally witness your brother humping his bed to masturbate, 3. asking whether you'd want to actually have sex with your sibling or have everyone believe that you did, and 4. prank wars. Last item might be particular to me because I've never found pranks to be all that funny, especially since they tend to cross the line. Disclaimer out of the way, in this story the FMC thought it would be hysterical to take her brother's and the MMC's special brews and use them to cleanse her hair before they could drink them, the brother spit in her makeup pallet and used her mascara wand on his balls...? Is this funny? You decide.

3. Issues with writing cont'd. If you told me that the author had never interacted with a single person above the age of 12, I might believe you based on the way she portrayed characters. The main characters, minus Bernie, were supposed to be 22-26 y/o... If any person that age acted the way these characters did, I would recommend they seek therapy + medical consultation because their frontal lobes were clearly underdeveloped. They would push each other (he literally shoves her at his wedding into a buffet table....???), he tries to lift her skirt and smell her butt because *insert some dumbass humour that I skipped*, she throws firecrackers at his feet and watches as his pants catch on fire..... People don't act this way above the age of 12.

4. If you're still not convinced NOT to read this book: The first chapter opens with a yoga class between the FMC and her best friend. There is an old lady in the class who is having a hard time and keeps farting. As someone who's taken early morning hot yoga, this is definitely an unfortunate thing that happens. The author thought it would be funny to have the FMC's best friend throw a hissy fit and call out the poor old lady for ruining her yoga class experience and goes so far overboard I'm honestly disappointed in myself that I didn't DNF right there. I'm paraphrasing here but she conveys to the old lady that she can't control her farts because she has a loose asshole from all the anal orgies she must have had when she was younger, refers to her vagina as roast beef flaps, and calls her asshole a puckered prune. And we are supposed to like this character/think she's funny/think it reflects well on the FMC that this is her best friend. Give me a break.

5. And finally, a personal ick. The portrayal of masculine and feminine was upsetting. Look I get this book was written/published in 2017. And I am definitely someone who wants the MMC to be all big, burly, throw you around, masculine, alpha, overprotective, touch her and you die vibes. But in this book the FMC actively berates her brother for being more feminine... he likes to bake and sometimes *gasp* he cries. She trashes him the entire time for these traits.

The book was painful to read. I would absolutely not recommend Quinn's older stuff to anyone.

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