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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
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NPCs
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
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Probly the best narrator ever
- By Amazon Customer on 2017-10-01
Written by: Drew Hayes
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This Quest Is Broken!
- This Trilogy Is Broken, Book 1
- Written by: J. P. Valentine
- Narrated by: Andrew Tell
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection. Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread.
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Meh, meh and uhg.
- By kalem on 2022-02-09
Written by: J. P. Valentine
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Forging Hephaestus
- Villains' Code Series, Book 1
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
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Un-frickin-believable
- By Cody Pederson on 2018-12-30
Written by: Drew Hayes
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Super Powereds: Year One (1 of 3) (Dramatized Adaptation)
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Jonathan Lee Taylor, Darius Johnson, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Original Recording
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Knowledge is power. That would be the motto of Lander University, had it not been snatched up and used to death by others long before the school was founded. For while Lander offers a full range of courses to nearly all students, it also offers a small number of specialty classes to a very select few. Lander is home to the Hero Certification Program, a curriculum designed to develop students with superhuman capabilities, commonly known as Supers, into official Heroes.
Written by: Drew Hayes
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14
- Written by: Peter Clines
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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There are some odd things about Nate’s new apartment. Of course, he has other things on his mind. He hates his job. He has no money in the bank. No girlfriend. No plans for the future. So while his new home isn’t perfect, it’s livable. The rent is low, the property managers are friendly, and the odd little mysteries don’t nag at him too much. At least, not until he meets Mandy, his neighbor across the hall, and notices something unusual about her apartment. And Xela’s apartment. And Tim’s. And Veek’s.
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I enjoyed this audio book very much.
- By John on 2019-02-28
Written by: Peter Clines
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Second Hand Curses
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor, Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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When your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse - when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children - when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog - who can you turn to in your hour of need? The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions - the swashbuckling trio who travel a world of legend, seeking adventure and righting wrongs - as long as there's enough gold to be earned.
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Quite possibly perfect
- By Anonymous User on 2019-12-14
Written by: Drew Hayes
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NPCs
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
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Probly the best narrator ever
- By Amazon Customer on 2017-10-01
Written by: Drew Hayes
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This Quest Is Broken!
- This Trilogy Is Broken, Book 1
- Written by: J. P. Valentine
- Narrated by: Andrew Tell
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
The Questing Stones have come to Nowherested, and Evelia Greene is finally ready to receive her life's quest. Perhaps she'll be a great warrior, or a wealthy merchant, or a brilliant mage. Perhaps her quest is simply to live a quiet life, constantly honing a craft to the heights of perfection. Or perhaps the Questing Stones will grant her the legendary mission of popping over to the next village to pick up a loaf of bread.
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Meh, meh and uhg.
- By kalem on 2022-02-09
Written by: J. P. Valentine
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Forging Hephaestus
- Villains' Code Series, Book 1
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Amy Landon
- Length: 26 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Gifted with meta-human powers, Tori Rivas kept away from the limelight, preferring to work as a thief in the shadows. But when she's captured trying to rob a vault that belongs to a secret guild of villains, she's offered a hard choice: prove she has what it takes to join them or be eliminated. Apprenticed to one of the world's most powerful (and supposedly dead) villains, she is thrust into a strange world where the lines that divide superheroes and criminals are more complex than they seem.
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Un-frickin-believable
- By Cody Pederson on 2018-12-30
Written by: Drew Hayes
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Super Powereds: Year One (1 of 3) (Dramatized Adaptation)
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Jonathan Lee Taylor, Darius Johnson, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Knowledge is power. That would be the motto of Lander University, had it not been snatched up and used to death by others long before the school was founded. For while Lander offers a full range of courses to nearly all students, it also offers a small number of specialty classes to a very select few. Lander is home to the Hero Certification Program, a curriculum designed to develop students with superhuman capabilities, commonly known as Supers, into official Heroes.
Written by: Drew Hayes
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14
- Written by: Peter Clines
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
There are some odd things about Nate’s new apartment. Of course, he has other things on his mind. He hates his job. He has no money in the bank. No girlfriend. No plans for the future. So while his new home isn’t perfect, it’s livable. The rent is low, the property managers are friendly, and the odd little mysteries don’t nag at him too much. At least, not until he meets Mandy, his neighbor across the hall, and notices something unusual about her apartment. And Xela’s apartment. And Tim’s. And Veek’s.
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I enjoyed this audio book very much.
- By John on 2019-02-28
Written by: Peter Clines
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Second Hand Curses
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Marc Vietor, Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When your fairy godmother threatens to enslave you with a curse - when a malevolent piper solves your rat problem but steals your children - when you seek revenge on the prince who turned you into a frog - who can you turn to in your hour of need? The band of scoundrels known far and wide as the Bastard Champions - the swashbuckling trio who travel a world of legend, seeking adventure and righting wrongs - as long as there's enough gold to be earned.
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Quite possibly perfect
- By Anonymous User on 2019-12-14
Written by: Drew Hayes
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The Chronicles of Narnia Complete Audio Collection
- Written by: C. S. Lewis
- Narrated by: Kenneth Branagh, Alex Jennings, Michael York, and others
- Length: 33 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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For over 60 years, readers of all ages have been enchanted by the magical realms, the epic battles between good and evil, and the unforgettable creatures of Narnia. This box set includes all seven titles in The Chronicles of Narnia - The Magician's Nephew; The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Horse and His Boy; Prince Caspian; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The Silver Chair; and The Last Battle.
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Great Story
- By SarabeeMe on 2020-02-05
Written by: C. S. Lewis
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The Case of the Damaged Detective
- 5-Minute Sherlock, Book 1
- Written by: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello, Carol Monda
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Original Recording
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A dance club full of bodies. Cause of death - a mystery. The lone survivor - a man, raving like a lunatic, wearing only a deerstalker hat. Now, the man who calls himself Sherman Holmes is being studied like a lab rat by a top-secret government agency. How is it he can be barely clinging to reality one minute - yet be a seeming genius the next? Within his brain might just be the greatest scientific breakthrough of the millennium, if anyone can figure out how to access it. Enter the agent code named Watson.
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Another series by Drew Hayes to get addicted to
- By Anamika Baruah on 2019-06-14
Written by: Drew Hayes
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The Witch King
- The Witch King Duology, Book 1
- Written by: H.E. Edgmon
- Narrated by: Dani Martineck
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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In Asalin, fae rule and witches like Wyatt Croft…don't. Wyatt's betrothal to his best friend, fae prince Emyr North, was supposed to change that. But when Wyatt lost control of his magic one devastating night, he fled to the human world. Now a distant Emyr has hunted him down. Despite transgender Wyatt's newfound identity and troubling past, Emyr has no intention of dissolving their engagement. In fact, he claims they must marry now or risk losing the throne. Jaded, Wyatt strikes a deal with the enemy. But as he gets to know Emyr, Wyatt realizes the boy he once loved may still exist.
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Highly recommended!
- By Lindsay B. on 2021-07-30
Written by: H.E. Edgmon
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The War Widow
- A Billie Walker Mystery, Book 1
- Written by: Tara Moss
- Narrated by: Corinne Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Sydney, Australia, 1946. Though war correspondent Billie Walker is happy to finally be home, the heady post-war days are tarnished by the death of her father and the disappearance in Europe of her husband, Jack. To make matters worse, now that the war is over, the newspapers are sidelining her reporting talents to prioritize jobs for returning soldiers. But Billie is a survivor and she's determined to take control of her own future. She reopens her late father’s business, a private investigation agency, and slowly, the women of Sydney come knocking.
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Wow! Great listen!
- By Andrea on 2021-11-17
Written by: Tara Moss
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Differently Morphous
- Written by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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A magical serial killer is on the loose, and gelatinous, otherworldly creatures are infesting the English countryside. Which is making life for the Ministry of Occultism difficult, because magic is supposed to be their best kept secret. After centuries in the shadows, the Ministry is forced to unmask, exposing the country's magical history - and magical citizens - to a brave new world of social media, government scrutiny, and public relations.
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A funny, well natured jab at PC culture.
- By Ryan Cooper on 2018-05-02
Written by: Yahtzee Croshaw
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Dead Men Can't Complain and Other Stories
- Written by: Peter Clines
- Narrated by: Ralph Lister, Ray Porter
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Including three never-before-published stories, Dead Men Don't Complain is the first-ever collection of short fiction by Peter Clines, author of 14, The Fold, and other Audible smash hits. Combining equal parts geekery and humor with the occasional dash of horror, Dead Men Don't Complain is ideal for Clines fans eagerly awaiting his next novel - or for brand-new listeners discovering this Audible favorite for the first time.
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Not my favorite from Peter Clines
- By Martin Gauthier on 2019-06-30
Written by: Peter Clines
Publisher's Summary
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.
Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.
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What listeners say about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Genevieve Paquette
- 2021-02-05
pretty good
This was fun. The characters are all charming and likable, and the stories are quick and entertaining. The format wasn't my favorite, as there was a lot of repititious information/info dumping, but it wasn't that bad.
I feel like Drew Hayes is a former fat person, because that seems to be a recurring theme in his books. I find it a bit grating, but it definitely could be worse.
Overall, a cute, entertaining collection of stories with a fantastic gimmick.
1 person found this helpful
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- Andrea
- 2021-01-21
Lovely!
This was recommended to my by my cousin who is not much of a reader so I knew it would be something worth reading. I found it absolutely adorable and entertaining! A nice light listen with just enough drama and action to be very engaging. I am looking forward to picking up the next one!
1 person found this helpful
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- June
- 2019-02-13
Another great series from Hayes
I loved this so much I finished the whole book within 24 hours. It's a must read if you liked Hayes' other books. The characters are very relatable and the plot is refreshing. The only thing I'm not a fan of is the power difference between Fred, our vampire accountant and crystal, his love interest. Crystal is stronger than Fred in what seems like every facet, physically, mentally, more experience, more knowledge. I prefer relationships where both parties are somewhat equal. A big power difference between couples make me worry. This doesn't distract from the story though. The focus is Fred's life as a vampire and how he grows from his experiences. I'd definitely recommend this book.
1 person found this helpful
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- CuriosityOfPandora
- 2021-11-13
The narrator doesn’t capture the humorous tone of the book
I would have enjoyed this book more if the narrator treated humour as humorous, jokes as jokes, and wacky predicaments as actually wacky. Instead it was pretty dry, reading dialogue and the text as just straight descriptions, not in a deadpan way, not in a way that suitably conveys “this situation is funny”.
The book has some potential, but this narrator did the book no favours by being so serious and dry in delivery. A different narrator could make this book a lot more enjoyable.
The narrator wasn’t “bad” per se, there was decent differentiation between characters through their voices, I didn’t notice any mistakes in pronunciation or in production. I probably wouldn’t recommend this book in this audiobook form, but I think it’d be worthwhile to look into any other audiobook versions if they exist. Otherwise, a physical book or eBook might be the better way to experience the humour this book offers.
Story wise I enjoyed it well enough, there’s some interesting world building and the characters are decently likeable. They don’t get a lot of development since this is basically a collection of short stories, but I like that.
But if you want something like this with truly excellent narration, The Murderbot Diaries are fantastic, definitely recommended. They’re a series of novellas (plus one full length book), they’re funny, really gets you to care about these characters, and character development is handled quite well. There’s excellent sci-fi world building and a realistic portrayal of capitalism in space.
I’m mentioning it in this review because when I picked up *this* book I was hoping it would scratch that Murderbot itch as I wait for new stories to be released. Maybe that set my expectations too high.
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- Mark Harcourt
- 2021-10-24
I'm not getting that time back!
Oh my! Did I stumble into really bad YA? plodding, inner angst, steamy bodice ripping...
Don't actually know if it was unrequited, 'cause I couldn't go on.
Like being spoonfed pablum.
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- Marie Jobin
- 2021-10-24
Very entertaining! I very much enjoyed!
I would like more! I love how the fiction all makes sense. Great interprétation too!
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- Lynn Bishop
- 2021-01-04
Lovely
The narrator was great and the story was super interesting contrary to the name of the book!
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- aLex
- 2020-10-17
Hilarious!
I admittedly was turned off after listening to the sample and finding the narrator the auditory equivalent to watching paint dry; was convinced to give it a second chance, WORTH IT! The bland narration is the protagonists personality. The book is set as a series of short stories building on one another. I can’t wait to find out what this little Scooby Gang gets up to in the book.
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- Sharda
- 2019-01-31
Hillarious
Really great listen. Had me chuckling more than once. felt a little RPG-y. Complete the level and get a new member for your party!
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- Kenneth Wood
- 2018-09-13
modern day nontypical vamp novel
most enjoyable. nice to have a main character who isn't super bad as but gets by. good comedy in it as well.
#Audiable1
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- Sugarpucker
- 2015-08-10
Stories are great, not crazy about the format
This book is deftly summed up by its title. The stories are pretty good. The premise is interesting, all the characters are great. There is also pretty good plot and character development despite one major flaw. This is essentially a collection of short stories in chronological order. This format is problematic because it interrupts the flow of the story. Additionally, you get a recap at the start of each story. This is the most annoying bit. Recaps are great when you waited a long time for the next installment to come out, but when you are listening to them consistently and consecutively, the recaps get a little tedious. Otherwise it's great. Despite this, I will probably pick up the next installment when it comes out on audible. It wasn't enough to turn me off completely. If the next one is like this, however, I may not continue. Kirby Heyborne is spot on in his narration, no problems there.
246 people found this helpful
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- sherri
- 2016-09-18
Fun for a While
I was delighted with the opening story but wasn't happy to discover this is a compendium of linked stories rather than a novel. There is a bit of overall plot and character development through the book-- i.e. Fred discovers hidden talents-- but the same narrative arc repeats itself in each story to such an extent that they become predictable. The book was saved by a nice twist at the end, making it an overall fun experience but frustrating because it could have been better. The repetitive background explanations were not even edited out of each story.
113 people found this helpful
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- Greg Hill
- 2015-09-25
Utterly Awesome!
I thought I had had just about enough of vampires. I've been doing the vampires thing since the early 90's with White Wolf games, and Ann Rice novels. I thought I had seen it all, and I was surely not going to be sucked in again. No, not me. No one else was going to beat that undead horse on my dime. Then Drew Hayes released a damn vampire book.
On the strength of his other titles, I eventually gave in and got it. It's not my favorite Drew Hayes novel, but it might be my favorite vampire novel.
Fred is a great character, easily fun enough to excuse his being a vampire, and his scooby gang of friends expands with each tale, and they are all really cool. Each of them shows off that Drew Hayes knew what he was doing, sucking us in with the most tired, cliche of the big ticket monsters and then blowing socks off with his interesting take on the rest of the supernatural zoo.
101 people found this helpful
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- Aaron Brown
- 2015-03-21
Loved the title...but this was riveting...
I almost didn't get this book. I listened to NPCs and found it clever and fun and that brought this one on my radar. The title sounded amusing, but it also sounded like one of those stories that would lag after the initial idea wore thin (a Vampire Accountant). But the author did a good job of continually adding a colorful cast that kept it fresh. Plus Fred the vampire stays true to his mild mannered roots and never loses his appeal. The author stays away from the temptation of turning Freddy into a badass and making him like every other vampire anti hero out there. If you have a sense of humor you will enjoy.
100 people found this helpful
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- David W Cochrane
- 2018-05-29
Too much of a good thing.
Starting out this was a highly entertaining set of short stories. Great premise. Wonderful main character. Interesting secondary characters. Also masterfully performed by Kirby Heyborne.
Perhaps if one takes this in small doses it would be tolerable. It was too repetitive. The main character's constant reference to his foibles became tedious. Yes. He is not the cinema's ideal vampire. We got that the first time. And the second time. Third time. Etc.
"Hell is repetition." Andre Linoge. Storm of the Century by Steven King.
78 people found this helpful
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- Diana
- 2015-03-09
Entertaining, story of a mild-mannered vampire
that wears sweaters and loafers.
This is, apparently and confusingly, a set of stories in series, that adds characters with each episode and spends some time reviewing and reintroducing and reminding the reader (listener) about previous events. The author and editor would have done well to just smooth all that out - it would work fine for "story time" at a school, but is annoying for an adult reader.
And, there is another bit of confusion here. The story could easily be made for children or young adults, except there is a bit of adult language in there, and at the end of the last story the author (as if afraid this was going to end up being a children's book) was heavy handed with foul language.
The characters Drew Hayes created are wonderfully imaginative and very 3-D, described in detail and with interesting personalities, gifts, and histories. The plot is adequate in getting the characters out and about and into and out of situations and interacting with each other.
It's almost as if these stories were published before they were given more time and effort and with a couple more drafts of work by the author with a good editor demanding *more!* this would have been a great book.
It was still enjoyable, even though flawed. Entertaining, and unfortunately due to the language, not recommended for kids.
43 people found this helpful
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- Mario
- 2015-04-17
Just your friendly neighborhood bloodsucker
We are given characters that are genuine, an original take on the urban fantasy and overall heartfelt stories.
Fred is fresh take on the cliche vampire badass. He might be a vampire but he is still a mild-mannered accountant. He is a coward and yet he still manages to brave when the chips are down.
This is a series of stories that introduces a new character in each story and each one is awesome!!!
From Krystal his high school best friend to his zombie assistant Albert to the werepony Bubba.
Drew Hayes has my deepest respect this is a fun easy listen that well worth your money or credit
28 people found this helpful
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- K
- 2015-08-06
A light, humorous detour through the paranormal
Fred, the Vampire Accountant reads more like a collection of short stories, or perhaps it would be better compared to a television series. The characters are an interesting lovable bunch, and it plays like a series with everything wrapping up at the end of each tale, but with tidbits hinting at a long overarching story. I don't think it will ever win any awards for complexity, but Fred, the Vampire Accountant is a pleasant listen that will make you laugh. There seems to be plenty of set-up for a second volume, and I enjoyed this one enough to look forward to a sequel. As a final note, I will say Kirby Heyborne (the Narrator) seemed especially well suited for the main character.
27 people found this helpful
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- Erin D.
- 2017-06-20
Truth is in the title
It was a struggle to finish. The narration was almost monotone. The story is unremarkable. Not a lot to make it a very compelling recommendation.
25 people found this helpful
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- Laura L.
- 2017-03-04
A collection of short stories
This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?
People who don't have the patience to read a full story.
Has The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant turned you off from other books in this genre?
maybe
What about Kirby Heyborne’s performance did you like?
Good reading.
Any additional comments?
The story reminded me very strongly of the Dresden Files. In those books, each single book is a complete story and you are really drawn into their world. With this book (Fred), the author doesn't fully get into any one story. It's just a collection of short incomplete stories and just as the story is getting interesting it ends and the author starts a new story. I would recommend the Dresden Files to anyone who liked the stories in the Fred book but was left wanting for much much more.
25 people found this helpful