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  • The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

  • Written by: Drew Hayes
  • Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
  • Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (106 ratings)

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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

Written by: Drew Hayes
Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
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Publisher's Summary

Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one.

Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night - different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful - Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive". Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

©2014 Drew Hayes (P)2015 Tantor

What listeners say about The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

Average Customer Ratings
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

pretty good

This was fun. The characters are all charming and likable, and the stories are quick and entertaining. The format wasn't my favorite, as there was a lot of repititious information/info dumping, but it wasn't that bad.
I feel like Drew Hayes is a former fat person, because that seems to be a recurring theme in his books. I find it a bit grating, but it definitely could be worse.
Overall, a cute, entertaining collection of stories with a fantastic gimmick.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Lovely!

This was recommended to my by my cousin who is not much of a reader so I knew it would be something worth reading. I found it absolutely adorable and entertaining! A nice light listen with just enough drama and action to be very engaging. I am looking forward to picking up the next one!

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Another great series from Hayes

I loved this so much I finished the whole book within 24 hours. It's a must read if you liked Hayes' other books. The characters are very relatable and the plot is refreshing. The only thing I'm not a fan of is the power difference between Fred, our vampire accountant and crystal, his love interest. Crystal is stronger than Fred in what seems like every facet, physically, mentally, more experience, more knowledge. I prefer relationships where both parties are somewhat equal. A big power difference between couples make me worry. This doesn't distract from the story though. The focus is Fred's life as a vampire and how he grows from his experiences. I'd definitely recommend this book.

1 person found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

The narrator doesn’t capture the humorous tone of the book

I would have enjoyed this book more if the narrator treated humour as humorous, jokes as jokes, and wacky predicaments as actually wacky. Instead it was pretty dry, reading dialogue and the text as just straight descriptions, not in a deadpan way, not in a way that suitably conveys “this situation is funny”.

The book has some potential, but this narrator did the book no favours by being so serious and dry in delivery. A different narrator could make this book a lot more enjoyable.

The narrator wasn’t “bad” per se, there was decent differentiation between characters through their voices, I didn’t notice any mistakes in pronunciation or in production. I probably wouldn’t recommend this book in this audiobook form, but I think it’d be worthwhile to look into any other audiobook versions if they exist. Otherwise, a physical book or eBook might be the better way to experience the humour this book offers.

Story wise I enjoyed it well enough, there’s some interesting world building and the characters are decently likeable. They don’t get a lot of development since this is basically a collection of short stories, but I like that.

But if you want something like this with truly excellent narration, The Murderbot Diaries are fantastic, definitely recommended. They’re a series of novellas (plus one full length book), they’re funny, really gets you to care about these characters, and character development is handled quite well. There’s excellent sci-fi world building and a realistic portrayal of capitalism in space.

I’m mentioning it in this review because when I picked up *this* book I was hoping it would scratch that Murderbot itch as I wait for new stories to be released. Maybe that set my expectations too high.

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I'm not getting that time back!

Oh my! Did I stumble into really bad YA? plodding, inner angst, steamy bodice ripping...
Don't actually know if it was unrequited, 'cause I couldn't go on.
Like being spoonfed pablum.

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Very entertaining! I very much enjoyed!

I would like more! I love how the fiction all makes sense. Great interprétation too!

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Lovely

The narrator was great and the story was super interesting contrary to the name of the book!

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Hilarious!

I admittedly was turned off after listening to the sample and finding the narrator the auditory equivalent to watching paint dry; was convinced to give it a second chance, WORTH IT! The bland narration is the protagonists personality. The book is set as a series of short stories building on one another. I can’t wait to find out what this little Scooby Gang gets up to in the book.

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Hillarious

Really great listen. Had me chuckling more than once. felt a little RPG-y. Complete the level and get a new member for your party!

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    4 out of 5 stars

modern day nontypical vamp novel

most enjoyable. nice to have a main character who isn't super bad as but gets by. good comedy in it as well.
#Audiable1

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  • Sugarpucker
  • 2015-08-10

Stories are great, not crazy about the format

This book is deftly summed up by its title. The stories are pretty good. The premise is interesting, all the characters are great. There is also pretty good plot and character development despite one major flaw. This is essentially a collection of short stories in chronological order. This format is problematic because it interrupts the flow of the story. Additionally, you get a recap at the start of each story. This is the most annoying bit. Recaps are great when you waited a long time for the next installment to come out, but when you are listening to them consistently and consecutively, the recaps get a little tedious. Otherwise it's great. Despite this, I will probably pick up the next installment when it comes out on audible. It wasn't enough to turn me off completely. If the next one is like this, however, I may not continue. Kirby Heyborne is spot on in his narration, no problems there.

246 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • sherri
  • 2016-09-18

Fun for a While

I was delighted with the opening story but wasn't happy to discover this is a compendium of linked stories rather than a novel. There is a bit of overall plot and character development through the book-- i.e. Fred discovers hidden talents-- but the same narrative arc repeats itself in each story to such an extent that they become predictable. The book was saved by a nice twist at the end, making it an overall fun experience but frustrating because it could have been better. The repetitive background explanations were not even edited out of each story.

113 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Greg Hill
  • 2015-09-25

Utterly Awesome!

I thought I had had just about enough of vampires. I've been doing the vampires thing since the early 90's with White Wolf games, and Ann Rice novels. I thought I had seen it all, and I was surely not going to be sucked in again. No, not me. No one else was going to beat that undead horse on my dime. Then Drew Hayes released a damn vampire book.

On the strength of his other titles, I eventually gave in and got it. It's not my favorite Drew Hayes novel, but it might be my favorite vampire novel.

Fred is a great character, easily fun enough to excuse his being a vampire, and his scooby gang of friends expands with each tale, and they are all really cool. Each of them shows off that Drew Hayes knew what he was doing, sucking us in with the most tired, cliche of the big ticket monsters and then blowing socks off with his interesting take on the rest of the supernatural zoo.

101 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Aaron Brown
  • 2015-03-21

Loved the title...but this was riveting...

I almost didn't get this book. I listened to NPCs and found it clever and fun and that brought this one on my radar. The title sounded amusing, but it also sounded like one of those stories that would lag after the initial idea wore thin (a Vampire Accountant). But the author did a good job of continually adding a colorful cast that kept it fresh. Plus Fred the vampire stays true to his mild mannered roots and never loses his appeal. The author stays away from the temptation of turning Freddy into a badass and making him like every other vampire anti hero out there. If you have a sense of humor you will enjoy.

100 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • David W Cochrane
  • 2018-05-29

Too much of a good thing.

Starting out this was a highly entertaining set of short stories. Great premise. Wonderful main character. Interesting secondary characters. Also masterfully performed by Kirby Heyborne.

Perhaps if one takes this in small doses it would be tolerable. It was too repetitive. The main character's constant reference to his foibles became tedious. Yes. He is not the cinema's ideal vampire. We got that the first time. And the second time. Third time. Etc.


"Hell is repetition." Andre Linoge. Storm of the Century by Steven King.

78 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Diana
  • 2015-03-09

Entertaining, story of a mild-mannered vampire

that wears sweaters and loafers.

This is, apparently and confusingly, a set of stories in series, that adds characters with each episode and spends some time reviewing and reintroducing and reminding the reader (listener) about previous events. The author and editor would have done well to just smooth all that out - it would work fine for "story time" at a school, but is annoying for an adult reader.

And, there is another bit of confusion here. The story could easily be made for children or young adults, except there is a bit of adult language in there, and at the end of the last story the author (as if afraid this was going to end up being a children's book) was heavy handed with foul language.

The characters Drew Hayes created are wonderfully imaginative and very 3-D, described in detail and with interesting personalities, gifts, and histories. The plot is adequate in getting the characters out and about and into and out of situations and interacting with each other.

It's almost as if these stories were published before they were given more time and effort and with a couple more drafts of work by the author with a good editor demanding *more!* this would have been a great book.

It was still enjoyable, even though flawed. Entertaining, and unfortunately due to the language, not recommended for kids.

43 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Mario
  • 2015-04-17

Just your friendly neighborhood bloodsucker

We are given characters that are genuine, an original take on the urban fantasy and overall heartfelt stories.

Fred is fresh take on the cliche vampire badass. He might be a vampire but he is still a mild-mannered accountant. He is a coward and yet he still manages to brave when the chips are down.

This is a series of stories that introduces a new character in each story and each one is awesome!!!

From Krystal his high school best friend to his zombie assistant Albert to the werepony Bubba.

Drew Hayes has my deepest respect this is a fun easy listen that well worth your money or credit

28 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • K
  • 2015-08-06

A light, humorous detour through the paranormal

Fred, the Vampire Accountant reads more like a collection of short stories, or perhaps it would be better compared to a television series. The characters are an interesting lovable bunch, and it plays like a series with everything wrapping up at the end of each tale, but with tidbits hinting at a long overarching story. I don't think it will ever win any awards for complexity, but Fred, the Vampire Accountant is a pleasant listen that will make you laugh. There seems to be plenty of set-up for a second volume, and I enjoyed this one enough to look forward to a sequel. As a final note, I will say Kirby Heyborne (the Narrator) seemed especially well suited for the main character.

27 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Erin D.
  • 2017-06-20

Truth is in the title

It was a struggle to finish. The narration was almost monotone. The story is unremarkable. Not a lot to make it a very compelling recommendation.

25 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Laura L.
  • 2017-03-04

A collection of short stories

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

People who don't have the patience to read a full story.

Has The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant turned you off from other books in this genre?

maybe

What about Kirby Heyborne’s performance did you like?

Good reading.

Any additional comments?

The story reminded me very strongly of the Dresden Files. In those books, each single book is a complete story and you are really drawn into their world. With this book (Fred), the author doesn't fully get into any one story. It's just a collection of short incomplete stories and just as the story is getting interesting it ends and the author starts a new story. I would recommend the Dresden Files to anyone who liked the stories in the Fred book but was left wanting for much much more.

25 people found this helpful