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  • The Way I Used to Be

  • Written by: Amber Smith
  • Narrated by: Rebekkah Ross
  • Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (82 ratings)

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The Way I Used to Be

Written by: Amber Smith
Narrated by: Rebekkah Ross
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Publisher's Summary

New York Times bestseller! In the tradition of Speak, Amber Smith's extraordinary debut novel “is a heart-twisting, but ultimately hopeful, exploration of how pain can lead to strength” (The Boston Globe).

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

©2016 Amber Smith. All rights reserved. (P)2016 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.

What listeners say about The Way I Used to Be

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    4 out of 5 stars

Trigger warning*

Some parts were triggering but after I forced myself to keep listening it was worth it. The story is relatable and shares the message that it’s ok not to tell right away. And there’s always someone who’ll believe you. Your reaction to trauma is valid and does need to be explained. I highly recommend this book to sexual trauma survivors who are looking to push out of their comfort zone. Walking through Edens story and listening to her thoughts and feeling her overcome and transform from silent victim to survivor is truly moving.

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    3 out of 5 stars

Voice is great

The story has an ending which makes me feel whole and completed, but in between, the story is a bit redundant that makes me wanna quit

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powerful story

this is a very powerful story of S/A and the effect it can have on the survivor their family their friendships and relationships I can't wait to read the next book to find out if josh and eden end up together

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Worth reading, moved me to tears.

A heavy read, but worth it. This book was 5/5 in my opinion. Very captivating & fantastic character development

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Good Story

A heartbreaking listen, as you know this is more common than not. My only negative thoughts were the narrator, which she was not a terrible narrator, I just couldn't get past the thought that her voice sounded like the AI voice over in Tiktok reels.

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not my normal style of book, but really enjoyed it

Narrator was great. while I cannot relate to all, it did remind me of high school experiences. finished in under 24 hours.

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No words

I’ll never be the same again after this book. Thank you, excellent and heartbreaking story.

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AMAZING

I absolutely loved this book. couldn't stop listening. I cant stop thinking about it. the voice was so good. absolutely read/listen this book!

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The ending gave me goosebumps

I really liked the book, I can relate to the character so it gave me chills... hard to read, but maybe if more people read books like this one, sexual assaults would be more understood.

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