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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
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Publisher's Summary
A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood.
When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being. And though she had the benefit of a supportive husband during this transition, she also at times resented the fact that the disruption to his life seemed to pale in comparison to hers.
As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event. But without the advantage of such a perspective, many of the patients she treated in her private practice grappled with self-doubt, guilt, and fear and suffered the dual pain of not only the struggle to adjust, but also the overwhelming shame for struggling at all.
In To Have and to Hold, Molly explores the complex terrain of new motherhood, illuminating the ways it affects women psychologically, emotionally, physically, and professionally - as well as how it impacts their partnership. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy come thorny issues such as self-worth, control, autonomy, and dependency. And for most new mothers, these issues are experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of tension, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.
As Molly examines the inextricable link between women’s well-being as new mothers and the well-being of their relationships, she offers guidance to help listeners reclaim their identities, overcome their guilt and shame, and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, scientific research, and stories from Molly’s clinical practice, To Have and to Hold provides a much-needed lifeline to new mothers everywhere.
What listeners say about To Have and to Hold
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jayme Ronald
- 2019-12-19
Incredible!
Beautifully narrated, real, raw and relatable in so many ways. This book is one every mother needs to listen to. Molly Millwood has accurately described parenthood and specifically, motherhood. Standing ovation, Molly!
Thank you!
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- J&K
- 2020-02-18
Every Mother Must Read
This book should be required reading for all mothers and their partners! Molly Millwood so accurately describes the complexity of feelings that come along with the role of mothering.
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- Vantylalala
- 2022-07-20
Was it fate?
I found this book at a point in my marriage where we were expecting a second child and I couldn’t stand my husband any longer.
This book helped me cope with all the loss I was feeling and understand how that was being reflected in our marriage.
It gave me the push to go for therapy, both Independently and as a couple.
I am already seeing things changing in a positive way both through being able to express the things I was feeling that I couldn’t quite articulate prior to reading this book and also allowing me to be ok with what I was feeling.
If you are a parent I highly recommend this book!
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- Anonymous User
- 2022-11-01
Must read... maybe not must listen.
A book that helped me understand Matrescence - the physical, psychological, emotional, and chemical changes of growing into a mother, life partner, and professional.
4/5 needed to hear/read as a mother.
2/5 audible voice - she sounded sad and grieved despite the validating and uplifting messages.
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- Louis-Vincent Ledoux
- 2023-09-11
Wow
I don't even have the words for how profoundly healing and validating and enjoyable this book is! Definitely recommend to every new mother
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- Kristen Morin
- 2020-12-21
I have never read anything that resonated to much!!!
This book is so beautifully written, and so so so reflective of new mothers experiences. I loved how the author weaves through academic literature, client stories and personal experience. I cannot say a enough about this book! Literally every work resonated with me and my experience as a new mother and wife.
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- Sam Rhodes
- 2022-08-28
self help for transition into motherhood
helpful breakdown of the complexities of new motherhood, marriage and all the feelings that come along with it. validating.
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- Anonymous User
- 2023-12-24
I've never felt so seen and heard
this book is the most accurate depiction of motherhood and marriage for me. perfect read for someone in the trenches or those just coming out of it. also great for co-parents so they can better understand and support what the mothers are going through.
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- Customer
- 2023-09-23
Book About Motherhood RUINING your ENTIRE Life
I really wanted to like this book, and gave it a real chance. But the author just goes on and on and on about how becoming a mother destroys EVERY aspect of your life. Your relationship with yourself will be ruined, your marriage/relationship with you significant other will become full of resentment and hate, your personal life, career, friendships etc will all be destroyed. If you want a book that focuses on negative aspects and catastrophes motherhood then this is the one for you. If you want a book with any kind of helpful advice, tips, recommendations on how to enjoy motherhood, maintain yourself, your relationships, and career/external things, please look elsewhere. The author offers no help or suggestions, just complains about how awful motherhood is. It was actually really sad and hard to listen to. Obviously the transition to motherhood isn't easy, and has many aspects to navigate, but it doesn't have to be life destroying, as the offer suggests. There are positive resource out there to actually help new mothers navigate their new life and journey, but this book is not one of them. If you hate your new life as a new mom and genuinely feel that it has ruined your life, then this book will likely resinate with you and make you feel seen and less alone. But offers nothing else to anyone else.
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