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  • Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

  • A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship
  • Written by: Mira Kirshenbaum
  • Narrated by: Adriane McNeely
  • Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (77 ratings)

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Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

Written by: Mira Kirshenbaum
Narrated by: Adriane McNeely
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Publisher's Summary

To make up or break up? Whether you’re just getting serious or have a long-term commitment, no other question causes so much heartache and self-doubt. Many other books tell you how to fix your relationship. This groundbreaking best seller is the first one to help you choose whether you should try—or you need to go.

Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum draws on years of research and her work with real-life couples to help you make the right decision. She shows you how to diagnose your unique situation with self-analysis and questions like these, which get to the very heart of your problems:

  • What sins are forgivable and which ones unpardonable?
  • Is your partner questioning your opinions to the point where you doubt yourself?
  • What is your sex life really like, and how important is it?
  • Is there real love left between you, and how does it stack up against all that you find unlovable?
  • Mira Kirshenbaum provides expert guidelines that are the key to making all your choices, concrete steps that you can implement right now, and the ultimate way to determine your personal bottom line—what you need to be happy. This remarkably insightful and probing guide offers advice that lets you see the truth about your relationship—and with wisdom and compassion, it helps you act with the confidence of knowing that, whether you decide to go or stay, you are doing the very best thing.

    ©1997 Mira Kirshenbaum (P)2010 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

    What the critics say

    "[T]hreaded through the book, which is written in a sympathetic, chatty, accessible style, are validating anecdotes that dramatize how other people have experienced and responded to the same problems the reader is going through." ( Publishers Weekly)

    What listeners say about Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay

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    • Overall
      5 out of 5 stars
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    this book helped me greatly

    It was very helpful book to find clarity and get out of my ambivalence with my marriage.

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    lots of info

    this is an excellent book has alot of info and questions to ask yourself

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      5 out of 5 stars
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      5 out of 5 stars

    if you are in doubt...

    almost 40 questions to ask yourself with statistics to back the odds of you being happy or not. definately usefull.

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    2 people found this helpful

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      5 out of 5 stars
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    • J T
    • 2023-01-07

    Clear and helpful

    I found this book very well written and helpful. It untangles so many different issues that can arise in a marriage and helps you to assess your relationship from so many angles. I honestly have more confidence in my marriage knowing that the issues we have can realistically be worked on. Highly recommend if you’re on the fence in your serious relationship.

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    not bad as a start but not all-encompassing

    I ONLY recommend this book for the couples who aren't experiencing major issues in their relationship, as this book seems more geared toward minor issues. When it does mention the bigger issues such as betrayal or abuse, it's very generic and it doesn't provide any solutions there either.
    I did enjoy listening to this thougb. Many great points to help guide you, especially if you cannot put s finger on why you're feeling iffy in your relationship and are having a hard time untangling all of the issues and emotions. However, I believe it could include some parts and/of more detail about various kinds of abuse in relationships, as well as the effect of addiction or mental health problems on relationships. This book is mostly common sense, so we probably would not expect that from it anyway. It can help you get started, but if there are major issues in your relationship or you're still unsure, read other books such as "Should I stay or should I go?" by Ramani Durvasula, "Should I stay or should I go" (same title) by Lundy Bancroft.

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      5 out of 5 stars

    The best book on relationships!

    This book is research and evidence-based and written by a relationship psychotherapist. It is not a random person's opinions, which is crucial when making big decisions about your life - that you don't base your decisions on other people's skewed and biased opinions. The book is a practical guide that you can feel good about. It was recommended to me well over 10 years ago by my therapist at the time. A few bad relationships later, I finally decided to give this book a read (or listen). I should've picked it up back then and saved myself many hassles. I had been on the fence about my relationship for some time and this book made everything very super clear for: it was definitely too bad to stay in. Thank you Mira Kirshenbaum.

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    So practical!

    An excellent book to really make you do your pros and cons list! I thoroughly enjoyed it.

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      3 out of 5 stars
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    not ment for abusive relationships.

    if you struggling in an abusive relationship, this book is not for you. the tile may catch your intrigue but be advised this is not for one sided abusive realationships.

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    felt like brain washing

    i dont think i enjoyed listening to it due to the fact that it's very one dimensional thinking like one plus one is two. Therefore, u should leave or stay.

    also, the amount of the same word repeating over and over made me feel like it was more brain washing that anything else.

    i would not recommend this book

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