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Unconditional Parenting

Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

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Unconditional Parenting

Written by: Alfie Kohn
Narrated by: Alfie Kohn
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One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful and largely unknown research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

©2005 Alfie Kohn (P)2016 Tantor Parenting & Families Relationships School-Age Children Teenagers

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This book was funny, eye opening, practical and not preachy about parenting styles. By putting other styles of parenting under a microscope, you're forced to really look at what kind of parent you are and how to become the one you want to be. A must read for every parent!

Every Parent Should Read This!

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incredible book that shines a light on our unconscious, preconditioned way of seeing and managing our children. I can't recommend any other book above this one when it comes to parenting. they say kids don't come with manuals. Now thanks to alfie kohn, they do.

eye and heart opening bit of empathy and wisdom

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I really enjoy the message of unconditional parenting. However, is incredibly off putting how condescending Alfie is towards other techniques or parents who don’t match his methods.

I had really hoped to learn something from this book but he contradicts himself when he mocks other parents. Parents like me, who have made those mistakes but want to do better.

I’ve reached the 3rd chapter and am left feeling insulted and put down. I’m not sure I can continue the book. I simply cannot take him seriously.

Alfie’s condescending tone overrides any positive out for me to learn from his message

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I'm an avid listener of "Repectful Parenting" books on audible. though this title is definitely heading in the direction of that and is over all based on respecting our young, I find the author lingers to long on the negatives as opposed to offering solutions to traditional parenting. to be frank, this book is a bummer. I made it half way through and have decided I'm done. It may be for some, but not for me.

Comes across preachy, not helpful.

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Just a terrible run on repetitive book that gives no solutions only observations criticizes studies and then uses the word study to promote his stuff.

Terrible run on book

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