Nothing new is this book.

The book offers a hardcore evolutionary perspective on human mating strategies.There is hardly anything new in this that the author didn'tstate in his earlier, and much better book, "the evolution of desire". Of course humans are not animals, and the author acknowledged this.The problem is that he is oftentimes is stating the obvious. It also very repetitive. The narration is as much robotic as the content. Not recommended.

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3 people found this helpful

Interesting ideas, but argumentation incomplete

The posited framework relies on scientific research and logical argumentation, which is fantastic. I love authors who supply sources and multiple validations to their claims. The result, I feel, was a self-consistent explanation of phenomena stemming from human sexual conflict. However, many arguments were not taken to their logical finish and remained unexplained. For instance, "why do women find dark triad men attractive" was given the equivalent answer of "because they fake or have qualities which women usually find attractive, such as confidence, status and wealth". That does not address the critical detail that being impregnated and abandoned by such a man is about the worst outcome a woman can get in the consensual part of the mating market, and so one would assume women would become excellent detectors of dark triad men. It makes no sense to find a man who will use you attractive. The cherry on the cake is the "sexy son hypothesis", which argues by a circle "women find them attractive because their sons, who are similar to them, would be attractive". Such holes in argumentation are found throughout the book. Personally I was disappointed by the (acknowledged) lack of discussion and explanation of sexual violence perpetrated by women, which could certainly be illuminated within the same framework. In short, a great book full of cool ideas, but that could use thorough questioning and gap filling.

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3 people found this helpful

Evolutionary psychology for feminists. Sequel?

David Buss is a pioneer in Evo psyc. Here he gives an evo-psyc explanation of the minimal to vial behaviors of men and does a decent job putting things into perspective. I wonder if he would be willing to write the companion; "Women Behaving Badly", or "Men Behaving Excellent"?

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2 people found this helpful

Not worth a credit

I loved Evolution of Desire by Buss which was much more comprehensive attempt to describe human mating from evolutionary perspective. This book brings little new information. The last chapter is especially terrible, merging evolutionary approach with feminist utopianism where author ponders if men can override their natural inclination for sexual objectification of women(?!). The overarching point is I guess it would be beneficial to some women and some men(presumably to the author) to eliminate intersexual conflict completely. I wish the author goodluck with his totally realistic plan.

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2 people found this helpful

Must read book

Every now and then, I read a book, and all I can think is, “How is this not required reading?” That’s exactly what I thought as I finished this new book from David Buss. It took me way too long to read the work of David Buss, but I kept seeing people talk about his books, so right before this new book, I read The Evolution of Desire. While the first few chapters of this new book had some of the same topics from The Evolution of Desire, it was just setting the foundation for upcoming subjects Buss was going to dive into. I love evolutionary psychology, and this book discusses the reasons behind intimate partner violence, stalking and revenge after a breakup, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and so much more.

As a father and someone who is friends with many women, I can’t stress enough how important this book is. When my son is older, I’m absolutely going to have him read this book, and I think this book may help women as well, but I’m not sure. I’m going to go find some reviews from women and see if this has any therapeutic value since so many women have been victims of what’s discussed in this book. If nothing else, the book provides education and awareness so we can all do our part to change patriarchal norms to hopefully decrease instances of violence against women.

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EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS INFO

I talk about this book a lot in my coaching business. I know a lot of men don't think they need to read this because they're a "nice guy" but you need to understand what women go through on a regular basis. Being a good person means having empathy for others. This book will teach you, both men and women, so much about unhealthy relationships.

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1 person found this helpful

Monotone narrator

Horrible choice of reader. I have no idea what the book is about because I couldn’t get through the first chapter. I heard the author on a podcast and it seems like a great book. Amazon won’t allow me to return this auto book. Definitely a candidate for return and read the book.

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Good data but seemingly one sided solution bias

Loved the data on the different sexual strategies and have no problem with presenting them and making them publicly aware… but the primary focus on “patriarchy” compromises imo the suggested solutions and direction of solutions. Too much bias painting men as the bad guys and women as the victims of male sexuality. Definitely would like to see this same kind of data Nita more nuanced and better challenged discussion on the solutions.

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Lazy. NO.

This started out well enough but about halfway through you may realize that the same thing is being said over and over but in a different form and in a different order. Not just that, but also the contradictory concept that paints high achievement oriented men as these creatures that need to change despite the fact that the only incentive for any man of this type to even exist revolves around keeping or attaining the affection of women. It just shows how one sided and or pandering this book is. Even if I was a woman who hated men, this book comes off as pandering and would insult my intelligence. It’s just like when certain people try to paint black people as these weak creatures that need help. As a black man I find it insulting. And for that reason I doubt that I would like this book if I were a woman too.
I tried to keep an open mind but as a high achieving man it’s too much to sit there and listen to accounts from people who seem to be victims but those same victims will fight to be with the high achieving men they claim to be victims of and laugh at regular achievers.

Even in an ideal world, how would it be fair for men be shunned and ignored when we have no money or status, only to beat the increasingly unfair odds of success and by some miracle actually achieve these things and then be shamed for it after the fact.

I made it to the end but this book and the analysis of the way that the data was interpreted was biased. Only towards women who don’t see themselves as a strong though. I can’t, for the life of me, understand how a rational person can act like high achieving men would choose to be the way that the world forces us to be. If we didn’t have to just to have a fighting chance at a decent life. Failure molds strong men. Is there bad that comes with that? Absolutely, but why shouldn’t there be? You get shitted on my by the world for not being shit, say okay I understand the rules of the game, then go out and become something and now it’s wrong to shit on those same people a little bit?

On the front end, men are nothing. But we have the ability to pick ourselves up by the balls and fight to the top.

The most ironic and frankly, idiotic thing about this thought process is that it doesn’t even require an ideal world to exact the changes this silly book deems that the world needs. The exact moment women stop caring about high achievers is the exact moment high achievers cease to exist.

Oh I can have a bunch of women like me for being fat and lazy? I’ll never work again.

All that said, I really don’t care overall but the book just pissed me off with its lazy approach to nuanced problems and painting women like these innocent little flowers that aren’t just as harmful as men to themselves.

…I take that back, they aren’t nuanced problems…

They’re not “problems” at all, they’re the collateral damage for walking in an entitled mentality. And shitting on people for being regular. Some of us learn the rules and you get hate the game when you’re not winning anymore. If you want the best, you’ll get the best but the best comes with the worst and if you don’t want the worst then consider less. Period.

Ps not saying, the extreme things that women can be victims of are deserved.

I am saying that, to suggest that the bad players are somehow representative of men in general is a lazy and disrespectful idea to present. I would be less harsh if this book were the beginning of the research and conclusions were being worked on but the idea that this is from the same author as the evolution of desire is downright unfortunate.

I’ll give an example, the portion asking men if they would assault women if they could never get caught is an inherently disingenuous question. That’s like asking if you were in hell and were a demon, would you act like a demon? And the person said “maybe yes?” And then concluding that it’s possible that men may be demons secretly.

Or if you don’t like that example. They talk about the women who have rape fantasies. They posit the question. Do they secretly want to get raped? Fair question then they slide right by that question without considering that those might be messed up individuals. The book doesn’t even consider the possibility that women like that could just be a little bit messed up in the head, it just goes and makes up these ridiculously convoluted reasons that they may enjoy the fantasies because men are all secretly rapists and that it is their subconscious trying to prepare them for rape or something along those convoluted lines. So you mean to tell me that women, by themselves, in their own minds, fantasize about actually being raped and enjoying it? Because of men and the history of rape through history? If that were true how come women don’t have extra fake sex organs like ducks to prevent rape?

I sometimes fantasize about being at the bank and a robber comes in and I disarm them and the mayor puts me on the news for being a hero. I do not, fantasize about being robbed to prepare myself for a possible future where I could be robbed and enjoy it.

I could buy it if we were just talking about the idea that they have nightmares of rape, but NO they are referring to actual fantasies… 🤨 Just NO.

That’s the official review summarized. NO.

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Wanted to like it but…

I’m a big fan of David Buss and went into this book at first enjoying it and then being disappointed. I think it is less of an informative read but more of an attempt for him to appeal to his feminist critics.

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