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  • When Your Daughter Has BPD

  • Essential Skills to Help Families Manage Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Written by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
  • Narrated by: Terrence Bayes
  • Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (22 ratings)

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When Your Daughter Has BPD

Written by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
Narrated by: Terrence Bayes
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Publisher's Summary

If you have a daughter with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you may feel frustration, shame, and your family may be at the breaking point dealing with angry outbursts, threats, and constant emergencies. You may even feel guilty for not enjoying spending time with your child - but how can you when her behavior is abusive toward you and the rest of your family? You need solid skills you can use now to help your daughter and hold your family together.

In this important guide, you'll learn real solutions and strategies based in proven-effective DBT and CBT to help you weather the storm of BPD and restore a sense of normalcy and balance in your life. You'll find an overview of BPD so you can better understand the driving forces behind your daughter's difficult behavior. You'll discover how you can help your daughter get the help she needs while also setting boundaries that foster respect and self-care for you and others in your family. And, most importantly, you'll learn "emergency parenting techniques" to help you put a stop to abusive patterns and restore peace.

If your daughter has BPD and your family is struggling to make it through each day, this book offers essential skills to help you cope and recover a sense of stability.

©2017 Daniel S. Lobel (P)2020 Tantor

What listeners say about When Your Daughter Has BPD

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Very helpful in understanding the dynamic at play

We are going through an incredibly difficult time with our 16 year old daughter. This book was a huge help in my understanding of the illness. It also helped me to avoid enabling actions and “feeding the monster”. The narrator is excellent and compelling.

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2 people found this helpful

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Helpful and practical resource for those in crisis

Desperately needed practical strategies to apply immediately as my well-intentioned family was barely surviving one crisis after another.
Dr. Lobel offers straight forward user-friendly techniques anyone can use right away! Helped me regain my composure, enthusiasm, energy and confidence that my relationship with my loved one was salvageable and worth salvaging. Thank you Dr. Lobel!

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2 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A Need To Read if dealing with BPD

But the patronizing voice of reader, author makes the situation even
more depressing. Daughters are devilishly difficult even without BPD. This reader rings the death knell and leaves little home. We all know BPD will never end completely but he nails the coffin.

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1 person found this helpful

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Excellent

Well-written. I have a 36 year old with BPD who has an 11 year old daughter. Great suggestions for grandparents and likely parents who do not have BPD. Not everything will work, but it’s a place to start and obviously a long, never-ending journey. Unfortunately, my daughter is now an alcoholic, so we are dealing with her but doing our best to protect our granddaughter who shows occasional signs of zoning out until she has been with us for a day. In any event, I believe this book is worthwhile reading. Thank you for writing it.

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makes people with BPD out to be monsters,horrible

Terrible, unprofessional, one sided highly biased book that calls these people monsters as if they were serial killers. Some of the wording just discredits the author as an expert or professional. poorly written, bad taste.

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  • KD
  • 2022-03-08

very informative

Hearing the scenarios was very helpful. it was like they were recording our conversation. it was nice to learn why our traditional approach to parenting was having the opposite effect.

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  • kscoco
  • 2021-03-16

Most helpful book on the subject yet

I think the doctor interviewed my daughter for this book. I am joking but it sounds exactly like my daughter...Extremely helpful. Provides coping strategies for the parents of BPD daughters. My daughter is a grown woman but this was still very helpful in explaining her behavior.

We/she has seen numerous therapists over many years. This was the most enlightened info have gotten to date. Highly recommend

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10 people found this helpful

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  • Jmurph
  • 2021-05-21

Amazing and thorough

This book saved my 12 year olds life and our family. We caught her BPD early and in just a few months she behaves like a normal child. No more explosions, violence or severe anxiety. No more perseveration. You must work together with your spouse and follow the book exactly. You must understand extinction bursts and be prepared for it. It often seems like the behavior just got exponentially worse. You must push through and hold steady. It was shocking when it happened. The most terrible outrageous behavior ever seen. Recommend wholeheartedly

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6 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2021-07-01

Do not get this audiobook

The narrator’s voice is basically intolerable. Tone, cadence, phrasing- ugh. Just don’t get this audiobook. This is the types of text that needs to be read with warmth and a sense of empathy. This sounds like a snarky robot is reading it.

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  • Angela Texas
  • 2023-07-01

Basic

This was a very basic textbook recount. Provides no real insight. This was just parenting 101. Nothing really specific to bpd and certainly nothing about severe issues or conflict.

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1 person found this helpful

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  • Todd S.
  • 2023-01-11

Must read

This book is divided, and organized extremely well. That is important so that I can go back and reference it easily if I need to. It is practical, honest and helpful. It will allow me to understand for the first time what I am dealing with and give me tools to support my daughter who I love so much.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2022-12-16

oddly lacking trauma informed perspective

Nothing in this book is bad per se, but it does have some major inexplicable gaps. Most notably, it is odd that trauma or attachment theory is never mentioned, given that BPD is usually related to childhood trauma. I would love to see this book in conversation with TBRI or other parenting practices focused on kids from hard places/ ACEs/ etc. There are some pieces of advice that feel a little off when I consider applying them to my adopted daughter with extensive trauma. it also seems odd that the book is unnecessarily gendered. I don't think any of the advice depends on your child being a girl.

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  • NoneYa
  • 2022-01-26

Sure would have been nice to have had this…

…35 years ago…

But I’m not sure all of the suggestions would have worked, as I tried them constantly.

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  • mybell19
  • 2021-11-17

Good look into this disorder

The narration was boring and sometimes there was no separation from one part to the next. The information in this book is very helpful and gives me a feeling of hopefulness and manageability. I think this book is a good resource and I recommend this book.

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  • Tiki
  • 2021-06-07

Great resource for parenting all teens!

I've begun to suspect one of mine has BPD. She's too young to be diagnosed, but this book helped me practically. It reinforced that most of us ARE good parents, don't let the difficult child define you. It tells typical behaviors that BPD's have and how to face them. It's right on as far as describing my experiences. It's good to know we are not alone, and there is help. I believe kids can heal this- or prevent it from coming to fruition, with the right tools. We need more therapists to acknowledge the specific problems without diagnosing, and to give parents the tools and advice that is fitting. I wish I had this tool years and years ago. If you're a parent, read it.

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  • gman01
  • 2023-03-21

Informative, Concise, Refreshingly Practical

This is a brilliantly helpful book. Doesn't waste time. Concise and to the point. It describes familiar behavior patterns with eerie accuracy. Offers refreshingly practical tips in effectively responding to otherwise perplexing behaviors. Many thanks to the author of this work. Highly recommended!

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