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  • Why Are We Yelling?

  • The Art of Productive Disagreement
  • Written by: Buster Benson
  • Narrated by: Buster Benson
  • Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
  • 3.9 out of 5 stars (7 ratings)

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Why Are We Yelling? cover art

Why Are We Yelling?

Written by: Buster Benson
Narrated by: Buster Benson
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Publisher's Summary

Have you ever walked away from an argument and suddenly thought of all the brilliant things you wish you'd said? Do you avoid certain family members and colleagues because of bitter, festering tension that you can't figure out how to address?

Now, finally, there's a solution: a new framework that frees you from the trap of unproductive conflict and pointless arguing forever.

If the threat of raised voices, emotional outbursts, and public discord makes you want to hide under the conference room table, you're not alone. Conflict, or the fear of it, can be exhausting. But as this powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be the most valuable tool we have at our disposal for deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas.

As the mastermind behind some of the highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard conversations in stressful environments. In this book, Buster reveals the psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive conflict and the critical habits anyone can learn to avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how arguments, you'll be able to:

  • Remain confident when you're put on the spot
  • Diffuse tense moments with a few strategic questions
  • Facilitate creative solutions even when your team has radically different perspectives

Why Are We Yelling? will shatter your assumptions about what makes arguments productive. You'll find yourself having fewer repetitive, predictable fights once you're empowered to identify your biases, listen with an open mind, and communicate well.

©2019 Buster Benson (P)2019 Penguin Audio

What the critics say

"This is a life-changing book. Read it three times and then give a copy to anyone you care about. It will make things better." (Seth Godin, author of This Is Marketing)

“This clever, empowering book shows how conflict can be a source of growth, intrigue, and joy. Buster Benson unveils a new framework for arguing that helps you understand your biases and show other people theirs in a non-confrontational way. This is the perfect book at the perfect time to bring some sanity back into disagreements.” (Annie Duke, author of Thinking in Bets)

"Buster Benson turns everything you know about arguing on its head. Before reading this book, I never thought I’d be looking forward to my next disagreement. Productive disagreeing is the most underrated life skill you can build." (Ev Williams, CEO of Medium, partner at Obvious Ventures, cofounder of Twitter)

What listeners say about Why Are We Yelling?

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Great Book! Well Laid Out Framework

This book had set out to tackle something ambitious, and it delivers. Why Are We Yelling breaks down types of disagreements we tend to have (factual, valuable, useful), voices that dominate our thoughts during an argument (power, reason, avoidance, possibility), and the outcomes we seek when we engage (security, growth, connection, enjoyment). It then runs through practical strategies to help us cultivate better outcomes as we approach disagreable topics. Throughout this book are experiments carried out by the author. The stories are relatable and the more productive outcomes are insightful.

Reading Why Are We Yelling invaluable if you work in a team, get stuck in conflict with people close to you or find yourself pulled into heated debates on the internet.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars

not what I expected

I was expecting more of hearing ways to manoeuvre angry debates or disagreements. exciting ideas and conversational skills. it was more of restating the obvious of basic civilised discussions.

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