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  • Why Him? Why Her?

  • Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type
  • Written by: Helen Fisher
  • Narrated by: Helen Fisher
  • Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (20 ratings)

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Why Him? Why Her? cover art

Why Him? Why Her?

Written by: Helen Fisher
Narrated by: Helen Fisher
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Publisher's Summary

A groundbreaking book about how your personality type determines who you love.

Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? In this fascinating and informative book, Helen Fisher, one of the world's leading experts on romantic love, unlocks the hidden code of desire and attachment. Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types - Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator - and each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type.

Until now, the search for love has been blind, but Fisher pulls back the curtain and reveals how we unconsciously go about finding the right match. Drawing on her unique study of 40,000 men and women, she explores each personality type in detail and shows you how to identify your own type. Then she explains why some types match up well, whereas others are problematic. (Note to Explorers: be prepared for a wild ride when you hitch your star to a fellow Explorer!)

Ultimately, Fisher's investigation into the complex nature of romance and attachment leads to astonishing new insights into the essence of dating, love, and marriage.

Based on entirely new research - including a detailed questionnaire completed by five million people in 33 countries - Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature's chemistry to find and keep your life partner.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

©2009 Helen Fisher (P)2009 Macmillan Audio

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Very informative!

Very informative and well read by the author. it was super easy to understand and she did a great job with lots of real life examples!

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  • GL5
  • 2020-07-01

Fascinating

This is Science based unlike astrology.
It's fun to recognize patterns in yourselves and our mate, friends and family.

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  • P.P.
  • 2010-09-09

Better than I expected

This was a good listen. Not based on myers briggs or your typical introvert/extrovert, it evaluates personality types and typical pairings and why they work and don't. It recognizes that people will have typically two contributing types, some more dominant than others, but in the end, it provided alot of insight not just for romantic relationships but for sibling relationships (which is really why I tended to buy in more to it, as those are ones I have observed over longer periods). Though the person who did this was more from the perspective of dating, I have to identify personalities and tendencies in all aspects of my life and job and found it useful in other areas.

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14 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • FABI
  • 2011-03-11

Learned alot about me and my mate.

Like other reviews, this is not only for relationships but for life. You will understand why people are the way they are. I am going to get the book to be able to referance back to a lot of stuff.

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6 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Jose
  • 2010-03-23

Not only to look for a match

Great tool to understand yourself, your current souls mate and even friends , peers , direct reports and your boss.

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6 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • darrell
  • 2009-02-26

Why Him Why Her

This is one of the best books I've read on personality types and how they interaction with each other. It's super fasinating. You won't be disappointed.

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6 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Karen
  • 2011-01-16

Why Him Why

I found this book to be very useful. Thanks for providing the tests as a downloadable attachment. It would be nice if you made it more visible for people to see maybe under the Title ...several people have mentioned not being able to have them in written form as a negative to the book.

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5 people found this helpful

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  • Marie
  • 2010-05-09

Very interesting

I loved listening to it. I learned a lot about the different personality types. When I meet people I take time to figure out what their main type is. I am getting to be pretty good at it.

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5 people found this helpful

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  • Caroline
  • 2009-09-29

Actually Good

I liked the material, I wish it was broken down better. I learned a lot about myself and I understand the man I am dating so much better. I am avoiding pitfalls and bad habits. It is very encouraging and intelligent. I am glad I took the time to listen to it and have played it often.

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5 people found this helpful

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  • Raul
  • 2010-03-17

So that's why!

I wish this book would have been available to me in my early twenties. Not because I selected the wrong mate (I didn't), but because it would have made self-discovery simpler.

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  • bogardfury
  • 2013-01-07

Commercial for chemistry

What would have made Why Him? Why Her? better?

More actual research, less vague pseudo science info.

Any additional comments?

Not worth a listen. Summary of 4 times of personalities loosely based on some research that people of this type have more of this chemical in their brain.

the 4 types make up you. But the types have all over lapping and counter active traits assigned to them because there is no real research. So the author pulls from some sources that suggest something hinting at brain chemistry effecting how well you get along with other people with types of brain chemistry... Nice idea but she sums it up in 4 chemicals which is insulting, and very vague.

The book is more about how the author selling books and call it research based. Very disappointing. I wish i didn't purchase this or other reviews would have the common sense to rate this low.

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2 people found this helpful

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  • Mikhail
  • 2011-10-19

A highly practical book

This book exceeded my expectations. To be honest, I've never seriously read any conceptions about human personality traits, and so I cannot qualify it in comparison to anything. Nevertheless, I think this book to be very efficient -- it provides a clear description of the author's suggested personality types, so clear, that you can construct a mental "filter" and easily predict a personality type of somebody you interact with or somebody you are being told about. With some practice, you may achieve a possibility to predict one's actions and reactions, based on your knowledge of personality types.

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2 people found this helpful