Showing results by narrator "Chris Elliott" in All Categories

Something has always been missing from my life. A hole that I could never seem to fill. When I accidentally turn a coven of witches into nightmares, I find out what that something is. Magic. And it turns out, I have a crap load of it. As a latent power awakens deep inside of me, I’m exposed to one of the most powerful and corrupt organizations in the magical world—the Mages’ Guild. Barely knowing a spell from a few swear words and luck, I won’t be able to evade them alone. And that’s when I meet him. 

Because no one will write an unauthorized biography about Emmy-winning actor and comedian Chris Elliott, he has done it himself. Listener, you’re hereby warned that much of this book will be disturbing. The Guy Under the Sheets is a behind-the-scenes memoir so personal, so provocative, that Elliott nearly sued himself to halt publication: The most shocking revelation, corroborated by numerous unnamed sources, is that Elliott is not the absurdist comedian that Rolling Stone once called "a genius". In fact, he’s a slightly dim-witted no-talent from a celebrity family.

Once one of the world’s greatest assassins, Aral Kingslayer has finally reclaimed his swords and his soul. But the forces that destroyed his patron Namara 12 years ago are still there, waiting, and his past as a Blade is never more than a shadow’s breadth away. 

Former temple assassin Aral Kingslayer has a price on his head and a mark on his soul. After his goddess was murdered, Aral found refuge in the shadow jack business, fixing problems for those on the fringes of Tien’s underworld. It’s a long step down from working for the Goddess of Justice, but it gives Aral and Triss - the living shadow who is his secret partner - a reason to get up in the morning.  

Once a fabled Blade of Namara, Aral Kingslayer fought for justice and his goddess alongside his familiar, a living shadow called Triss. Now with their goddess murdered and her temple destroyed, they are among the last of their kind. Surviving on the fringes of society, Aral becomes a drunken, broken, and wanted man, working whatever shadowy deal comes his way. Until a mysterious woman hires him to deliver a secret message - one that can either redeem him or doom him.