Showing results by narrator "Jonathan Sleep" in All Categories

Having established leverage over Mordred and influence in the Cardinian government, Tim is ready to move forward with the next phase of his plan. But Mordred has an ace up his sleeve that could shift the balance of power back in his favor. Cooper and Nabi attempt to reunite with the rest of the gang. Stacy and Dave are forced to put their differences aside and work together to avoid capture and execution. Julian tries to find something productive to do while Chaz goes a little too far with the rockstar lifestyle. Katherine is done taking shit from old foes.

After being scattered across the globe, our heroes seek to reunite with each other. But the consequences of recent events continue to plague them. Cooper enters the Fertile Desert, in search of Nabi. Katherine seeks to escape, and take back her ship. Julian tries to placate Akane, while keeping Chaz out of trouble. Stacy vows revenge on the ettins, who continue their destructive rampage in the Cedar Wilds. Dave sets his sights on power and wealth. And Tim....What the hell is Tim up to? Meanwhile, Mordred's army of brainwashed Knights spread ever farther, in their search for his dice.

Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.

Christmas has served as a fertile background for mystery fiction for a very long time, perhaps because it has the appearance of a time of peace and love while being so deeply at odds with violence, crime, and even murder. Many of the stories in this anthology have been written by some of the greatest Golden Age authors, undoubtedly inspired by the juxtaposition of the disparate elements of love and hate.

In Antarctica, a research expedition discovers an ancient structure buried deep in the ice. In Indonesia, a genetics researcher identifies a breakthrough treatment for autism. But these two incredible discoveries aren't what they seem. They will set off a race to unravel the deepest secrets of human existence—the true history of human origins. And an event that could change humanity forever.

Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape. One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them.

This is a collection of the second six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series.

After Katmere, I shouldn’t be surprised by anything. Including the existence of a world beyond my world called the Shadow Realm. Yet here I am, stuck in a strange, dangerous place with the worst of the supernaturals, the monster that other monsters fear: Hudson Vega. He might be Jaxon’s brother and ridiculously hot, but he’s a complete bona fide pain in my ass. The question is whether we’ll find a way out before I kill him…or run out of time.

A cattle ranch stalked by the ultimate predator. A heifer gutted and beheaded by razor-sharp claws. A ranch hand crushed and shredded by powerful jaws. According to legend—foretold by Sioux Chief Red Otter—the attacks are an omen of terrible things to come. When a grizzly attacks a man or his property during a blue moon, it is a sign that the bear has been sent from someone on the other side seeking revenge against the man that killed him. And that man—the avenger’s true target—is Hunter Buchanon.

Deeming the Whore's Head Inn no longer safe to hide in, the gang decide to take a more proactive role in their pursuit to get back to reality, or at least to keep Mordred from doing so.

This is a collection of the first six short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes "Cave of the Kobolds"; "Zombie Attack"; "Orcs, Bears, and Assholes"; "Shipfaced"; "Dungeon Crawl"; and "The Creep on the Borderlands".

After Katmere, I shouldn’t be surprised by anything. Including the existence of a world beyond my world called the Shadow Realm. Yet here I am, stuck in a strange, dangerous place with the worst of the supernaturals, the monster that other monsters fear: Hudson Vega. He might be Jaxon’s brother and ridiculously hot, but he’s a complete bona fide pain in my ass. The question is whether we’ll find a way out before I kill him…or run out of time.

Going back home was not exactly what Tim and the C&C gang expected. Trouble continues to follow them back to Gulf Coast Mississippi. Trouble...and a gnome...and an undead midget.

This is a collection of six short stories from the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following stories: "Slimes and Misty Wieners", "Great Balls on Fire", "Your Anus Is a Gas Giant", "Clear and Present Ranger", "The Mimic's Chest", and "Styxian Stoners May Break My Boners".

I was once a mighty Paladin of Darkness, mother of all the Elements. The one and only of my kind. Some called me the chosen one, a savior destined to rescue the world; others insisted I would be its downfall. I never got the chance to discover who was right. Society conspired with the traitors to trap me in the deadly Element of Time. But a year later, I managed to break free . . . wait, how has it been 700 years?

In the wake of their recent loss, the Caverns and Creatures gang are left hanging. Do their choices amount to more than waiting around to die of thirst and leaping to a quicker death? Probably, or else this would have been a much shorter story.

The Shara Daim Legions stopped the Erasi fleets from pushing further into their territory, and with the invasion halted a lull in the war gives the Empire time to seek a diplomatic solution on behalf of their new ally. But the Erasi are stalling the diplomatic talks, and the Shara Daim are not willing to wait for long before launching an offensive to take back their systems. The Erasi are master manipulators, and while they feign interest in a peaceful resolution, a massive force from their core is gathering, commanded by one of the founders of the Erasi.

Thirty years after the events in the Solar system, the Empire had entered a time of expansion and advancement. Six hundred light years from Earth, humanity starts again. But, their safety and peace are threatened when a hostile force is detected in one of the systems close to the Empire's border.

Alex Armstrong has changed everything about herself—her name, her appearance, her backstory. She's no longer the terrified teenager a rapt audience saw on television, emerging in handcuffs from the quiet suburban home the night her family was massacred. That girl, Alexandra Quinlan, nicknamed Empty Eyes by the media, was accused of the killings, fought to clear her name, and later took the stand during her highly publicized defamation lawsuit that captured the attention of the nation.

Splitting the party is never a good idea, but sometimes, that's just the hand fate deals you. On Nazere, the gang's plans are cast into the wind when a stubborn foe returns to settle a score. Back in Cardinia, Stacy has her hands full trying to help Dave, while Dave does everything in his power to avoid being helped. Tim and Cooper stagger out of the desert, to find themselves in a whole new world of trouble.