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Desire cover art

Desire

Written by: Lauren Fogel Mersy, Jennifer A. Vencill
Narrated by: Samara Naeymi
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Publisher's Summary

A radically inclusive, sex-positive guide to managing the inevitable libido differences in our relationships, authored by two certified sex therapists who are passionate about good sex

Desire invites listeners of all ages, genders, sexual orientations, and relationship structures to shed the shame and misinformation that surround the topic of sex and instead learn from 2 certified sex therapists about how libido really works. Desire differences are one of the most common relationship issues, yet, with fewer than 1,100 certified sex therapists in the country, it can be difficult to find help. This essential book breaks the mold of the sex self-help genre, which typically focuses only on cisgender women.

Through the authors’ expert guidance readers will learn about

  • embracing a more expansive definition of sex,
  • identifying various factors that can impact libido,
  • managing anxiety around sex (one of the biggest libido killers),
  • the structural oppressions—from cisnormativity to heteronormativity to compulsory sexuality to minority stress—that affect our libido,
  • and much, much more.

It rejects the narrow, heteronormative, “staircase” model of sex—a way of thinking where many relationships get stuck. It integrates evidence-based relationship therapy techniques for better communication around sex.

Included are dozens of techniques, exercises, checklists, and journal prompts for readers to use at their own pace to fit their needs, including mindfulness, body mapping, and sensate focus. Whatever your identity, sexual practices, or reason for picking up this book, Desire will help you reach your personal sexual health goals.

©2023 Lauren Fogel Mersy and Jennifer A. Vencill (P)2023 Beacon Press

What the critics say

“Fogel Mersy and Vencill’s advice is grounded in clinical experience, delivered in accessible prose, and backed by a sex-positive attitude that accounts for a host of sexual orientations, preferences, and other factors . . . Those seeking to strengthen their sexual connections will find this a comprehensive place to start.”—Publishers Weekly

“An incredibly comprehensive, thoughtful, inclusive, and encouraging book for anyone looking to understand sexual desire or improve their relationship with their partner.” —Dr. Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH, author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction

“Essential, comprehensive, and inclusive. . . . Guide[s] the reader not only to understand the complexities of desire but also to implement changes that will hopefully lead them to their best sex life yet! . . . Once you read this book, you will never think of desire in the same way again!” —Alex Iantaffi, PhD, SEP, CST, CST-S, LMFT, coauthor of Life Isn’t Binary

What listeners say about Desire

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