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Description

This parenting classic on one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time - peers replacing parents in the lives of children - is now more relevant than ever. The latest edition includes new material on how social media and video game culture are affecting our children, and what parents can do.

In Hold On to Your Kids, Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction - for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident - as do the solutions.

©2008 Gabor Maté (P)2018 Vintage Canada

Ce que les critiques en disent

"Hold on to Your Kids blows in from Canada like a Blue Northern, bringing us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting. The authors integrate psychology, anthropology, neurology and their own personal and professional experiences as they examine the 'context' of parenting today. This is a worthy book with practical implications for mom and dad." (Dr. Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other)

"Hold on to Your Kids is visionary book that goes beyond the usual explanations to illuminate a crisis of unrecognized proportions. The authors show us how we are losing contact with our children and how this loss undermines their development and threatens the very fabric of society. Most importantly they offer, through concrete examples and clear suggestions, practical help for parents to fulfill their instinctual roles. A brilliant and well written book, one to be taken seriously, very seriously." (Peter A. Levine PhD, international teacher and author of the best-selling books Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma and It Won’t Hurt Forever, Guiding Your Child Through Trauma)

"The thoughts and perspectives presented by the authors are informative - even inspirational - for those who choose to dedicate their lives and energy to students." (Bulletin of the National Association of Secondary School Principals)

Ce que les auditeurs disent de Hold On to Your Kids

Moyenne des évaluations de clients
Au global
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 étoiles
    143
  • 4 étoiles
    22
  • 3 étoiles
    4
  • 2 étoiles
    2
  • 1 étoile
    1
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 étoiles
    109
  • 4 étoiles
    18
  • 3 étoiles
    7
  • 2 étoiles
    2
  • 1 étoile
    0
Histoire
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 étoiles
    113
  • 4 étoiles
    16
  • 3 étoiles
    3
  • 2 étoiles
    3
  • 1 étoile
    1

Évaluations – Cliquez sur les onglets pour changer la source des évaluations.

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  • Au global
    2 out of 5 stars

long winded and heavy on theory

as a parent that is trying to better understand ways to form healthy happy relationships with my children and avoid common pitfalls, i often found myself frustrated with the amount of elaboration on theory. in chapter 9, when discussing maturity, the author seemed to feel it was necessary to discuss cell division.

to be fair, if i was choosing to read a hard copy it would be much easier to skip past this 'fluff' ...

the value i am looking for has not yet been apparent in the 9 chapters. i do not feel much closer to understanding how i can change my behavior in order to achieve the outcomes im looking for.

a summary of pitfalls, real examples and advice on shaping my own behavior would be much more helpful that the 16 hours of elaboration on theory, quotes from jerry seinfeld and meandering repetitive inner monologue that is presented here.

3 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    3 out of 5 stars

A great book parenting for teens!

did take a long time for me to finish, although I enjoyed the narrator and the teenage stories. has me thinking how I can be more considerate of their needs and holding balance in our lives.

3 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Great read for all parents

I love that this isn't another book with specific techniques on parenting, rather a book to help parents see how to best connect with their children in a natural way and to understand the root of the problems. I'm focusing my energy on what's truly improving as he suggests and have seen wonderful things happen with our teens. It's a game changer and one we need to share with others. I am so glad a friend shared this with me.

2 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    3 out of 5 stars

Informative & pertinent, but too repetitive

I bought the hard copy and realized I couldn’t get through it (as it was a bit dry), so I gave Audible a chance and listened to it while I was driving.

The only reason why this rating has lost a couple of stars was because of the boring tone of the speaker and repetitive nature of how the information was laid out. If possible, I would recommend a more concise version.

Overall I do recommend this book because there were key messages that have positively influenced my parenting/connection to our child...and we have noticed an improvement in his behaviour.

Not only was he more willing to be complaint with helping out or accepting boundaries, our increased level of connection has increased overall happiness and laughter in the house.

2 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Should be a requirement for every parent

This work is vital in our society, if every person that has or works with children read this book - our society would permanently be changed for the better.

2 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Wonderful and insightful book!

This book was so informative and applicable! What a gift to have received this help in raising our precious kids! Thank you!

1 personne a trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

A must-read if you have kids, especially teenagers

I needed this book! My own childhood taught me nothing about healthy loving relationships. I had to learn that for myself, from scratch. Gordon Neufeld decodes the issues that have teenagers separating from their parents, and gives concrete tools to maintain or repair the relationship, as needed. If you have a teenager or tween, this is the book!

1 personne a trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars

Hold onto this book!

Loved it! Great insight. Well put together. I applaud the authors and the team behind the development of this book.

1 personne a trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars

Great book

loved this book, very informative and eye opening. I'm looking forward to trying to use these technics to improve my relationship with my children.

1 personne a trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • S.H
  • 2021-12-06

mundset changer

Loved it. This book has the solutions (patience and love) to all the real life struggles affecting our children.

Trier :
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  • Au global
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Utilisateur anonyme
  • 2020-01-11

Very very disappointed

I am a child and adolescent psychiatrist and family therapist and this book is a pain to go through... I am at chapter 8 at this point and I am only reading on in hope it will get better.
It definitely has some good bits but otherwise I find it full of nonsense.
The book has a very judgmental tone and the although I was expecting it to be more evidence based and the author states his opinions as facts, he fails to come with the science that backs up most of his judgy statements.
My main problem with the discourse of this book is how Mr Neufeld goes on and on about “peer oriented child” and “peer orientation” as the main problems. Not much about parents... how does a child become peer oriented and who is responsible for children? The facts are given like the “peer culture” comes and steals children from their homes where they are happy and content with their parents. Such BS!
Most descriptions seem to correspond very well with Northern American culture, not so much with the European culture, although some difficulties are universal.
Also the author’s discourse seems to be fueled by his own personal frustrations.
I really had more expectations from a book whose author is also Dr Gabor Mate... but this is on my.
I will keep on listening and come back with my conclusions.
I hope I am wrong about this book!

11 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Halls
  • 2018-12-30

most recommended parenting book

I am a family therapist and this is the only book on parenting I recommend. Brilliantly written on the latest brain research

10 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Amasong
  • 2019-09-17

Life-changing

I have my child back. Instead of slammed doors and anger, I now have “please stay” and “can I ask your advice.” Thank you for this permanently life changing book and for helping parents raise loving future parents. Praise built on unconditional love yields permanent bonds with children. This book should be given out to parents upon departure from hospital delivery rooms.

9 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Ernest P. Clover
  • 2019-01-14

So great as a young father!

This is hard for me because I was raised a certain way, took in the lies of society, and peer grooming. This really forced me to take a step back and think before I engage with my kids, have a plan to work and work the plan.

9 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Mary Robbins
  • 2019-06-08

This book deserves 10,000 stars!

While I don’t believe this book is perfect, at times I thought the reasoning was winding and repetitive, the content is unmatched in its insight.

Never have I heard read anything about parenting that gave me such a clear sense of purpose of my own role and understanding into my children. The thing Neufeld writes rings so true. I remember feeling the exact things he talks about as a child.

This is not your typical parenting book with tricks and tips; if you have problem A, then apply solution B to solve. The onus is on the parent to understand the child’s developmental stage, their needs and their abilities, and provide the necessary comfort, boundaries, care, etc. Over time I have seen my family transform from what I learned from this book. I wish I could give every new parent this book!

7 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Stephen
  • 2019-03-01

Vital

It's probably one of the most important books I've read. Not only does it explain why our culture is headed the direction it is, but it also gives us a way out of the course it's taking us in.

5 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Yasmin R.
  • 2019-03-07

A parenting reality check

Fantastic information for our times, guiding parents with practical examples on how to parent our children through the age of information overload.

4 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Punky Bruiser
  • 2021-03-19

Best book on attachment parenting of older kids

This is the definitive guide to attachment parenting in the digital era. It provides the foundational principles beyond Dr. Sears’ attachment parenting of babies, and delves deep on how attachment to parents is crucial for the proper development of children and adolescents.

The title and overall outline of this book is wrong because its real value is not on exposing the dangers of boogie man peer attachment but on the clear presentation of what attachment parenting should look like.

After listening to this i was able to explain strengths and weaknesses of my own family relationships and was able to understand my childhood and adolescence by understanding my attachment to peers and parent, providing great insights on my actual sense of self.

This book is a must for any parent of children and adolescents of any age, but it will be particularly helpful to parents of toddlers, especially those with no siblings, who might be concerned their children’s with poor peer sociability. Hint: forget about it, the real predictor of healthy socialization is the attachment of young children to their parents.

The readers put so much energy onto this book that it almost felt like applauding at some point. It would have been of great help to speak out loud the numbers on numbered items in the book (hard to follow lists of important things or tips when one is not reading the book).

2 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • christopher
  • 2020-12-07

An Important Book

The way in which the book transcends our modern zeitgeist and gets back to our roots, incorporates some of the best modern wisdom and science, and does so without having an outdated reactionary bent is very refreshing. I derived a great deal of value from this book and would recommend it to just about anyone, but especially to parents and caregivers of children.

- Proud Father of a Lovely 9y/o Girl

2 les gens ont trouvé cela utile

  • Au global
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Histoire
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Amazon Customer
  • 2020-11-30

I’d recommend for all parents with toddlers to preteens

I loved that the author cites there sources. He went on to give a story related to the chapters main points which really collected it all nicely. Some alarming stats and it was 50/50 on feeling ready to hold onto my kid and feeling hopeless that too much damage has been done and the road ahead will be arduous.

I will say, I bought this book a while ago and I just finished today. The narrator was kind of boring... maybe it’s my adhd, I just had a very difficult time listening to this for more than 30 min at a time.

2 les gens ont trouvé cela utile