In this episode of Almost Oblivious, Autumn Baker peels back the layers on what abuse often looks like in the beginning — before it becomes obvious. Instead of visible violence or control, many abusive relationships begin quietly, through subtle shifts in behavior, boundary-testing, love-bombing, and emotional manipulation. Autumn explores how “conditioning” works: shaping your sense of self, your comfort with discomfort, and your tolerance for things that don’t feel right — all while making you believe you’re loved, protected, and “lucky.”

Listeners will learn to identify early warning signs including:

• The “perfect partner” act and love-bombing.

• Critiques disguised as caring comments.

• Small, consistent boundary tests.

• Guilt banking and “favors” that become leverage.

• Fast-forwarded emotional intimacy.

• The “foot-in-the-door” technique: small asks leading to bigger demands.

• The slow slide into justifying behavior that feels off, or minimizing discomfort.

We share how these patterns are often missed — even by people who love deeply and believe the best. She encourages listeners to trust their instincts, notice their body’s reactions, and reach out to safe people if something doesn’t feel right.

Why This Episode Matters:
Understanding early conditioning gives listeners power. Early recognition can help prevent deeper abuse. Even if you’re not currently in a relationship, this episode offers awareness — knowledge that could protect you or someone you care about in the future.

Who Should Listen:

• Anyone questioning a relationship’s early dynamic.

• Survivors reflecting on their past.

• Friends or family who want to support a loved one.

• Anyone wanting to better understand how abuse can begin subtly.

🔗 Resources:

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-abuse

• https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse/basic-information/what-could-be-warning?utm

• https://www.simplypsychology.org/signs-of-emotional-abuse.html?utm
• https://shadowsofcontrol.com/articles/love-bombing-tactics/?utm

https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Learn-the-red-flags-for-coercive-control-1.pdf?utm🎧 Listen, Follow & Share: Available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream.

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In this rewind episode, we revisit the often overlooked reality that domestic abuse doesn’t only affect the survivor — it impacts everyone who loves them. Family and friends carry their own fear, confusion, grief, and emotional wounds as they watch someone they care about struggle. This conversation explores how abuse ripples through relationships, why those around the survivor are affected so deeply, and how healing extends beyond just one person..

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Domestic abuse doesn’t only affect the victim; it leaves deep scars on everyone around them. In Episode 3, Autumn Baker explores the far-reaching impact of domestic violence on children, friends, and family members. This episode sheds light on the trauma and challenges that loved ones face, revealing how abuse creates ripples that extend through entire communities and generations. Join us as we discuss how we can support those affected and work together toward healing.

For more information please check out our website!

⁠⁠⁠AlmostObliviousPodcast.com⁠⁠⁠

If you would like to submit your story or be a guest speaker, please submit a form here!

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Strangulation is one of the most lethal forms of domestic violence — yet many victims minimize it because there are often few or no visible marks. In this episode, Autumn breaks down what strangulation actually is, why it is medically dangerous, and why it is one of the strongest predictors of homicide in abusive relationships.

This episode explains:

• The difference between choking and strangulation

• How little pressure is required to stop blood flow to the brain

• How quickly unconsciousness and death can occur

• Why bruising often does not appear immediately — or at all

• Short-term and long-term medical effects

• How to document strangulation safely and discreetly

• Why strangulation is treated as a high-lethality warning sign

If you have experienced strangulation — even once — your fear is valid. Your safety matters. Support exists, and you deserve to access it when you are ready.

🔗 Resources:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline — Call 1-800-799-7233 or chat at: ⁠https://www.thehotline.org⁠

• Training Institute on Strangulation Prevention. (2022). Strangulation Fact Sheet. ⁠https://www.strangulationtraininginstitute.com⁠

• Journal of Emergency Medicine, 35(3), 329–335. ⁠https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jemermed.2007.05.042⁠

• Campbell, J.C., Webster, D., & Glass, N. (2009). The Danger Assessment: Validation of a lethality risk assessment instrument for intimate partner femicide. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 24(4), 653–674.

• Wilbur, L., Higley, M., Hatfield, J., Surprenant, Z., Taliaferro, E., Smith, D. J., & Paolo, A. (2001). Survey results of women who have been strangled while in an abusive relationship. Journal of Emergency Medicine, 21(3), 297–302.

• National Domestic Violence Hotline. Understanding Strangulation. ⁠https://www.thehotline.org/resources/understanding-strangulation/⁠

• American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP) Clinical Guidelines

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A year ago on Halloween, Almost Oblivious was born — a small podcast with a big purpose: to break the silence on domestic violence.

What started as my personal healing journey has grown into a community of survivors, advocates, and listeners who remind me every day that our stories matter.

In this special anniversary episode, I’m opening up about who I am, why I started this podcast, and how this past year has changed everything — from turning 30, navigating narcolepsy, working full time, and preparing to welcome our baby boy, to reflecting on how far we’ve come together.

💜 Here’s to one year of courage, community, and growth — and to the many stories still to come.

🔗 Resources:

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM):October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month — a time to raise awareness, honor survivors, and educate others about the signs and realities of abuse.

If you or someone you know is in an unsafe situation, help is available:

📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline1-800-799-SAFE (7233)⁠⁠www.thehotline.org⁠⁠(Available 24/7 via phone, chat, or text “START” to 88788)

📱 National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN):1-800-656-4673⁠⁠www.rainn.org⁠⁠

💻 National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health:⁠⁠https://ncdvtmh.org/⁠⁠

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In this personal episode, host Autumn Baker opens up about what it’s like to sit in the quiet after escaping chaos — and how silence can feel both healing and heavy.

“The Silence After the Storm” explores the strange, unsettling calm that survivors often face after leaving an abusive relationship, and the quiet that sometimes comes before they leave — when they begin to emotionally disconnect to survive.

Autumn also shares her own reflections on slowing down, navigating narcolepsy during pregnancy, and learning that rest isn’t weakness — it’s part of recovery.

If you’ve ever felt like the stillness after abuse was too quiet, too lonely, or too confusing, this episode is a gentle reminder: you’re not broken. You’re healing. You're not alone.

🔗 Resources:

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM):October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month — a time to raise awareness, honor survivors, and educate others about the signs and realities of abuse.

If you or someone you know is in an unsafe situation, help is available:

📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline1-800-799-SAFE (7233)⁠www.thehotline.org⁠(Available 24/7 via phone, chat, or text “START” to 88788)

📱 National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN):1-800-656-4673⁠www.rainn.org⁠

💻 National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma & Mental Health:⁠https://ncdvtmh.org/⁠

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👉 Follow us @AlmostObliviousPodcast on IG or FB

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In this short episode of Almost Oblivious, Autumn shares space to process the collective heaviness following the recent tragedy in our country. Violence—no matter where it happens—leaves behind shock, grief, and trauma. Autumn offers reminders for coping in difficult times: unplugging from social media, stepping back from the 24/7 news cycle, grounding in the present moment, and leaning on community for support.

This episode is a reminder that we were never meant to carry trauma alone. Healing begins when we pause, breathe, and care for ourselves and each other.

🔗 Resources:

• www.psychologytoday.com

• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  📞 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
  💬 Text “START” to 88788
  🌐 thehotline.org
  24/7 confidential support, safety planning, and resources.

• National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) – Dial 988 for immediate support, available 24/7.

• SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline – Call or text 1-800-985-5990 to connect with crisis counselors for stress, trauma, and grief.

• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine – Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or text “HELPLINE” to 62640 for mental health support.

• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – Call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or chat at rainn.org for confidential support (helpful if trauma was triggered by past violence).

• Crisis Text Line – Text HELLO to 741741 to connect with a trained crisis counselor via text.

• 🌍 For listeners outside the U.S.: Please look up your local crisis hotline number, or check this international directory: findahelpline.com.

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