The more relationships you've had, the better you are at love. Not worse. Not damaged. Better.

In this episode, I explore the neuroscience and psychology of why multiple committed relationships—or evolving through phases in one long relationship—actually make you a better partner.

You'll discover:

• Why your brain literally rewires with each relationship

• The 3 core insights every relationship teaches you (what you need, how your nervous system responds, what real love looks like)

• Why the real learning happens AFTER the relationship ends—when your nervous system finally calms

• How to extract wisdom from past relationships through 3 powerful practices

• Why "The One" is a myth and what actually matters in building lasting love

Key insight: If you're in the Re-discovery Phase right now—after divorce, breakup, or loss—you're in the most powerful learning window of your life. Not because the pain is gone, but because your nervous system is finally regulated enough to process what happened without being overwhelmed.

Practice 1: The Relationship Inventory

For each significant relationship, ask yourself: • What did this relationship teach me about myself? • What did I learn about what I need in a partner? • What patterns showed up that I want to change? • What moments made me feel most alive?

Practice 2: The Nervous System Audit

Reflect on your conflict responses: • How did I show up in conflict? (Shut down? Escalate? Run? Cling?) • What triggers caused me to shift out of feeling safe? • Is that how I want to show up next time? • What healing work do I need to do?

Practice 3: The Gratitude Practice

Write a letter to your former partner (you don't have to send it): • Thank them for the moments of joy • Thank them for showing you what you need • Thank them for the ways they helped you grow, even if the relationship ended painfully

This isn't about excusing bad behavior—it's about reclaiming your power. When you can find gratitude in the pain, you're no longer a victim of your past. You're a student of it.

Remember: You are not damaged by your past relationships. You are educated by them. The best relationships aren't built by people who've never been hurt—they're built by people who've been hurt, learned from it, and chosen to stay open anyway.

Connect:

Instagram/TikTok: @the_anchor_method

Website: findyouranchors.com

📝 REFLECTION QUESTIONS FOR YOUR JOURNAL

What nobody tells you about moving on is that you have to figure out who you are first.

After 16 years of marriage, I stood at the edge of a spring I used to dive and realized—I can't do this anymore. Not because I'm scared. But because every inch of that place is her. I don't have places. I have ghosts.

In this episode, I share what it's like to lose your identity along with your relationship, and how I'm slowly finding myself again—one soccer game at a time.

This is the Re-discovery Chapter. It's hard. It's messy. But you're doing it.

There's this moment that comes after loss that nobody warns you about. It's not the funeral. It's not the first holiday alone. It's the Tuesday afternoon three months later when you're standing in the grocery store, and you realize you don't have to check for allergens anymore. And that's when it hits you all over again.

In this powerful episode, I share the thing about grief that nobody prepared me for, and why understanding it changed everything.

**What you'll discover:**

• The "grocery store moment" and why mundane triggers hit the hardest

• Why grief isn't a straight line, it's waves (and what that means for your healing)

• The parking lot breakdown and what it can teach you about "through it"

• The 5 things I wish someone had told me about grief (especially #3)

• Why there's no "over it," only "through it", and what that looks like day-to-day

• How your grief is actually proof of your love (and why that matters)

**This episode is for you if you're navigating:**

• Grief after losing a spouse

• The complexities of divorce and rebuilding

• Feeling like you "should be over it by now"

• Unexpected triggers that knock you underwater

• The tension between honoring the past and moving forward

• Searching for honest hope (not toxic positivity)

**Here's the truth:** Grief doesn't mean something's wrong with you. It means love is still there. And that love has to go somewhere.

Some days "through it" means getting out of bed. Some days it means laughing without guilt. Some days it means sitting in your car in a Target parking lot and letting yourself feel everything.

All of it counts. All of it matters.

**Listen now and discover why your worst moments don't define your story—they're just part of the waves.**

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**Connect with me:**

• TikTok: @the_anchor_method

• Instagram: @the_anchor_method

**Subscribe to the podcast** for more honest conversations about grief, healing, and building a life you love after loss, no BS, no toxic positivity, just real talk from someone who's been there.

#GriefJourney #LifeAfterLoss #Widow #Divorce #HealingPodcast #MovingForward #GriefSupport #Widowhood #HopeAfterLoss #Resilience #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealth #EmotionalHealing #StartingOver #SecondChances

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**Disclaimer:** I am not a therapist or medical professional. I'm just someone who's been there, sharing my experience and insights to help you feel less alone. Please seek professional help if needed.

**What's your "grocery store moment"? Share it with me on social media, I read every message.**