Every year after Christmas, the same conversation resurfaces: moms waking up to empty stockings and the internet rushing in with advice to leave, rage, or declare the relationship doomed.

But what if the stocking isn’t the real issue?

In this episode, we slow the moment down and talk honestly about why this seemingly small disappointment hits so hard for so many moms and what it actually reveals about mental load, visibility, inherited patterns, and modern partnership.

We read real posts from moms, talk through the full spectrum of reactions (from “it was an honest miss” to “this has been happening for years”), and explore why the empty stocking often becomes a quiet test of recognition, effort, and shared responsibility.

This isn’t a hate-on-men episode.
And it’s not a “just get over it” one either.

It’s a grounded conversation about:

• Why this moment feels bigger than gifts

• How inherited family patterns show up at holidays

• When disappointment is information—not a verdict

• Why “just tell him what you want” often doesn’t work

• How couples can respond without blowing things up or sweeping it under the rug

We also share what actually helped us have one of our most connected Christmases yet and what we see help couples repair moments like this instead of letting resentment calcify.

If this episode stirred something up and you want help having the conversation underneath the disappointment, we created a free guide called The Stocking Was the Symptom—a calm, honest conversation guide for couples who don’t want this moment to define their marriage.
👉 postpartumtogether.com/stocking-problem-convo-guide

In this episode you'll also hear:

A men’s group Mike is hosting on January 12th focused on emotional regulation, visibility, and showing up as a teammate at home

👉 Link to men’s group registration

Threads referenced:

@eliseoras

@crfreund

@sidneyraz

@sheisapaigeturner

@omgskr

This conversation is for parents who feel disappointed but not done—who believe growth is possible and want a better way forward.

Baby’s first Christmas can come with a lot more weight than most people talk about.
The pressure to make memories. The logistics. The overstimulation. The quiet grief when it doesn’t look the way you imagined it would.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike talk honestly about what babies are actually learning during the holidays and why it has far less to do with gifts, photos, or traditions, and far more to do with tone, pace, and safety.

We unpack how parental calm shapes a baby’s nervous system, why “making it special” often turns into performance, and how couples can protect their energy (and each other) during high-pressure seasons.

This isn’t an episode about lowering your standards or forcing gratitude. It’s a permission slip to let this Christmas be real, slower, and more human, and to trust that presence matters more than perfection.

If this season is highlighting exhaustion, resentment, or the need for clearer communication between you and your partner, this is exactly the kind of work we support couples with.
You can learn more or connect with us at postpartumtogether.com.

The number one way to tank the holidays for your family isn’t burnt rolls, forgotten gifts, or a crooked tree. It’s walking into every room wound tight, resentful, and pretending your energy isn’t affecting anyone.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down what kids actually remember about the holidays (hint: not the matching pajamas) and why your nervous system becomes the emotional backdrop of the season. Drawing from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman’s research, and Polyvagal Theory, they explain how kids store emotional memories more deeply than the details of any event.

You’ll hear real-life stories, honest confessions, and simple tools to help you pause before you snap, breathe through triggers, and become more of a thermostat than a tornado.

Plus, they’ll walk you through practical ways to share the holiday mental load, so you’re not carrying 99% of the invisible prep while resenting everyone else.

If the holidays feel heavy, you’re not failing. You’re just carrying too much alone. Let’s change that.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why the emotional climate of the home matters more than perfect food, outfits, or décor

• How kids “remember” holidays in their bodies, not just with their minds

• What research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman, and Polyvagal Theory tells us about stress, safety, and childhood memories

• The difference between being “yourself” and becoming an emotional tornado in a shared space

• Why moms especially feel pressure to “make it magical” and how that pressure slides into performance mode

• Common holiday nervous system triggers:

  • Family dynamics that make you feel like you’re 12 again

  • Financial strain and gift pressure

  • Schedules being completely off (bedtimes, routines, sugar, travel)

• A simple nervous system reset you can use in the bathroom, car, or closet in 20–30 seconds

• How to take a pause without abandoning the conversation or triggering your partner

• Using micro-plans and 5-minute check-ins to prevent 80% of holiday resentment

• How to share the load before you explode (including using a “mental load brain dump” list together)

• 10-Day Holiday Mental Load Series – short daily videos to help you regulate, set boundaries, and share the load this season.

• Holiday Mental Load Brain Dump / Template – get everything out of your head and into a shared plan with your partner.

• Our Current Offers for Expecting and New Parents – coaching, workshops, and resources at: postpartumtogether.com → “Current Offerings.”