Every year after Christmas, the same conversation resurfaces: moms waking up to empty stockings and the internet rushing in with advice to leave, rage, or declare the relationship doomed.

But what if the stocking isn’t the real issue?

In this episode, we slow the moment down and talk honestly about why this seemingly small disappointment hits so hard for so many moms and what it actually reveals about mental load, visibility, inherited patterns, and modern partnership.

We read real posts from moms, talk through the full spectrum of reactions (from “it was an honest miss” to “this has been happening for years”), and explore why the empty stocking often becomes a quiet test of recognition, effort, and shared responsibility.

This isn’t a hate-on-men episode.
And it’s not a “just get over it” one either.

It’s a grounded conversation about:

• Why this moment feels bigger than gifts

• How inherited family patterns show up at holidays

• When disappointment is information—not a verdict

• Why “just tell him what you want” often doesn’t work

• How couples can respond without blowing things up or sweeping it under the rug

We also share what actually helped us have one of our most connected Christmases yet and what we see help couples repair moments like this instead of letting resentment calcify.

If this episode stirred something up and you want help having the conversation underneath the disappointment, we created a free guide called The Stocking Was the Symptom—a calm, honest conversation guide for couples who don’t want this moment to define their marriage.
👉 postpartumtogether.com/stocking-problem-convo-guide

In this episode you'll also hear:

A men’s group Mike is hosting on January 12th focused on emotional regulation, visibility, and showing up as a teammate at home

👉 Link to men’s group registration

Threads referenced:

@eliseoras

@crfreund

@sidneyraz

@sheisapaigeturner

@omgskr

This conversation is for parents who feel disappointed but not done—who believe growth is possible and want a better way forward.

Baby’s first Christmas can come with a lot more weight than most people talk about.
The pressure to make memories. The logistics. The overstimulation. The quiet grief when it doesn’t look the way you imagined it would.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike talk honestly about what babies are actually learning during the holidays and why it has far less to do with gifts, photos, or traditions, and far more to do with tone, pace, and safety.

We unpack how parental calm shapes a baby’s nervous system, why “making it special” often turns into performance, and how couples can protect their energy (and each other) during high-pressure seasons.

This isn’t an episode about lowering your standards or forcing gratitude. It’s a permission slip to let this Christmas be real, slower, and more human, and to trust that presence matters more than perfection.

If this season is highlighting exhaustion, resentment, or the need for clearer communication between you and your partner, this is exactly the kind of work we support couples with.
You can learn more or connect with us at postpartumtogether.com.

The number one way to tank the holidays for your family isn’t burnt rolls, forgotten gifts, or a crooked tree. It’s walking into every room wound tight, resentful, and pretending your energy isn’t affecting anyone.

In this episode, Chelsea and Mike break down what kids actually remember about the holidays (hint: not the matching pajamas) and why your nervous system becomes the emotional backdrop of the season. Drawing from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman’s research, and Polyvagal Theory, they explain how kids store emotional memories more deeply than the details of any event.

You’ll hear real-life stories, honest confessions, and simple tools to help you pause before you snap, breathe through triggers, and become more of a thermostat than a tornado.

Plus, they’ll walk you through practical ways to share the holiday mental load, so you’re not carrying 99% of the invisible prep while resenting everyone else.

If the holidays feel heavy, you’re not failing. You’re just carrying too much alone. Let’s change that.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why the emotional climate of the home matters more than perfect food, outfits, or décor

• How kids “remember” holidays in their bodies, not just with their minds

• What research from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, Gottman, and Polyvagal Theory tells us about stress, safety, and childhood memories

• The difference between being “yourself” and becoming an emotional tornado in a shared space

• Why moms especially feel pressure to “make it magical” and how that pressure slides into performance mode

• Common holiday nervous system triggers:

  • Family dynamics that make you feel like you’re 12 again

  • Financial strain and gift pressure

  • Schedules being completely off (bedtimes, routines, sugar, travel)

• A simple nervous system reset you can use in the bathroom, car, or closet in 20–30 seconds

• How to take a pause without abandoning the conversation or triggering your partner

• Using micro-plans and 5-minute check-ins to prevent 80% of holiday resentment

• How to share the load before you explode (including using a “mental load brain dump” list together)

• 10-Day Holiday Mental Load Series – short daily videos to help you regulate, set boundaries, and share the load this season.

• Holiday Mental Load Brain Dump / Template – get everything out of your head and into a shared plan with your partner.

• Our Current Offers for Expecting and New Parents – coaching, workshops, and resources at: postpartumtogether.com → “Current Offerings.”

ou made it to the final episode of our 10-day Holiday Mental Load Series, and that says something meaningful about who you are as a partner and a parent.
You’ve shown up with intention, reflection, honesty, and a desire to make this season lighter for everyone in your home, including yourself.

In today’s wrap-up, we look back on everything you’ve covered:
• Home + hosting• Family logistics• Event schedules• Emotional labor• Your own sanity + capacity• Travel prep• Gift logistics• Shared planning• Mixed emotions

And most importantly, you now have the language, tools, and clarity to share the load instead of silently carrying it alone.

In this episode, we talk about:
• The patterns couples fall into during early parenthood• Why awareness is the first step toward change• How to keep using these tools through the whole year• What “teamwork” actually looks like in real life• How to protect your relationship from default-parent burnout• Why you didn’t do anything wrong — you were just doing too much

👉 Download the free Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough
Use the brain dump, holiday categories, emotional prompts, and weekly planning tools to support your conversations and protect your connection this season:
https://www.postpartumtogether.com/mental-load-braindump-holiday

You deserve a holiday that feels connected, not chaotic.
And you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Today we’re talking about something almost every new parent experiences during the holidays, but few couples actually prepare for: Mixed emotions.

Because December isn’t just joy and magic.
It’s overstimulation, nostalgia, grief, pressure, expectations, family dynamics, exhaustion, and the ache of wanting the holidays to feel a certain way… while navigating a very tender season of parenthood.

And partners don’t always feel the same way at the same time.

In this episode, we unpack:
• Why mixed emotions are normal (and expected) in early parenthood• How emotional load is just as real as logistical load• What happens when couples don’t talk about what they’re feeling• How to avoid “emotion mismatch resentment”• The “Name + Ask” Method for emotional clarity• What emotional support looks like in real, practical ways• How to honor both partners’ internal experiences — even when they’re different

This is one of the most human, heartfelt conversations of the series, and it’s designed to help couples feel safer, softer, and more connected during a season that often feels emotionally overwhelming.

👉 Download the free Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough
Use the emotional labor prompts, boundary-setting questions, holiday expectations mapping, and weekly planning sheets to support these conversations:
https://www.postpartumtogether.com/mental-load-braindump-holiday

Mixed emotions aren’t the problem.
Silence is.
You deserve emotional support this season and so does your partner.

Today we’re breaking down one of the most powerful tools for reducing resentment, confusion, and emotional overload during the holidays: the Holiday Huddle.

A Holiday Huddle is a simple 10-minute weekly check-in that helps couples stay aligned during December — before the stress, assumptions, and misunderstandings hit.
Because most holiday conflicts aren’t about what happened.
They’re about not talking ahead of time.

In this episode, we walk you through the exact Holiday Huddle process we teach inside the Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough, including:
• Step-by-step questions for a weekly check-in
• How to avoid the “default parent” dynamic
• Why assumptions create 80% of holiday tension
• How to set realistic expectations for your bandwidth
• How to divide responsibilities using Lead + Support roles
• How to identify what needs to come off your plate this week
• How to plan for emotional load, not just logistics

This is the tool that keeps couples grounded, connected, and prepared — so you’re not running on last-minute panic or silent resentment.

👉 Download the free Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough
It includes the full Holiday Huddle script, weekly planning pages, and the category breakdowns you’ll want beside you.
https://www.postpartumtogether.com/mental-load-braindump-holiday

Ten minutes.
Once a week.
Total game changer.

Today we’re digging into one of the biggest (underestimated) parts of the holiday mental load: Gift logistics and all the special extras that come with December.

Because gifts aren’t just gifts.
They’re:• Lists• Budgets• Shipping timelines• Teacher gifts• Stockings• Matching pajamas• “Who already bought what?”• “What’s developmentally appropriate?”• “Did we go overboard or not enough?”

And most of that invisible planning ends up sitting in one partner’s brain until it leads to resentment and overwhelm.

In this episode, we cover:
• Why gift logistics hit new parents so hard• The emotional labor behind “making it special”• How to prevent the default-parent dynamic with gifts• The 3 Gift Lanes Method (Mandatory, Optional, Special Extras)• How to divide holiday gifting in a way that feels fair• How to avoid overspending, duplication, and burnout• The difference between meaningful traditions and pressure-based traditions

This episode takes the weight off the “Chief Gift Officer” role many parents fall into — and helps couples build a gift plan that feels clearer, calmer, and actually joyful.

👉 Download the free Holiday Mental Load Breakthrough guide
It includes the full gift logistics category list, lane assignments, planning prompts, and a place to organize the entire holiday load together:
https://www.postpartumtogether.com/mental-load-braindump-holiday

Gifts don’t have to drain you. When you share the load, they get a whole lot lighter.

Welcome to Day 6 of our 10-Day Holiday Mental Load Series for new and expecting parents.
Today we’re digging into a part of the season that becomes shockingly heavy once you have a baby: holiday safety and travel prep.

Because holiday travel is no longer “grab your bag and go.”
It’s car seats, sleep setups, feeding supplies, backup outfits, weather checks, medicine bags, chargers, toys, kid snacks, emergency layers, nap windows, and the logistics of navigating several hours in a car or airport with a very small human who has zero interest in travel efficiency.

And usually, one partner is carrying all of this in their head.

In this episode, we break down:
• Why holiday travel becomes a full-on mental load for new parents
• The invisible planning that creates resentment if it’s not shared
• How to avoid the default-parent dynamic on travel days
• The “Travel Non-Negotiables List” (the 5–7 things every parent needs)
• How to divide travel responsibilities fairly so one person isn’t drowning
• What to do when plans go sideways (because they always do)

This episode is all about lowering the pressure, creating clarity, and stepping into travel as a team — not hoping one person magically remembers everything.

Your step-by-step guide for:
✔ Travel prep
✔ Holiday scheduling
✔ Emotional labor
✔ Gift logistics
✔ Weekly Holiday Huddles
✔ A full holiday brain dump
✔ Dividing tasks without resentment

👉 Download it here:
https://www.postpartumtogether.com/mental-load-braindump-holiday

When you plan together, travel becomes calmer — and so does the rest of the season.

We’ll break down the emotional + logistical weight behind gift giving and how to share it fairly.

Subscribe so you don’t miss it.

NEXT EPISODE: Day 7 — Gift Logistics + Special Extras