Santa gets kidnapped by Martians.
Yes—that Santa.
And somehow… it works.

Johnny Spoiler dives headfirst into Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the infamous 1964 Christmas sci-fi cult classic that’s equal parts holiday cheer, space nonsense, and accidental social commentary.

We cover:

• Why Santa vs. aliens is still a perfect movie hook

• Martian kids addicted to Earth TV (way too relatable)

• A killer robot slowly reprogrammed by Christmas spirit

• Wham-O Air Blasters, Broadway actors, and a movie shot in four days

• Why Mystery Science Theater 3000 couldn’t kill this movie

• Its legacy as one of the 100 Most Amusingly Bad Movies Ever Made

• Why this public-domain oddity is ripe for a modern remake (horror version, anyone?)

Plus:

• Holiday movie headlines

• The state of movies, AI, and studio decision-making

• Why animation keeps winning by default

• Fan shout-outs, Staff Picks, and a festive goodbye you probably shouldn’t repeat at work

If you love:
cult Christmas movies, bad sci-fi, MST3K classics, alien invasions, or Santa in absolute danger—this one’s a binge now.

Stream Hulu FREE for 30 days https://tr.ee/JohnnyHulu
Listen here.
Happy holidays… and watch out for Martians.

You clicked looking for something frosty and jolly… and ended up with Nazis, incest lore, horny mall teens, and a chain-smoking Santa Claus. Welcome to ELVES (1989) — the low-budget Christmas horror movie that dares to suggest Hitler was experimenting on elves to create a master race.

In this episode, we break down the cult holiday nightmare starring Dan Haggerty (Grizzly Adams) as possibly the grizzliest Santa in cinema history. There’s only one elf (it looks like a goblin), it kills with a steak knife, Santa smokes in every scene, and the movie somehow aired on broadcast TV despite profanity, nudity, and some truly cursed plot twists.

Along the way, we cover:
Why Christmas was once outlawed in Massachusetts
Evil elf mythology & Nazi Christmas lore
The most uncomfortable mid-movie reveal you’ll ever see
Why Dan Haggerty is way too good for this movie
And how the ending accidentally completes the evil prophecy

This is B-movie Christmas chaos, and you kind of need to see it once — if only to believe it exists.

Rating: Binge never… but experience required.

30 Days FREE Huludays https://tr.ee/JohnnyHulu

Johnny Spoiler dives headfirst into FATMAN (2020) — the unholy collision of Christmas cheer and hard-edged action starring Mel Gibson as a battle-worn Santa Claus and Walton Goggins as a vengeful hitman.

In this episode of the Binge-Watchers Podcast, we break down why Fatman feels like the gritty fake action movie advertised inside Scrooged, how Walton Goggins absolutely carries the film, and why this version of Santa is closer to Superman than a slasher villain.

Before the review, Johnny reacts to 2025 Christmas trends including:

• The rise of vintage 1990s Christmas aesthetics

• Why Christmas trees are getting smaller

• The bizarre popularity of holiday whiskey gimmicks

• Why roe > caviar at holiday parties (we said what we said)

Plus:

• Christmas movie chart shifts (Elf, The Grinch, Home Alone)

• Thoughts on the Silent Night, Deadly Night remake

• Why Fatman doesn’t quite kill Santa — and why that matters

• Deep lore questions: is Santa powered by goodwill… or force?

If you’re building your Christmas movie watchlist, curious about Santa action movies, or burned out but still searching for something rowdy, weird, and holiday-adjacent — this episode’s for you.

Binge it now. Ho ho hold the line.

30 Days FREE Huludays https://tr.ee/JohnnyHulu

You didn't mean to feel good… but here you are.

We accidentally stumble into one of the ultimate ‘90s holiday comfort movies: The Cutting Edge (1992)—the ice-cold rom-sports classic that gave us underdogs on skates, enemies-to-partners tension, and the most iconic toe pick in cinema history.

Johnny breaks down how a temperamental figure-skating ice queen and a washed-up hockey bruiser accidentally melt each other’s hearts on the road to Olympic gold—despite neither actor knowing how to skate before filming, a fractured ankle mid-shoot, and sequels so bad the original stars wanted nothing to do with them.

Along the way, we cover:

• Why The Cutting Edge is secretly one of the most relatable working-class sports movies ever

• Factory jobs, bar work, and surviving the “two years later” grind

• Moira Kelly’s chaotic injury run and near-miss with A League of Their Own

• Why figure skating partnerships are way more intimate than anyone admits

• A full compare-and-contrast with Blades of Glory, aka when parody cranked the Pamchenko Twist up to a homicidal Iron Lotus

• Holiday feel-good vibes that don’t ignore sadness—because that’s how emotions actually work

• Deja vu, time not being linear, and why quantum physics may be punching holes in your childhood memories

Plus: movie news, chaotic Seinfeld staff picks (yes, Puerto Rican Day counts), fan-service ranting, and a tease for our upcoming Christmas episode.

So lace up, grab some sequins, and remember:
This movie walked so Blades of Glory could figure-skate into a flaming dumpster.

Watch The Cutting Edge on Amazon https://amzn.to/4ifPtxz

It’s eggnog season—and not just any nog. We’re talking Golden Egg Nog from the old Hood milk mafia, the stuff thick enough to count as a sin. Perfect time for a feel-good movie, right?

Johnny Spoiler dives into one of the most unexpectedly uplifting movies of the last few years: TETRIS (2023). Yes, the movie about the video game. Yes, it’s WAY better than it has any right to be.

• The true story of Henk Rogers, Nintendo’s ride-or-die dealmaker who bet everything on a block-stacking dream.

• The real “Tetris Effect” and why the game showed up in players’ dreams for decades.

• How Tetris became the best-selling video game of all time (until Minecraft pulled a power move).

• The wild rights battle involving Nintendo, Atari, Mirrorsoft, and Soviet bureaucracy.

• Why Taron Egerton continues to own the “real-guy-in-a-crazy-situation” movie niche.

• Our favorite retro shoutouts: Game Boy, Ninja Turtles arcade, Mario 3, Chrono Trigger, Star Fox, Final Fantasy VII, and more.

• And of course: one of the best post-2000 movie mustaches ever filmed.

• Ansel Elgort & Shirley MacLaine team up for the road-trip comedy Lucy Boomer.

• An 80s-style action thriller incoming: Trial By Combat from Renny Harlin & Aaron Eckhart.

• Mattel is making… a View-Master movie?! Let’s speculate wildly.

Binge Now.
Stream it on Apple TV+ (or start that free trial), or hunt down the rumored DVD like it’s a secret Soviet cartridge.

Shout-out to Nikolaxnick on IG for tracking down our L.A. Story episode—300+ episodes still online!

• Career Opportunities

• BlackBerry

• Larry Crowne

Drink the Nog.
The Golden Kind.
Debate The Grinch.
Live your truth.

$130 OFF Good Chop https://tr.ee/GoodChopJohnny

This week on Binge-Watchers Podcast, Johnny Spoiler roller-skates through the whimsical world of Steve Martin’s L.A. Story (1991) — a surreal, romantic comedy that turns smoggy Los Angeles into a land of magic, love, and freeway philosophy.

We’re talking feel-good movies, time-travel flicks like The Butterfly Effect and Keanu Reeves’ upcoming Shiver, the fall of MTV UK, and why L.A. Story still hits differently in 2025. From enchanted freeway signs to heartfelt quotes that make you believe in love again, this episode blends nostalgia, movie trivia, and Johnny’s signature sarcasm.

Highlights:

• The Top 3 Feel-Good Movies Ever: Planes, Trains & Automobiles, The Wizard (1989), and Hook (1991)

• Behind-the-scenes secrets from L.A. Story — Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, and a young Sarah Jessica Parker

• Favorite quotes, zany ‘90s LA vibes, and why the talking signpost still rules

• Plus: Staff Picks, listener shout-outs, and an exclusive $130 OFF Good Chop deal https://tr.ee/GoodChopJohnny

Tune in for warm fuzzies, movie magic, and laughs with the happiest show on the internet.

Celebrate Halloween with Johnny Spoiler as he tears into a wild lineup of cult classics and VHS-era favorites — from Halloween 4 and Day of the Dead to Ernest Scared Stupid, Silver Bullet, and Punisher ’89. Fueled by Mountain Dew Voltage, white Reese’s cups, and pepperoni mushroom pizza, this bite-sized Halloween special is part horror hangout, part comedy commentary, and 100% Spoiler-approved chaos.

This week on Binge-Watchers Podcast, Johnny Spoiler dives deep into George R.R. Martin’s Nightflyers — the cult 80s sci-fi horror about a homicidal spaceship, psychic warfare, and love in deep space. Discover how Nightflyers compares to the short-lived 2018 SyFy series, why the original movie works better as an isolated cosmic nightmare, and what makes its cast (Catherine Mary Stewart, James Avery, Michael de Barres) unforgettable.

Plus:
🚀 Astronaut culinary secrets
🔮 Level 10 psychics and hologram heartbreaks
🧛 A Bela Lugosi biopic & medieval werewolf rumors
💀 Underworld movies ranked

Hit play for sarcasm, spoilers, and interstellar mayhem — only on the #BingeWatchersPodcast with Johnny Spoiler, your favorite blabbermouth about movies.