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Ah, the double-standard.

The way the double-standards play out in a patriarchy are part of the reason we still uphold it. Because…let’s be honest…everyone benefits somehow. I know, I know…that’s not what we want to hear, and maybe there are things I’m missing (spoiler alert: there definitely are), but there are ways people of all genders benefit from a patriarchal system.

It just prioritizes men. and further than that, a very particular type of man—what is that type of man, you ask? It depends on the location and time we are discussing.

*cough* *cough*

Because it’s made up.

*cough*

But, I digress…let’s get in to it, shall we? Let’s chat about double standards!

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EDIT: Rebecca’s new book, Raising Trans Kids: What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting This is available to purchase. You can also purchase/donate through her website (linked below), with the option of purchasing to donate to a family or community in need. We also recommend you ask your local library to purchase a copy for community use (I did this morning, and it took be about 3 minutes to request, and about an hour for them to confirm the purchase is in the works…Mid-Columbia Libraries in Tri-Cities, WA will have a copy in circulation!).

Let’s be really clear here: we are starting with a framing that LGBTQ+ individuals have a right to exist…as they are. We would love for you to play with this idea with us as we talk about how patriarchy impacts this particular demographic. One of the best ways to learn about our own biases is to be in open communication and proximity with others who don’t share our views. We would love to continue the conversation in the chat and on Instagram.

In this episode, we interview Rebecca Minor LICSW (she/they—bio below), who has a wealth of information and insights as this population is one she knows well. From working with families of transgender folks, to facilitating support communities for queer individuals, she has a breadth of knowledge most of us can only guess at. So…instead of doing that, let’s learn from someone who’s got the firsthand (and second-, and third-, and more…) experience and knowledge of what helps, what hurts, and what we’re still figuring out.

Rebecca Minor, LICSW, is a queer clinician, consultant, and educator specializing in the intersection of trauma, gender, and sexuality. As a gender specialist, Rebecca partners with trans and gender nonconforming youth through their journey of becoming and serves as a guide to their parents in affirming it. She has authored articles on LGBTQ+ youth, contributed to textbooks, and is frequently quoted as an expert on gender-affirming care. Rebecca is the founder of Prism Therapy Collective, where the approach is always trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming. Her internationally recognized consulting and parent coaching work supports organizations, schools, and businesses in building cultural responsiveness and inclusivity. She also leads bi+ (in)visibility, a community for bi+ people navigating their queer identity in the context of a straight-presenting relationship. Rebecca is an adjunct faculty member and lecturer at Boston University School of Social Work, and the author of the forthcoming book Raising Trans Kids: What To Expect When You Weren’t Expecting This (Row House, 2025).

Website: www.genderspecialist.com

Instagram: @gender.specialist

Facebook: Rebecca Minor LICSW

LinkedIn: Rebecca Minor, LICSW

This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Join us on Instagram: https://instagram.com/blackandwhiteandgold