I illustrate the over-functioner/under-performer dynamic. These are high-effort people who get low returns in their relationships. The markers of the dynamic are clearly laid out as well as the consequences of allowing this problem to persist. I share about my over-functioning past and how I changed in order to get what I give in relationship.

Prepared Coaching Interest Form: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/cpvug08L

Prepared Guide: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/cpvug08L

Timestamps:

00:03:30 Introduction to the Over-functioner / Under-performer Dynamic

0:04:00 Marker #1 - “This relationship will fall apart”

00:04:23 Marker #2 - You’re drained

00:05:19 Marker #3 - When they pull away, you give more

00:09:49 Marker #4 - You’re managing, not partnering

00:10:54 Marker #5 - You negotiate your needs

00:14:23 When the problem persists

00:18:31 Solving the problem

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

I’m not here to talk celebrity gossip — I’m here to talk principles.
In this episode, I use Cardi B and Offset as a case study for real-life relationship patterns: cheating, accountability, influence, and responsibility. Their story reveals what too many couples go through privately — how we hurt each other, react, and try to rebuild trust in the aftermath.

We’ll explore three key interviews:
1️⃣ Offset on Joe Budden — how he avoids the drama but misses key accountability.
2️⃣ Offset on Keke Palmer — where he finally owns his selfishness and the impact of cheating.
3️⃣ Cardi B on Jay Shetty — her reflections on depression, accountability, and faith after betrayal.

Along the way, I connect this to principles I’ve shared before in my episode “A Vital Conversation About Responsibility and Accountability.”
We’ll talk about how both people influence the dynamic, why accountability matters more than blame, and what it really means to operate with emotional maturity in love.

This is for people who really care about handling the complexities of relationships.

Episode - A Vital Conversation About Responsibility & Accountability:

ON APPLE-- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/boundaries-grace-with-taylor-chandler/id1540127181?i=1000722804709

ON SPOTIFY-- https://spotify.link/aHcOC3DhOXb

👉 Share with someone who’s growing & cares about accountability (or should care)

⬇️ Want to work together?
👉 1-on-1 interest: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/jqyMCsr3
👉 Couple interest form:https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/DcaoHcan

🙌🏾 Donate to my channel: https://cash.app/$taychand
(So I can do this content more often)

🤝 My links: https://linktr.ee/iamtaylorchandler (https://linktr.ee/iamtaylorchandler)

#CardiB #Offset #Cheating #Relationships #Love #ModernLove #Accountability #emotionalintelligence

00:03:46 What is a principle?
00:05:40:00 Responsibility & Accountability (linked in description)
07:55:00 Offset Cheating & Cardi Behaving Poorly
00:09:04 Relational principles & intro to context
12:03:00 Some principles seem to contradict
15:01:00 Context makes things grey
00:20:23 Joe Budden x Cardi B
00:25:16 Chaotic environments
00:27:53 Flip asks Offset how he handles difficult things (Cardi)
00:36:57 Keke Palmer x Offset
00:42:22 Jay Shetty x Cardi B
00:49:00 Summary of Offset & Cardi B’s interviews & my perspective
00:53:18 Men cheating, relationships ending, and women’s accountability
00:57:11 Parallels to normal life
00:57:42 Infidelity breaks trust, deal with the underlying issue
00:58:37 If your partner cheats, DO THIS
01:01:55 Keep your private life PRIVATE

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

I’m sharing one of the most important models in self and relational development — the Perception–Reality Model — and connecting it back to the SER Framework.

The P-R concept is a simple, powerful, and a major key to understanding why conversations turn into conflict and how to avoid it.

Bottom line is...
Perception is not reality. What you see, feel, and believe is shaped by your vantage point. That matters — but it’s not the same as truth. When your perception and reality are out of balance, chaos shows up in your interactions. Learning to check your perspective and expand it creates space for clarity, understanding, and healthier connection.

Then we zoom out to the SER Framework — Self-Esteem, Energy, and Responsibility — the foundation for becoming an attractive match and increasing your quality of life as an individual.

👉 Previous Episode -- Models for Self & Relational Development --

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/boundaries-grace-with-taylor-chandler/id1540127181?i=1000729702954

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2kjxKHyBXLgqsWdaM8wohP?si=6b464a06105d4f8d

👉 Download the model library here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IHPp0mPhKisLmyHdqNtEHufxEdiTyVWvgmAQ08pXm28/edit?usp=sharing

👉 Share the episode and support the channel if this work has helped you!

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler