I illustrate the over-functioner/under-performer dynamic. These are high-effort people who get low returns in their relationships. The markers of the dynamic are clearly laid out as well as the consequences of allowing this problem to persist. I share about my over-functioning past and how I changed in order to get what I give in relationship.

Prepared Coaching Interest Form: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/cpvug08L

Prepared Guide: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/cpvug08L

Timestamps:

00:03:30 Introduction to the Over-functioner / Under-performer Dynamic

0:04:00 Marker #1 - “This relationship will fall apart”

00:04:23 Marker #2 - You’re drained

00:05:19 Marker #3 - When they pull away, you give more

00:09:49 Marker #4 - You’re managing, not partnering

00:10:54 Marker #5 - You negotiate your needs

00:14:23 When the problem persists

00:18:31 Solving the problem

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

I’m not here to talk celebrity gossip — I’m here to talk principles.
In this episode, I use Cardi B and Offset as a case study for real-life relationship patterns: cheating, accountability, influence, and responsibility. Their story reveals what too many couples go through privately — how we hurt each other, react, and try to rebuild trust in the aftermath.

We’ll explore three key interviews:
1️⃣ Offset on Joe Budden — how he avoids the drama but misses key accountability.
2️⃣ Offset on Keke Palmer — where he finally owns his selfishness and the impact of cheating.
3️⃣ Cardi B on Jay Shetty — her reflections on depression, accountability, and faith after betrayal.

Along the way, I connect this to principles I’ve shared before in my episode “A Vital Conversation About Responsibility and Accountability.”
We’ll talk about how both people influence the dynamic, why accountability matters more than blame, and what it really means to operate with emotional maturity in love.

This is for people who really care about handling the complexities of relationships.

Episode - A Vital Conversation About Responsibility & Accountability:

ON APPLE-- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/boundaries-grace-with-taylor-chandler/id1540127181?i=1000722804709

ON SPOTIFY-- https://spotify.link/aHcOC3DhOXb

👉 Share with someone who’s growing & cares about accountability (or should care)

⬇️ Want to work together?
👉 1-on-1 interest: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/jqyMCsr3
👉 Couple interest form:https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/DcaoHcan

🙌🏾 Donate to my channel: https://cash.app/$taychand
(So I can do this content more often)

🤝 My links: https://linktr.ee/iamtaylorchandler (https://linktr.ee/iamtaylorchandler)

#CardiB #Offset #Cheating #Relationships #Love #ModernLove #Accountability #emotionalintelligence

00:03:46 What is a principle?
00:05:40:00 Responsibility & Accountability (linked in description)
07:55:00 Offset Cheating & Cardi Behaving Poorly
00:09:04 Relational principles & intro to context
12:03:00 Some principles seem to contradict
15:01:00 Context makes things grey
00:20:23 Joe Budden x Cardi B
00:25:16 Chaotic environments
00:27:53 Flip asks Offset how he handles difficult things (Cardi)
00:36:57 Keke Palmer x Offset
00:42:22 Jay Shetty x Cardi B
00:49:00 Summary of Offset & Cardi B’s interviews & my perspective
00:53:18 Men cheating, relationships ending, and women’s accountability
00:57:11 Parallels to normal life
00:57:42 Infidelity breaks trust, deal with the underlying issue
00:58:37 If your partner cheats, DO THIS
01:01:55 Keep your private life PRIVATE

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

I’m sharing one of the most important models in self and relational development — the Perception–Reality Model — and connecting it back to the SER Framework.

The P-R concept is a simple, powerful, and a major key to understanding why conversations turn into conflict and how to avoid it.

Bottom line is...
Perception is not reality. What you see, feel, and believe is shaped by your vantage point. That matters — but it’s not the same as truth. When your perception and reality are out of balance, chaos shows up in your interactions. Learning to check your perspective and expand it creates space for clarity, understanding, and healthier connection.

Then we zoom out to the SER Framework — Self-Esteem, Energy, and Responsibility — the foundation for becoming an attractive match and increasing your quality of life as an individual.

👉 Previous Episode -- Models for Self & Relational Development --

Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/boundaries-grace-with-taylor-chandler/id1540127181?i=1000729702954

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2kjxKHyBXLgqsWdaM8wohP?si=6b464a06105d4f8d

👉 Download the model library here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IHPp0mPhKisLmyHdqNtEHufxEdiTyVWvgmAQ08pXm28/edit?usp=sharing

👉 Share the episode and support the channel if this work has helped you!

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

In this episode, I’m breaking down four key areas every woman needs to get right — fitness, friendships, media, and attitude.

These aren’t random tips — they’re about how you show up in your life, your relationships, and your community. From the way you take care of your body to the energy you bring into your friendships and conversations, everything you do leaves an impression.

We’ll talk about:

• Why fitness isn’t just about looks, but about health, confidence, and longevity.
• How your circle influences your mindset and relationship success.
• The subtle ways media shapes your values and self-image.
• The role your attitude plays in how you’re perceived — and how you connect with others.

If you’re ready to elevate your standards, build self-awareness, and take ownership of the energy you bring to the world — this one’s for you.

Listen now, reflect, and take notes — these four areas will tell you exactly where to start.

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

In this episode I walk through 8 practical models I use as a licensed marriage and family therapist and personal development coach. These frameworks are designed to help you evaluate yourself and your relationships, make better decisions, and get real results.

Each model gives you a simple way to understand patterns, improve communication, and take action. If you’ve been stuck repeating the same problems in your life or relationships, these models will help you see the issues clearly and know what to do next.

What you’ll learn:

-Ability–Willingness Model: How to identify the real barrier to change
-Energy Matrix: Managing your energy so you don’t burn out or overreact
-Passive–Aggressive Communication Model: Where your communication style lands and how to adjust it
-Chicken–Egg Dynamic: Breaking cycles of blame in relationships
-CCC Model: Diagnosing the root of a problem (Character, Contingent, Circumstantial)
-Authentic Self vs. Image Gap: Why the gap between who you are and what you project causes stress
-Masculine–Feminine Polarity Model: How energy dynamics shape attraction and conflict
-Time–Cost Model: Why delaying conversations makes problems more expensive to fix

These are not abstract theories. They’re practical frameworks I use with clients to improve their personal growth and relationship health.

👉 Download the free guide with all 8 models here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IHPp0mPhKisLmyHdqNtEHufxEdiTyVWvgmAQ08pXm28/edit?usp=sharing

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

The longer you wait to address problems in your relationship, the higher the cost to solve them. Just like ignoring the “check engine” light on your car, avoiding issues in your marriage or dating life only leads to bigger breakdowns later.

I explain how preventative maintenance can save your relationship before it’s too late. By paying attention to early warning signs and being proactive, you not only protect your relationship — you actually increase your peace, energy, trust, intimacy, and long-term satisfaction.

We’ll cover 3 key areas every couple needs to maintain to avoid unnecessary conflict and future regret:

How We Communicate – Avoidant, anxious, or aggressive styles that escalate conflict instead of resolving it.

Where We’re Going – Aligning goals, values, and vision for long-term compatibility, not just short-term chemistry.

How We Got Here – Accountability and taking responsibility for your impact on the relationship.

If you want to build a healthy, lasting relationship, this episode will give you tools to recognize problems early and address them with honesty and maturity. Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, preventative maintenance is the key.

💡 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why small problems compound like debt if ignored
• How communication patterns impact long-term intimacy
• The difference between chemistry and compatibility
• Why accountability is non-negotiable for marriage success
• Practical steps for maintaining trust, peace, and emotional connection

📌 Want to work with me as a couple? https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/DcaoHcan

🌐 More resources: https://linktr.ee/iamtaylorchandler

Gottman 4 Horsemen: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Are you growing as a person but feeling like you’re growing apart from your partner? In this video, I break down the High-Low Dynamic—what happens when someone with high self-esteem, high energy, and high responsibility (High SER) pairs with someone who is struggling with low self-esteem, low energy, or low responsibility (Low SER).

I’m Taylor Chandler, a licensed marriage and family therapist and personal development coach. Using my SER framework, I’ll explain why this dynamic creates tension in relationships, dating, and marriage—and what you can do about it.

We’ll cover:
-Signs you’re in a High-Low relationship
-How the H-L dynamic starts
-Two paths forward

This advice applies whether you’re dating, in a long-term relationship, or married. My goal is to help you become the best version of yourself and build the best possible relationship.

If you’re ready to do the work—individually or as a couple—use the link below to apply for a consultation.

👉 Work with me: https://mkd8uhsug6i.typeform.com/to/jqyMCsr3
👉 More tools + writings: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler

Responsibility is the “R” in my SER framework — and it’s one of the keys to a better life and higher attraction. In this video, I break down the gigantic miscommunication showing up in almost every couple, tell you the crucial difference between responsibility and accountability, and what makes taking responsibility so hard (especially in relationships). If you want to build better character and a healthier relationship, this one’s for you :)

03:30 Difference between Responsibility and Accountability

05:50 A Couple Problem

10:30 Responsibility and accountability go together

14:54 Who is worth coaching?

15:20 The relationship between responsibility and control

17:04 Which direction am I going?

24:17 Over-burdened with responsibilities

30:17 Enabled, coddled, misinformed

34:40 America the land of the free

37:45 Human nature to find fault

38:52 Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

45:41 It’s really your fault

55:22 What I’m seeing in session

55:55 Society does not delude men about responsibility

Thank you for your support!

Website: https://www.iamtaylorchandler.com/
Instagram: @iamtaylorchandler
YouTube: @iamtaylorchandler