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Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:

Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?

Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.

This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.

In this episode, we cover:

• The two stages when boys start hiding emotions
• Why boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re struggling
• How to become an emotional safe space for your son
• What makes it hard for dads to be vulnerable
• Gentle ways to start emotional conversations with boys
• The RULER model for building emotional intelligence
• How to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawn
• Why parents’ own emotional work matters
• Practical scripts and small daily moments that build trust

Read our blog post about this topic:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/

Learn more from Brendan below:

@re.masculine

https://remasculine.com

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

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This episode will change how you see conflict.

We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.

You’ll learn:

• the Four Horsemen (with real examples)
• how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuck
• the shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healing
• how your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)
• 3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversation

This is not about fixing the last fight.

This is about changing the next one.

If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you.

Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode):

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/

Get the book The Next Conversation here

Don't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a text

If you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.

I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.

This episode is not about “how to argue better.”
It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place.

You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately…
why others shut down to survive the moment…
and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think.

We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance.

And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle.

You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills.
It is about state.

Get their new book on Amazon here.

Follow Rachel on Instagram

Follow Dr. Jessie on Instagram

Read our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments here

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube