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Today on the Reflective Parenting Podcast, I’m sitting down with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman to talk about something many parents quietly wonder about:

Why do boys sometimes pull away emotionally and how can we support them without pushing too hard?

Brendan is a researcher who has spent years studying boys, masculinity, and emotional expression. What he learned in his PhD work is both reassuring and eye-opening: boys do feel deeply, even when it looks like they’ve shut down. And the reasons they hold back are often more complex and tender than we realize.

This is a grounded, thoughtful conversation, especially meaningful for dads who want to connect more with their sons but aren’t always sure where to start.

In this episode, we cover:

• The two stages when boys start hiding emotions
• Why boys say “I’m fine” even when they’re struggling
• How to become an emotional safe space for your son
• What makes it hard for dads to be vulnerable
• Gentle ways to start emotional conversations with boys
• The RULER model for building emotional intelligence
• How to support boys who feel anxious or withdrawn
• Why parents’ own emotional work matters
• Practical scripts and small daily moments that build trust

Read our blog post about this topic:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/15/boys-emotional-needs-study/

Learn more from Brendan below:

@re.masculine

https://remasculine.com

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36176325/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9513388/

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

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This episode will change how you see conflict.

We’re talking about the proven communication patterns that destroy connection and how to replace them with healthier ones.

You’ll learn:

• the Four Horsemen (with real examples)
• how the demand–withdraw cycle keeps couples stuck
• the shocking research: negative conflict literally slows wound healing
• how your nervous system shapes your reactions (before your thoughts do)
• 3 simple questions from Jefferson Fisher that can change the next conversation

This is not about fixing the last fight.

This is about changing the next one.

If you shut down, explode, or get stuck repeating the same arguments this episode is for you.

Read our full blog post about this topic (it has all the research I mentioned in this episode):

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/11/09/the-science-of-healthy-conflict-patterns-in-couples/

Get the book The Next Conversation here

Don't miss this podcast episode to help you out with conflict:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000735018841

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

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If you’ve ever wondered why you become a different version of yourself during conflict… this episode is going to change the way you see those moments forever.

I’m sitting down with psychologists and authors Rachel Samson and Dr. Jessie Stern to unpack the science beneath conflict: your attachment history, your temperament, your nervous system sensitivity, and how all of this shapes the way you argue, withdraw, pursue, or shut down.

This episode is not about “how to argue better.”
It’s about understanding why you show up the way you do in the first place.

You’ll learn why some of us chase repair desperately…
why others shut down to survive the moment…
and why conflict can feel like it happens faster than your ability to think.

We also talk about emotional flooding and the moment when your nervous system takes over the conversation before your communication skills even get a chance.

And if you are a parent, you will hear how this shows up not only with your partner but also with your child and what you can do starting today to interrupt the cycle.

You will walk away from this episode with clarity, hope, and self compassion because conflict is not just about skills.
It is about state.

Get their new book on Amazon here.

Follow Rachel on Instagram

Follow Dr. Jessie on Instagram

Read our new blog post: The Science Behind How you Show up in Arguments here

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

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Ever wonder why some moments with your child feel effortless and deeply connected — while others leave you drained, reactive, or misunderstood? In this episode, we break down the science behind why.

Dr. Jessie Stern and psychologist Rachel Samson join Cindy to explore relational savoring — a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your bond by intentionally remembering moments of warmth, safety, and love. You’ll learn how this practice calms your nervous system, reduces stress, and builds emotional security — for both you and your child.

They also unpack the role of temperament and sensitivity in relationships. Why do some people (and kids) feel everything more deeply? What does that mean for how we connect, comfort, and communicate?

If you’ve ever said, “I wish I could stay calm when things get hard,” this conversation will give you the science and the self-awareness to start doing exactly that.

Because connection isn’t about perfection — it’s about noticing, savoring, and showing up with compassion.

Read their new book: Beyond Difficult: An attachment-based guide to dealing with challenging people

Follow Rachel Samson

Follow Dr. Jessie Stern

Read the science article: Savoring interventions for mothers of young children: Mechanisms linking relational savoring and personal savoring to reflective functioning

Listen to more podcast episodes:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170?i=1000731541535

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

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In today’s episode, Devon Kuntzman and I dive deep into what’s really happening inside your toddler’s brain when they lose it — and how you can respond without spiralling yourself.

We unpack why your child’s meltdowns aren’t your fault, what they’re trying to tell you through their behavior, and the simple mindset shift that will change how you see tantrums forever.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why is my child doing this to me?” or “I said no… why can’t they just listen?” then this episode will make you feel seen, supported, and ready for the next tantrum (yes, really).

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The real reason toddlers have tantrums (and why it’s developmentally healthy
• Why “all behavior is communication” — and how to decode what your child is saying through their actions
• How to stay calm and compassionate even when you’re triggered
• Why giving in “just this once” actually leads to more tantrums
• What to do when your child prefers the other parent — and how to not take it personally
• Devon’s 3-ingredient “Recipe for Effective Discipline” that works with every tantrum
• How to model emotional regulation — even if you never learned it growing up

Get Devon's book here:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400252954/?bestFormat=true&k=transforming%20toddlerhood%20devon%20kuntzman&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k1_1_9_de&crid=11L8ZPOO86D3&sprefix=devon%20kun

Follow her on Instagram: @transformingtoddlerhood

Read our blog post:

https://curiousneuron.com/2025/10/15/a-yale-study-shows-how-a-parents-calm-and-consistency-literally-shape-a-childs-brain/

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

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Last week, we uncovered how your child’s behaviour is really their nervous system communicating.

Today, we’re going deeper, inside the body, to explore the science of interoception, the hidden sense that helps us feel and understand our emotions.

My guest, Laura Petix, is back to break down how learning to tune into your body’s internal signals can transform the way you regulate emotions, set boundaries, and parent with calm.

We’ll explore what the research says including new studies showing that people who strengthen their interoception become more mindful, less reactive, and better at managing stress (Zamariola et al., 2019; Smith et al., 2023).

You’ll learn:

• What interoception actually is and why it’s the missing link in emotional regulation
• How to recognize your own body’s “early warning signs” of overwhelm
• Simple ways to help your child notice what emotions feel like inside their body
• What it really means to protect your nervous system (and why that’s not selfish)
• How to create routines that support regulation for both you and your child

If you’ve ever said, “I know the tools, but I can’t seem to use them when I’m stressed,” this episode will show you whyand exactly how to change that.

Tune in now to learn how body awareness can be your most powerful parenting tool and share this episode with a friend!

Get Laura's book:

A Kid's Book about Neurodiversity

Follow Laura on Instagram: @theotbutterfly

Listen to part 1 of this conversation:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/reflective-parenting-by-curious-neuron/id1440533170

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a text

You’ve heard the advice: “Teach your child to name their emotions.”

But what if the real secret to helping your child (and yourself) regulate emotions starts deeper inside the body?

In this episode, I sit down with pediatric occupational therapist Laura Petix (The OT Butterfly) to uncover what’s really going on when kids have meltdowns, get overstimulated, or shut down. Spoiler alert: it’s not about being “bad” or “defiant.”

Laura explains how your child’s behavior is actually a message from their nervous system and why understanding this changes everything about the way you respond.

You’ll learn:

• Why meltdowns, shutdowns, and big reactions are signs of nervous-system overload
• How sensory sensitivities (sound, touch, movement) shape your child’s emotions and behavior
• The difference between a tantrum and a meltdown and why that matters
• Why co-regulation starts with your calm nervous system
• The mindset shift that helps you see behavior through compassion instead of control

If you’ve ever wondered “Why does my child react this way — and why do I lose my cool, too?” this episode will open your eyes to what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Listen now and get ready to see your child’s behavior through a completely new lens.

Get Laura's Book: A Kids Book About Neurodiversity

Follow Laura on Instagram @theotbutterfly

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube

Send us a text

Do you ever hear your child say things like, “I’m such a bad kid” or “I’ll never be good at this” and your heart sinks because you don’t know what to say?

You’re not alone. And this episode is about to change the way you respond.

Today, I’m sitting down with award-winning science journalist and author Melinda Wenner Moyer to talk about her latest book Hello, Cruel World, a toolkit for raising confident, resilient kids in today’s messy, complicated world.

Here’s the truth:

➡️ Your kids will struggle with self-doubt, negative self-talk, and tough emotions.

➡️ How you respond in those moments can either shut them down or help them build lifelong confidence.

➡️ And the secret isn’t telling them “Don’t say that” it’s something much more powerful (and doable).

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The 3-step “recipe” for self-compassion (and how practicing it yourself teaches your kids to do the same).
• How to validate your child’s feelings without agreeing with their negative self-talk.
• The surprising research on resilience: why letting your kids sit with discomfort (instead of rescuing them every time) builds the skills they’ll need for life.
• Why helicopter parenting backfires — and how giving kids independence actually boosts confidence and self-esteem.
• The truth about alcohol and teens (and why letting them drink at home doesn’t protect them — it puts them at greater risk).

This conversation will give you the practical, science-backed strategies you need to:

✔️ Stop feeling helpless when your child is hard on themselves

✔️ Build their confidence in everyday moments

✔️ Feel more equipped to parent in a world that often feels overwhelming

This is one of those episodes you’ll want to save, re-listen to, and share with every parent you know.

Join Melinda's Newsletter, Now What:

https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/

Follow Melinda on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/melindawmoyer/

Parenting Self-compassion: a Systematic Review and Meta-analysis:

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12671-020-01401-x

Support the show

Join our Reflective Parenting Program to learn the science-based skills parents (and their kids) need to thrive: https://curiousneuron.com/reflective-parent-club/

Record your question, or share a parenting insight in a 1 min audio we will share on the podcast https://www.speakpipe.com/ReflectiveParentingPodcast

Book a spot in my calendar to chat about your challenges:

https://calendly.com/curious_neuron/chat-with-cindy-reflective-parent-club-clone

Grab a Free Resource: FREE Workbook: Staying Calm When Your Child Isn’t: A Parent’s Guide to Triggers and Emotions

Email: info@curiousneuron.com

📸 Instagram | 🧠 Reflective Parenting Facebook Group

🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube