“Have you ever felt guilty for wanting breathing room even though your loved one seems okay?” That’s where Barbara, 59, stands—her 63-year-old husband is early in dementia, mostly independent, yet the quiet dread won’t let her rest. We sat together to name the guilt, rebuild support, and plan without panic.

I began with my focusing prompt: “In six months, what would need to change for caregiving to feel easier—while stewarding your health and relationships?” Barbara said: clarity and calm. That becomes our map.

1) Know your “bucket” and set benchmarks. Barbara’s husband is in the first bucket (early changes, still managing basics). That means time to plan—not to procrastinate. We backward-plan from the reality that, if he lives long enough, 24-hour care will be needed, then place milestones to know when to bring help in.

2) Rebuild community before crisis. Isolation dims resilience. I used my charcoal briquettes picture: pull one coal away from the fire and it cools. Re-enter the local church and friendships so people can actually help—don’t white-knuckle alone.

3) Legal stewardship now, not later. Meet an elder-law attorney for asset protection and to review POA/health-care POA/will (I recommend naming three decision-makers in order). Remember the five-year look-back—waiting shrinks options. Using your spouse’s resources for his care is stewardship, not selfishness.

4) Quick home-alone safety check. If he can’t scan and find items out of sight (open the fridge → find food; open a drawer → find the phone), he’s no longer safe to be alone—let that guide next steps.

One small step this week: Barbara chose to return to church twice a month and start the elder-law consult. Small, faithful steps create spaciousness for your soul and safety for your home. Join our community if you need companions for the journey—steady prayer, coaching, and tools you can use right away.

Don’t walk alone. The Christian DigniCare Society (lifetime, under $100) gives you community, coaching, prayer, and practical tools. https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/cds

💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard? Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments. 📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script

🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith. 👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians

🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast. 🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask

🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now? Join our free workshop: How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps 🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl

🧭 Still Feeling Stuck? If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace. 📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca

❤️ Enjoy This Podcast? Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help. 🎧 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

“She had POA, her name on the bank, the house deed… then I asked, ‘Does your mom have a will?’ Silence.” That’s where Jennifer and I began in Episode 297—and where many of us discover the one document holding everything together.

As always, I started with my focusing prompt: “In six months, what needs to have changed for you to be able to say your caregiving journey is easier?” Jennifer’s answer: I need more support. Together, we turned that into a plan.

1) Legal clarity, not guesswork. POA is important, but a will still matters for peace and protection. If you’re not sure it exists (or where it is), make that your first call this week. Stewardship is part of your obedience; God is not a God of confusion.

2) Ask differently—get real help. “Let me know if I can help” isn’t help. Make a specific help-list (two meals/week, Saturday outing, lawn care), keep it in your purse, and when someone offers, schedule it on both calendars. People aren’t busy when it’s scheduled.

3) Simple home-safety test. If your loved one can’t scan for what they can’t see (open fridge → find food; open drawer → find phone), they’re not safe to be home alone. That single test guides next steps—no guilt, just wisdom.

4) Begin with the end in mind. If your mom lives long enough with dementia, 24-hour care will be needed. Map options now: paid in-home help, adult day, memory care. Using Mom’s money for Mom’s care is stewardship, not selfishness—you’re protecting two lives: hers and yours.

If you’re tired of guessing, I’d love to walk with you. Join the Christian DigniCare Society (lifetime access, monthly live support, prayer, practical tools) or come to our next free workshop—details in the show notes. You don’t have to carry this alone.

Don’t walk alone. The Christian DigniCare Society (lifetime, under $100) gives you community, coaching, prayer, and practical tools. https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/cds

💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard? Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments. 📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script

🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith. 👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians

🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast. 🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask

🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now? Join our free workshop: How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps 🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl

🧭 Still Feeling Stuck? If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace. 📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca

❤️ Enjoy This Podcast? Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help. 🎧 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts

Lisa knew the next step—get help in the home—but guilt and fear kept saying, “Don’t spend the money… what if you need it later?” If that’s your inner soundtrack, Episode 296 is for you. We name the fear, anchor in truth, and build a simple plan you can act on this week.

I began with my usual focusing prompt: “in six months, what needs to have happened for you to be able to say that you are stewarding your caregiving, your health, and your relationships well… and making this season easier?” Lisa said, space for me—and consistent help for Mom. That clarity became our path.

Step 1: Ask clearly (and specifically). Church family often says, “Let me know how to help,” but they don’t know what you need. Tell them plainly you’re seeking a Christian private-duty caregiver within 10–15 miles, with clear speech, who will support Mom’s independence (observe safety while letting her do breakfast, simple lunch, light cleanup, walking). Be specific about hours: 5–10–15 hours/week. Specific ask → specific help.

Step 2: Put it on the calendar. Keep a small “help list” in your purse. When someone offers, pull it out and schedule a slot on both calendars. People aren’t busy when it’s scheduled.

Step 3: Set a loving deadline. Give yourself 30 days. If you haven’t found a good-fit helper by then, hire an agency for coverage while you keep looking privately. Stewardship includes your health.

Step 4: Steward the money on purpose. Pray, then speak with an elder-law attorney about asset protection and the five-year look-back. Using Mom’s funds for her care is stewardship, not selfishness. Burnout serves no one.

All of this sits inside the Think Different Dementia Method™, with Therapeutic Truth-Telling™ for honest, kind conversations and weekly rhythms from the Contented Caregiver Blueprint™—caregiving clarity anchored in Scripture. And if you need people beside you, join the DigniCare Society—lifetime access (under $100) and a 15-minute welcome call for the first 100 caregivers.

Don’t walk alone. The Christian DigniCare Society (lifetime, under $100) gives you community, coaching, prayer, and practical tools. https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/cds

💬 What Do I Say When Dementia Makes Words Hard? Get “What Do I Say? How to Connect with Your Loved One with Dementia” — a free guide for Christian caregivers navigating confusion, repetition, and emotional moments. 📥 Download the guide now: https://www.dementiacaregivingmadeeasy.com/script

🤝 You Don’t Have to Do This Alone Join other Christian caregivers who are walking this road too — and learning how to care with compassion, clarity, and faith. 👥 Join the free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dementiacaregiversupportforchristians

🗣️ Ask Your Question Live — and Be Heard Bring your real-life caregiving questions to Ask the Dementia Coach — our free monthly Q&A session. You’ll get support, clarity, and maybe even be featured on the podcast. 🎤 Register here: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/ask

🎓 Want to Reduce Overwhelm Right Now? Join our free workshop: How to Immediately Reduce Dementia Caregiver Overwhelm and Stress — in 3 Simple Steps 🎟️ Reserve your seat: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/wsl

🧭 Still Feeling Stuck? If you’re wondering what’s underneath your stress, the Caregiver Stress Assessment can help clarify what’s really weighing you down — so you can take your next step with peace. 📊 Take the free assessment: https://www.thinkdifferentdementia.com/dca

❤️ Enjoy This Podcast? Leave a quick review on Apple or Spotify — it helps other Christian caregivers find encouragement and real help. 🎧 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts