The War Inside Your Marriage - And How to Win It Together

What if the biggest battle in your marriage isn't between you and your spouse?

In this episode, we're unpacking the real war happening inside every marriage, which is the internal battles of pride, self-protection, fear, past wounds, and unmet desires that sabotage connection. Before you get discouraged, know that you can win this war together, and Jesus shows us how.

Whether you're feeling disconnected, discouraged, or simply wanting to grow, this episode will give you the clarity and practical tools you need to move toward peace and unity again.

What We Cover in This Episode

The Lie Most Couples Believe

"If we're fighting this much, maybe we're not right for each other."
We break down why conflict doesn't mean incompatibility, it reveals something deeper.

The Real Battle Beneath Every Argument
At the heart of almost every fight is the same truth:
"I want my way."

The Three Barriers Every Couple Faces

We walk through the three sources of marital tension that have nothing to do with whether you married the "right" person:

• Psychological differences — personality friction
• Gender differences — designed strengths that feel like irritants
• Historical wounds — the stories you didn't choose but carry

The Turning Point Every Marriage Needs

The shift from
Me-first → Christlike love is where healing begins.

How to Respond When You Feel Yourself Shutting Down, Getting Defensive, or Insisting on Your Way

We share practical, simple steps to stop escalation and choose connection.

🔥 Key Takeaways

• Your spouse is not your enemy.
• The war inside your heart is often louder than the conflict in your home.
• Marriage doesn't create your struggles, it reveals them so God can heal them.
• Christlike love is the only way to win the internal war.

📖 Scriptures Mentioned

• James 4:1
• Philippians 2:3–4
• Proverbs 18:2
• Colossians 3:12–13
• Psalm 34:18

Let's Connect!

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*Disclaimer: The information discussed here is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-168-the-war-inside-your-marriage-and-how-to-win-it-together/

A Biblical Playbook for Marriage: Simple Strategies That Change Everything

What if marriage wasn't about winning arguments, but about learning how to play on the same team?

In today's episode, we sit down with Al & Autumn from MarriageTeam to talk about what it really means to have a biblical playbook for marriage. With decades of marriage and ministry experience, they share how God used their own story, messy beginnings, hard lessons, and real growth to shape their passion for helping couples build strong, lasting marriages.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Al & Autumn's marriage story and the early lessons God used to shape their ministry

• What a "marriage playbook" really means and why couples need one

• How seeing your spouse as a teammate changes everything

• The vision behind the Rick & Jane Learn to Be Married book series

• Why communication is the first step toward intimacy

• Marriage coaching vs. counseling—and why coaching can be so effective

• Common misconceptions about anger and healthier, God-honoring ways to handle it

• Simple, practical strategies couples can begin using this week

Resources & Next Steps

•Check out the Rick & Jane Learn to Be Married series https://rickandjane.com

Learn more about marriage coaching or get support through MarriageTeam at: https://marriageteam.org

For inquiries or to connect with the Rays directly: alray@rickandjane.com

If this episode encouraged you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a couple who could use some hope today.

Have you ever felt fear, heaviness, or sadness long before anything "bad" actually happened? There's nothing wrong with and you're not dramatic. But you may be experiencing anticipatory grief, and it impacts marriages far more than couples realize.

In this episode, Chris & Jamie unpack why your heart sometimes grieves before life changes… and how this hidden emotional process can affect connection, communication, and even conflict inside the marriage.

This is one of the most tender, eye-opening conversations you'll hear. Whether you're caring for aging parents, walking through health concerns, navigating infertility, or simply sensing that something in your life or marriage is shifting.

What You'll Learn in This Episode

1. What Anticipatory Grief Actually Is and how it shows up

2. Expected Causes of Anticipatory Grief in Marriage

3. Unexpected Causes Couples Don't Realize Are Grief

4. How Anticipatory Grief Shows Up Between Spouses

Many couples think they have a marriage problem —
when really, they have a grief problem.

Signs include:

• Irritability
• Anxiety
• Emotional shutdown
• Clinging or control
• Avoidance
• Misreading each other's responses

We share how this creates friction, especially when men & women process anticipatory grief differently.

5. The Transformational Question: "What am I anticipating?"

A grounding tool to help couples move from fear to clarity and compassion.

This question helps you uncover:

• The loss you're imagining
• What part of your heart feels threatened
• How your love is showing up as fear

Grief becomes a doorway to deeper connection when it's named.

6. Reframing Grief as a Couple: Turning Toward Instead of Away

We teach couples how to ask:

• "Are we fighting because of grief, not each other?"
• "Are we withdrawing because something scares us?"

And how to say:

• "I'm scared of losing ___."
• "I'm grieving how things are changing."
• "I need you with me in this."

7. What Couples Can Actually Do with Anticipatory Grief

Practical tools you can use today:

8. A Biblical Perspective on Anticipatory Grief

We explore comfort and grounding through Scripture:

• Psalm 34:18
• Matthew 6:34
• Romans 8:38–39
• 1 Peter 5:7

God meets us not only in the losses we face but also in the ones we fear.

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