Does your spouse always say “yes,” avoid conflict, or seem overly focused on making everyone else happy—even at their own expense? You may be married to a Pleaser. In this episode, we’re unpacking what it really means to be married to a Pleaser—how this love style forms, how it impacts your relationship, and what both of you can do to create deeper emotional intimacy.

💬 “Pleasers aren’t trying to be fake—they’re trying to stay safe.”

This episode is all about moving from performance to authenticity—and learning to build a marriage where honesty, vulnerability, and mutual care are welcome.

🧭 What You’ll Learn:

• What drives the Pleaser Love Style
• Why pleasers often avoid conflict and overextend themselves
• What it’s like being married to a Pleaser—and the hidden costs of chronic “yes”
• How to respond with love, not pressure
• Practical steps for Pleasers to grow in confidence and connection

💡 Key Highlights:

• Pleasers often come from critical or high-pressure homes and learned to keep the peace by minimizing their needs.
• Being married to a Pleaser may feel emotionally confusing—because it’s hard to connect with someone who won’t show you their full self.
• Change is possible when Pleasers feel safe to express, say no, and trust that love isn’t based on performance.

📖 Scriptures Mentioned:

• Galatians 1:10 – “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?”
• Ephesians 4:15 – “Speak the truth in love…”

🎯 Take Action:

• 💬 Talk with your spouse using these connecting questions:

1. What is one thing I can do for you to help make tomorrow easier?
2. What reactions of mine tend to be stressful to you?
3. Is there an area of your life, even with me, where you feel like you have to walk on eggshells? Why is that?

• 📤 Share this episode with a friend or couple who may need it.
• ⭐️ Leave a review on your favorite podcast platform to help other couples find biblical encouragement.
• 🔗 Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for more marriage tools and support.

💭 You don’t have to earn love through peacekeeping. Real connection happens when you let yourself be known—and loved—in truth.

Do you ever feel like you're talking to a wall? Or maybe like you're carrying all the emotional weight in your marriage? If so, you might be married to an Avoider—someone who disconnects emotionally, struggles with vulnerability, and often insists they’re “fine” when they’re anything but.

In today’s episode, we’re taking a deeper look into what emotional avoidance really is, where it comes from, and—most importantly—how to build emotional safety and connection in a marriage where one spouse tends to shut down.

💬 “Being married to an avoider doesn’t mean your spouse doesn’t care—it often means they were never taught how to engage emotionally in healthy ways.”

🧭 What You’ll Learn:

• The traits and mindset of the Avoider Love Style
• Why emotional shutdown isn’t personal—it’s protective
• What it’s really like being married to an avoider
• How their childhood may have shaped their emotional patterns
• Practical and biblical tools to invite connection and build trust
• Encouragement for avoiders to grow emotionally and spiritually

📖 Scriptures Mentioned:

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted…”
• Ezekiel 36:26 – “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you.”

🎯 Take Action:

• Visit ExpeditionMarriage.org for biblically based marriage resources and counseling.
• Share this episode with a friend who may be married to an avoider.
• Don’t forget to leave a rating or review to help more couples discover hope and healing.

💡 You’re not stuck in a cycle of disconnection—there is hope, growth, and emotional intimacy waiting on the other side of avoidance. Let’s start the journey together.

Do you find yourself trying to “fix” your spouse, control the outcome of your marriage, or manage every detail so nothing goes wrong? You're not alone—and you're not broken for feeling that way. But there is a better, more freeing path forward.

In this episode, Chris & Jamie unpack why we try to control our marriages, what’s really behind that urge, and how learning to surrender our grip can bring peace. You’ll gain insight, scriptural truth, and practical steps to help you trust God more deeply with your marriage and your spouse.

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

What Control Looks Like in Marriage

• Constant correction, micromanaging, withholding support
• How control often disguises itself as “help” or “concern”
• Scripture Highlight: Galatians 5:1, James 4:1–2

What’s Behind the Need for Control?

• Fear
• Control as self-protection when trust in God wavers
• Scripture Highlight: 2 Timothy 1:7, Psalm 56:3

The Problem with Control

• Damages emotional safety and connection
• Stifles the Holy Spirit’s work
• Leaves you exhausted and discouraged
• Quote: “Letting go of control doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving God His rightful place.”

How to Surrender Control and Trust God

• Identify your fears and release them to God
• Shift from pressure to prayer
• Scripture Highlight:Matthew 11:28–30

💬 Powerful Takeaway Quote:

“Control often feels like protection—but it’s actually a heavy burden God never asked us to carry.”

🎯 Call to Action:

• Share this episode with a friend who may be carrying too much
• Want more support? Learn about Christian marriage counseling at ExpeditionMarriage.org/marriage

Don't forget:
A great marriage isn’t found—it’s built, one intentional step at a time. Keep showing up. Keep trusting God. We’re cheering you on.