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Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner: Help With Healing CPTSD

Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner: Help With Healing CPTSD

Auteur(s): Dr. Tanner Wallace | CPTSD Resolution & IFS Training | CPTSD Medicine
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 So many CPTSD survivors reach a moment where they think, "I have done so much work. Why am I still getting triggered, especially around this one person?" This podcast explores the true root of our relationship issues: CPTSD. Why certain symptoms feel impossible to escape. Why certain people activate our most entrenched patterns. Why survivors often feel ashamed for "tolerating" what harmed them. This is not about self-blame. It is about understanding how CPTSD trains your system to normalize what should never have been acceptable. You will hear a truth most professionals never name: The first relational injury to repair must be the internal one. Your secure internal attachment to yourself is the foundation for every healthy relationship you will ever have. You will also hear something that is rarely said out loud: CPTSD can be resolved. It does not have to be your lifelong identity. Two years of structured, root-cause healing can move you from "I have CPTSD" to "I had CPTSD, and it no longer runs my life." Many listeners tell me they have never heard an expert speak this way. Talk therapy helped them understand their story, but it did not teach them how to heal the patterns at the root. If you are ready for survivor-to-survivor truth-telling that actually move you forward in your CPTSD Resolution, this podcast is for you. New episodes every Friday. Visit www.cptsdmedicine.com to explore more.© 2025 Tanner Wallace, PhD from CPTSD Medicine LLC. All rights reserved. Développement personnel Hygiène et mode de vie sain Psychologie Psychologie et santé mentale Réussite
Épisodes
  • 028. Getting Stuck in Thought Loops: A CPTSD Guide to Breaking the Pattern

    028. Getting Stuck in Thought Loops: A CPTSD Guide to Breaking the Pattern
    Dec 12 2025
    Thought loops are one of the most painful and confusing parts of living with CPTSD. You try to stop thinking about something, but your mind keeps spiraling. You feel stuck, ashamed, and exhausted. In this episode, I explain why CPTSD creates these loops, why they feel impossible to escape, and how you can interrupt them without force, judgment, or shame. You will learn a step-by-step process called HONOR that helps CPTSD survivors work directly with the fear, prediction, and inherited family narratives driving the loop. Instead of wasting precious time trapped in anxiety, you will learn how to transform the loop into an opportunity for healing, clarity, and Self Leadership. We will explore: • Why CPTSD thought loops form in the first place • The role of fear and inherited family patterns in creating mental spirals • Why simply telling yourself to "stop thinking about it" never works • How to interrupt the loop using HONOR • How to reclaim your internal leadership so the loop no longer runs your day If you live with CPTSD and want practical, real-world guidance to break free from the mental spirals that steal your time, energy, and peace, this episode will meet you right where you are and show you a way forward. I Choose Me: Creating the Capacity for my Two-Year "Had CPTSD" Plan My brand new free, five-week readiness experience for survivors who want to heal but do not yet have the identity, capacity, or internal permission to begin a structured CPTSD Resolution journey. This is the first step for anyone who feels the desire to heal but cannot yet step into a long-term plan. DM me on IG @cptsdmedicine or email me tanner@cpstsdmedicine.com CPTSD Resolution 101 Workshop A premium workshop for survivors who are ready to heal but do not yet know what to do or how to structure their two-year healing plan. You will leave with a clear, personalized map for your CPTSD Resolution Era. cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop Happily Ever After A high-touch, six-month coaching container for survivors ready to begin their Resolution Era with structure, partnership, and the full CPTSD Medicine Healing Protocol. This is for those who know they are ready for guided transformation and consistent support. https://cptsdmedicine.com/services HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your emotions, triggers, and relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.
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    31 min
  • 027. Stopping the Urge To Explain How To Love You

    027. Stopping the Urge To Explain How To Love You
    Dec 5 2025
    So many childhood trauma survivors carry the same belief: If I explain myself clearly enough, they will finally love me the right way. In this episode, I break down why this belief keeps you stuck in relationships where you work far harder for safety than the other person ever will. This is not a communication problem. It is a capacity problem. You cannot talk someone into being safe. You cannot use explanation, vulnerability, or emotional labor to create secure attachment in another human being. We explore the trauma pattern underneath repeated explaining, including: • A protest from younger Parts longing to be understood • A reenactment of childhood where love was unpredictable • A desire to repair what was missing • A fixation that love is earned through effort, clarity, or emotional performance You will learn how to read the real signal: If you have to teach someone how to offer basic respect, that is information about the relationship itself. It is not a sign that you need to communicate better. Inside the episode, we talk through the key Self Leadership move that changes everything: Stop explaining. Start observing. See who they are without your coaching. You will also hear what the dream outcome looks like in practice. You choose relationships where you do not need to narrate your worth. You choose people who treat you with care, consistency, and genuine prioritization without being taught how. This episode will help you interrupt over-explaining, reclaim your power, and recognize when a relationship is not aligned with the safety you require to thrive. 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Live on Zoom. If you have the time and the money for your healing but no real plan, this workshop is for you. Over four live sessions, I teach "The Map" for a two-year "had CPTSD" journey so you can stop improvising and start following a diagnosis-based plan that actually makes sense. You will leave with clear direction, practical next steps, and the confidence to move forward with purpose. → Save your seat at cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD in Education and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place.
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    27 min
  • 026. Dealing With Clinginess

    026. Dealing With Clinginess
    Nov 28 2025
    Clinginess is not desperation. It is the body's attempt to secure safety in a system that has only ever known insecurity. What many people label as "needy," "too much," or "attached too quickly" is actually a trauma-driven response rooted in one core belief: I do not trust anyone, including myself. In this episode, I break down the attachment injuries that create clinginess, the developmental history behind it, and why it is not a durable personality trait. You will learn how clinginess forms in environments where attention is inconsistent, affection is unpredictable, words and actions do not align, or reciprocity is missing. When you finally experience genuine safety, clinginess softens naturally. Not because you force yourself to "be less needy," but because your system stops bracing for disappearance. We also explore how clinginess shows up in adult relationships and in healing spaces like therapy and group programs, including: • Wanting constant reassurance • Texting excessively between sessions or dates • Panic when you do not hear back • Fear of disappointing others • Fear of being too much • Attaching quickly before assessing trustworthiness • Bracing for abandonment • Leaving before you can be left These are trust injuries, not personal flaws. You will leave this episode with clear, practical steps to build the kind of trust that naturally softens clinginess over time, including how to communicate your needs early, how to set realistic expectations, how to avoid give-to-get patterns, and how to identify where you are compromising in ways that create more anxiety. I also offer reflection prompts to take into therapy or your healing container so you can identify which Parts are using clinginess as a survival strategy and what they need to feel safer. Your clinginess is not who you are. Your system is still trying to locate safety. 🗓 Join the CPTSD Resolution 101 Weekend Workshop Live on Zoom. If you have the time and the money for your healing but no real plan, this workshop is for you. Over four live sessions, I teach "The Map" for a two-year "had CPTSD" journey so you can stop improvising and start following a diagnosis-based plan that actually makes sense. You will leave with clear direction, practical next steps, and the confidence to move forward with purpose. → Save your seat at cptsdmedicine.com/weekendworkshop HELP WITH HEALING CPTSD Can't stop fighting in your relationship? → Follow the Fight Smarter Field Guide — a self-guided learning experience to understand your conflict patterns and practice responses that lead to repair, not regret. https://cptsdmedicine.com/the-fight-smarter-field-guide In a relationship, but wondering if you should leave? → Begin the Red Flag Learning Path to recognize trauma-driven patterns and rebuild your inner compass toward love that doesn't hurt. https://cptsdmedicine.com/red-flag-checklist Just been broken up with and need answers to feel sane again? → Explore the "Why Is This Happening to Me?" Study for clarity, validation, and grounded relief after heartbreak. https://cptsdmedicine.com/why-is-this-happening Thinking your career is hurting your love life? → Start the Overachiever's Audit Study — a 10-minute self-reflection to see where achievement has become protection and how it may be blocking intimacy. https://cptsdmedicine.com/overachievers-audit Work With Tanner 1:1 - https://cptsdmedicine.com/services If this episode resonates and you're ready to heal your CPTSD at the root, learn more about Happily Ever After. About Dr. Tanner Wallace Dr. Tanner Wallace is a childhood trauma survivor, former university professor, and Level 3 Internal Family Systems Practitioner who specializes in CPTSD Resolution. She founded CPTSD Medicine to offer applied mental health training for high-achieving adults who want a clear, structured path to heal trauma at the root and stop repeating painful relationship patterns. About the Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner Podcast Heal First Then Pick Your Life Partner is a podcast for look-good-on-paper adults with unresolved CPTSD, anxious attachment, or repeated relationship pain. If you look confident on the outside but feel overwhelmed, confused, or ashamed by the patterns you cannot break, this podcast teaches you why. Each episode breaks down how trauma shapes your relationship choices, and offers practical, research-informed steps to heal at the root. Learn how to stop trauma-driven reactions, understand emotional flashbacks, build secure attachment, create healthier relationships, and finally feel safe inside your own system. Hosted by Dr. Tanner Wallace, PhD in Education and Level 3 Internal Family Systems practitioner, this podcast provides applied mental health training for adults who want clarity, stability, and a structured path to CPTSD Resolution. If you want to heal deeply, choose partners wisely, and build a life that feels secure and aligned, you are in the right place....
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    30 min
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