Épisodes

  • Mary’s Surrender (pt 2) and the Soul’s Two-Step with guest Jeanne Bill

    Mary’s Surrender (pt 2) and the Soul’s Two-Step with guest Jeanne Bill
    Dec 21 2025
    This episode of Marriage, Mayhem, and Mercy features a rich conversation with Jeanne Bill about Mary’s surrender in Luke 1 and what it looks like to live a surrendered life today. Jeanne traces Mary’s quiet “yes” through pregnancy, Jesus’ ministry, the cross, and beyond, showing us that surrender isn’t a one-time decision but a daily process of trusting God in uncertainty and suffering.Jeanne also shares her own journey of healing, describing how daily surrender has meant allowing herself to feel pain, releasing it to Jesus, and practicing radical forgiveness—toward others and toward herself. We talk about bitterness and the body, the example of Jesus and Stephen in forgiving their enemies, the story of Joseph, and what Jeanne calls the soul’s “two-step”: surrender and submission. The episode closes with practical encouragement for living with a kingdom mindset, seeing our work and relationships as part of God’s family business, and believing that our “yes” to God is significant long before we see the fruit.Summary In this episode, Tanja sits down with Jeanne Bill to explore Mary’s surrender in Luke 1 and how her “let it be to me according to your word” continued through Jesus’ lifetime of ministry and suffering. Jeanne shares how God invited her into a daily practice of surrender in her own story of pain, regret, and healing. They discuss the difference between stuffing emotions and feeling to heal, the spiritual and physical cost of unforgiveness, the example of Jesus and Stephen forgiving their enemies, and what it means to live with a kingdom mindset in ordinary work and family life. Jeanne introduces the image of the soul’s two-step—surrender and submission—and reminds listeners that they are not behind in who they are becoming. In This Episode, We Talk About: How Mary’s surrender in Luke 1 flowed into a lifetime of trusting God through suffering Why “If you don’t feel, you won’t heal” matters for emotional and spiritual health The connection between unforgiveness, bitterness, and the body (“bitterness rots the bones”) The examples of Jesus on the cross and Stephen’s stoning as models of radical forgiveness Joseph’s response to his brothers and the truth that vengeance belongs to God What is really behind the un-Biblical concept of “self-forgiveness” Jeanne’s image of the two-step dance with God: surrender and submission Seeing your work as part of God’s family business and trusting Him for provision Why you are not behind in your calling—your delay may be development, not denial Practical Takeaways Let yourself feel so you can heal. Bringing your pain, regret, anger, and fear into the light is part of daily surrender; numbing only delays healing. Name and release unforgiveness. If you still feel that knot in your stomach when you see someone, ask the Lord to show you where forgiveness is unfinished.
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  • Mary’s Surrender, Part 1: Saying “Yes, Lord” When Life Doesn’t Match the Call

    Mary’s Surrender, Part 1: Saying “Yes, Lord” When Life Doesn’t Match the Call
    Dec 14 2025
    In this episode of Marriage, Mayhem & Mercy, Tanja talks with nurse coach Jeanne Bill about Mary’s surrender in Luke 1 and what it means when God interrupts our carefully laid plans. Jeanne shares her journey from being a teenage mom on welfare to becoming a registered nurse and holistic nurse coach, and how God’s call on her life persisted through fear, limitation, and discouraging voices.Together, they explore how trauma is stored in the body, why healing must address spirit, soul, and body, and how Mary’s “yes” to God shows us a posture of trust when reality doesn’t match the promise. They also contrast Mary’s faith-filled question with Zechariah’s doubt, and imagine how Mary’s time in Elizabeth and Zechariah’s home quietly trained her in the power of words, surrender, and daily obedience.Mary’s Surrender, Part 1: Saying “Yes, Lord” When Life Doesn’t Match the Call Episode Summary In this episode, Tanja is joined by nurse coach Jeanne Bill to explore Mary’s surrender in Luke chapter 1. Jeanne shares her powerful testimony of being a teenage mom, facing academic insecurity and lack of support, and yet following God’s long-term invitation into nursing and holistic coaching. They talk about trauma stored in the body, how God often calls us in direct contradiction to our circumstances, and what it means to position our hearts to serve God’s purposes when our plans—and our reputations—are on the line. In This Episode, We Talk About: How Jeanne went from teenage mom on welfare to registered nurse and nurse coach. The way unhealed trauma can manifest as unexplained physical symptoms like migraines, chest pain, or stomach issues. Mary’s story in Luke 1 as a picture of God interrupting our plans with His purpose. The difference between Mary’s question (“How will this be?”) and Zechariah’s question—and why one was honored and the other was disciplined. How Mary’s stay in the home of Elizabeth and Zechariah may have shaped her understanding of the power of words, surrender, and daily trust. Practical Takeaways God’s invitations often contradict your circumstances. Feeling unqualified or under-resourced doesn’t mean you misheard God; it may mean He plans to show His strength in your weakness. Your body remembers what your mind tries to forget. If you’re experiencing chronic, unexplained symptoms, it may be wise to consider the impact of past trauma on your body and soul. Positioning your heart to serve God’s purpose starts with trust. Mary shows us what it looks like to say, “I am the Lord’s servant,” even when the path ahead is unclear. Your words matter. Zechariah’s silence and Mary’s quiet pondering remind us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak,” especially when doubt and fear are loud. Timing is part of calling. Jeanne’s 20-year journey to nursing school highlights that God’s call may be immediate, but His timing for fulfillment often unfolds slowly. Scripture Mentioned
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  • Rebuilding Trust After Porn: A Faithful Path for Wounded Marriages

    Rebuilding Trust After Porn: A Faithful Path for Wounded Marriages
    Dec 7 2025
    In this second half of the conversation, Tanja and certified sex addiction recovery coach Chris Grimbilas go deeper into the practical work of recovery from pornography and sexual betrayal. Chris explains why men often “trade addictions,” how healthy coping habits are formed, and why emotional awareness is essential for long-term healing. They discuss the role of confession in community, the difference between honesty and transparency, tools for identifying emotions, and the spiritual importance of asking God to reveal what’s happening inside the heart. Chris also addresses common myths and excuses surrounding pornography, explains why gaslighting and blame-shifting harm the marriage, and offers concrete next steps for anyone ready to begin recovery. The episode closes with encouragement, hope, and a prayer for couples walking this difficult road.Episode Summary In Part 2 of Tanja’s conversation with certified sex addiction recovery coach Chris Grimbilas, the focus turns to the practical steps men must take to move from secrecy into true recovery. Chris explains why men often replace one coping behavior with another, outlines the nine-step framework used in his 90-day recovery program, and emphasizes the spiritual and emotional work required to build new habits. He also offers tools for naming emotions, debunking myths about pornography, overcoming defensiveness, and taking responsibility for rebuilding trust. In This Episode Why men often “trade” one addiction or distraction for another Why new habits must replace unhealthy ones—and how to build them The three essential levels of communication: with yourself, with God, and with others Why confession must happen in safe community (James 5:16) The role of Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexaholics Anonymous (SA), and faith-based recovery programs How emotional recognition tools like a feelings wheel help men grow in empathy The spiritual importance of asking God to reveal what’s happening inside Common myths about pornography and the truths that dismantle them Gaslighting, excuses, and blame-shifting—and how they destroy trust Next steps for men and couples beginning the recovery journey Scriptures Mentioned James 5:16 – Confess your faults one to another Psalm 139:23–24 – “Search me, O God… know my heart” Proverbs 5 – Rejoice in the wife of your youth Song of Solomon – Joy, desire, and intimacy in marriage Job 31:1 (implied) – “I made a covenant with my eyes” Resources Chris Mentioned The Recovery Mindset – Free download Proclaim Liberty ...
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  • When Silence Speaks: Zechariah, Porn, and the First Steps Toward Healing

    When Silence Speaks: Zechariah, Porn, and the First Steps Toward Healing
    Nov 30 2025
    In this first part of the conversation, Tanja and certified sex addiction recovery coach Chris Grimbilas explore the deep “silence” surrounding pornography and sexual betrayal in Christian marriages. Chris shares how shame, fear, and a lack of safe, equipped support—especially in churches—leave many men and pastors suffering in secrecy while their wives feel blindsided and deeply betrayed. Drawing from Zechariah’s silence in Luke 1 and David’s confrontation over Bathsheba, he connects unbelief, lack of ownership, and isolation with being “struck silent” spiritually and emotionally. Together they unpack the need for men to take responsibility, pursue honest disclosure and accountability, and patiently rebuild trust drop by drop in the “trust bucket,” while honoring the way God designed men and women’s brains and emotional worlds differently.Episode Summary In this episode of Marriage, Mayhem & Mercy, Tanja talks with certified sex addiction recovery coach and mental health advocate Chris Grimbilas about the path beyond “digital adultery” and the painful silence that surrounds pornography and infidelity in Christian marriages. Chris shares his own journey, explains why so many men and pastors feel trapped and unable to speak, and connects their experience to Zechariah’s silence in Luke 1 and David’s repentance after Bathsheba. He unpacks why men often feel voiceless in the recovery process, why wives experience pornography as real betrayal, and how rebuilding trust is a long-term process of consistent honesty, transparency, and emotional safety. In This Episode, We Talk About: The staggering percentage of men in the church struggling with unwanted sexual behavior Why shame keeps men silent and why many pastors feel unequipped—and often compromised themselves The difference between confession, honesty, and transparency How Zechariah’s unbelief and silence (Luke 1) parallels the inner silence of men who can’t see a way out How the story of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11–12) models biblical support and accountability Why wives experience pornography as betrayal and “digital adultery,” not a minor issue The image of the “trust bucket”—how it’s emptied in a moment and refilled slowly over years How God designed men and women’s brains differently—and how that impacts communication and healing Scripture References Mentioned Luke 1 – Zechariah’s silence and obedience in naming John 2 Samuel 11–12 – David, Bathsheba, and Nathan’s confrontation (“You are the man”) Proverbs 5–7 (implied) – The “strange woman” and warnings against adultery Next Steps: Connect with Chris:If you or someone you love is struggling with pornography or sexual betrayal, reach out to Chris through his website for Christ-centered support and coaching.➤ https://proclaimliberty.org
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  • The Anatomy of Thank You with Henry Nwaneri

    The Anatomy of Thank You with Henry Nwaneri
    Nov 23 2025
    Henry unpacks gratitude as a posture that acknowledges dependence and creates access. A genuine “thank you” admits, “What you gave made possible what I could not do.” This episode reframes gratitude as the spiritual and relational mechanism that bonds us to God and opens us to more of Him.Here are your links: Subscribe to the Messy Families, Faithful God newsletter. Join the Faithful Families Free Community on Facebook. SummaryHenry unpacks gratitude as a posture that acknowledges dependence and creates access. A genuine “thank you” admits, “What you gave made possible what I could not do.” This episode reframes gratitude as the spiritual and relational mechanism that bonds us to God and opens us to more of Him. In This Episode The “Anatomy of Thank You”: what a real thank you actually says Why gratitude creates relationship—and how to “cash it in” for the gospel “Face vs. Hand”: seeking the Giver over the gifts Faith as the foundation of gratitude (Thomas, John 20) “Counting small things” so the big things “land on their own” Practical Takeaways Rewrite your next “thank you” using Henry’s formula: “Without what you gave, I couldn’t have ______. Because you did, I can ______.” Begin prayer by adoring God’s face (character) before asking for His hand (provision). Keep a “small mercies” list for one week; review it out loud before bed. Scripture Mentioned John 20:29 (Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed) Psalm 116:12–13 (“What shall I return to the Lord… I will lift up the cup…”) Luke 15 (Prodigal Son—face vs. hand) About the GuestPastor Henry Nwaneri is a global minister, author, and worshipper. Books and music available on Amazon, Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube. Next EpisodePart 3 (Bonus): Gratitude That Heals Homes—practical application for marriages, parenting, and everyday repair, plus a powerful prayer over listeners.
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  • The Wilderness Within (Part 2): Rewiring the Heart with Scripture, Beauty, and Practice

    The Wilderness Within (Part 2): Rewiring the Heart with Scripture, Beauty, and Practice
    Nov 13 2025
    In this continuation of “The Wilderness Within,” Tanja and Jess unpack the how of healing. They discuss the role of Scripture in renewing the mind, the importance of daily repetition, and how curiosity, beauty, and gratitude can help rewire trauma-based thinking. Jess introduces practices such as personalized Scripture reading, morning truth statements, and keeping an evidence journal to track God’s goodness.The conversation ends with a message of hope—God is always doing a new thing, even in the wilderness.Summary In this continuation of “The Wilderness Within,” Tanja and Jess unpack the how of healing. They discuss the role of Scripture in renewing the mind, the importance of daily repetition, and how curiosity, beauty, and gratitude can help rewire trauma-based thinking. Jess introduces practices such as personalized Scripture reading, morning truth statements, and keeping an evidence journal to track God’s goodness. The conversation ends with a message of hope—God is always doing a new thing, even in the wilderness. In This Episode Using Scripture to rewire the brain and ground the heart in truth Why you don’t have to “clean yourself up” to come before God How to personalize Scripture for prayer and healing The power of repetition, emotion, and daily morning practices What it means to keep an Evidence Journal of God’s faithfulness “Beauty hunting” as a spiritual practice for trauma recovery How practicing new responses rewires old habits Finding hope when you can’t yet feel God’s presence Practical Takeaways Personalize God’s Word: Replace “you” with “me” or insert family names when praying Scripture to help it reach the heart. Morning Moments: Right after waking, pray or read truth statements while your mind is most receptive. Keep an Evidence Journal: Record moments of grace, answered prayers, and progress—proof of God’s goodness in daily life. Beauty Hunt: Set aside time to notice beauty—a walk, a song, a sunset—as a way to retrain your mind toward awe instead of fear. Practice the New: Healing takes repetition; small, consistent steps create lasting change. Scripture Mentioned Philippians 1:6 – “He who began a good work in you will complete it.” Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Isaiah 43:19 – “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” Resources:...
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