Can we let people—especially the ones we care about most—chart their own path? What about when we think they're making a mistake?

In this part 2 episode, Jeanette returns to examine how the same leadership patterns she’s untangling in her role at work are playing out at home—with her son, her daughter-in-law, and her husband. What starts as a family conflict becomes a raw reckoning with expectations, identity, and the cost of clinging to an ideal instead of truly seeing people.

Ideas we explore:

01:15 — When stepping in to help actually gets in the way

04:10 — How the ideal in your head is sabotaging your relationships

07:00 — It isn't love when it's about you

15:00 — Clinging to being right makes connection impossible

21:50 — Your mindset shapes every relationship you touch

28:00 — The courage it takes to truly see and acknowledge others

Have a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here!

Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.

Are your efforts to be helpful actually helpful? And when you step in, is it because your team needs your help or because you need to feel needed? If you’ve ever used the word helpful to describe yourself, this episode is for you.

Because in this raw coaching session, Jeanette—a former teacher turned HR director—works with her Arbinger coach, Mitch Warner, to confront how her well-intended desire to support her principals is preventing them from owning their work. What starts as a conversation about time management becomes a deeper reckoning with control, avoidance, and the leadership cost of doing for others what you should be developing them to do on their own.

Ideas we explore:

01:15 — It’s not a time problem...it’s a “doing too much” problem.

03:40 — The most “helpful” leaders often create the biggest bottlenecks.

08:50 — Not giving tough feedback protects comfort but prevents growth.

13:20 — Stepping in communicates a lack of trust in your team.

17:40 — Fixing everything turns you into the only one who can fix anything.

26:00 — The need to feel helpful is quietly undermining your leadership.

 Have a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here!

Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.

How do you build a team that doesn’t sit around waiting for instructions? What if your people knew exactly what to do, even when the plan changed and you weren’t in the room to explain it?

This episode explores the tension between roles that demand split-second precision and those where ambiguity is the norm. McKinlay Otterson talks with Carey Jones, former Flying Training Wing Vice Commander at Laughlin Air Force Base and retired fighter pilot, and Brad Harker, a senior sales leader, about what it really takes to drive clarity, alignment, and high performance even when the feedback loop is slow and the outcomes aren’t obvious.

Questions we answer:

02:52 – How do you drive performance when your role has no clear feedback loop?

07:13 – How can leaders productively leverage subjectivity and interpretation?

08:30 – How do you know if your team is actually having the impact you intend?

14:37 – What does it take to create clarity without micromanaging?

19:32 – What happens when strategy lacks clear measures of success?

23:00 – What does it look like to execute on commander’s intent in business?

 Have a leadership challenge or question you’d like us to explore on the show? Submit it here!

Need help developing your leaders or organization? Schedule a complimentary strategy session.