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Love Thy Neighbor Show

Love Thy Neighbor Show

Auteur(s): Tom Vann Dan Dennis and Colette Fehr
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À propos de cet audio

 Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom's 20-year marriage, Dan's 15-year marriage, and Colette's second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.2025 Développement personnel Hygiène et mode de vie sain Psychologie Psychologie et santé mentale Réussite
Épisodes
  • LTN 11 - Communicate

    LTN 11 - Communicate
    Dec 11 2025

    • Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain
    • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection
    • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles
    • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring
    • Relearning enjoyment away from devices
    • Emotional lift after spending real time with family
    • Effort required to engage in shared activities
    • Easy entry games and "adult parallel play" options like pottery, climbing, walking
    • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time
    • Casual family outings like parks, markets, and food halls
    • Scheduling pauses to avoid being consumed by chores
    • Rejecting holiday perfectionism in favor of meaningful moments
    • Memories shaped by shared experiences, not tasks
    • Traditions like driving to see Christmas lights; nostalgia for older displays
    • Local light events as simple holiday fun
    • Reducing pressure with easier meal choices and clearer communication
    • Asking guests what they want to talk about to spark genuine conversations
    • Choosing activities people actually want, honoring diverse traditions
    • Traveling for family obligations and maintaining positive ties with ex-in-laws
    • Modeling healthy relationships and blended family dynamics for kids
    • Showing kids that emotional expression is normal and healthy
    • Challenging traditional male conditioning around emotions
    • Using communication tools to balance expression with appropriate containment
    • Pausing to regulate emotions and "measure" their priority
    • Validating feelings as signals about needs
    • Exploring emotions with curiosity instead of fear
    • Humor and gambling used as contrasts for emotional decision-making
    • Childhood lack of control shaping adult emotional habits
    • Fear of being overwhelmed by emotions; learning they subside when felt
    • Many adults never learned safe emotional expression
    • Vulnerability deepening connection
    • Admitting stress in professional settings to create honesty
    • Using exaggerated emotion manipulatively in negotiations
    • Joke about trying to "mold" a partner rather than treating them as equal
    • Holiday romance movies creating unrealistic expectations
    • "Emotional pornography" and other idealized social-media extremes
    • Social comparison damaging self-worth
    • Listener email tease: feeling treated like a child instead of a teammate
    • Feeling infantilized by constant correction and nitpicking
    • Addressing issues individually with calm "I feel" statements
    • Partners often unaware they sound critical until told gently
    • Vulnerability inviting empathy and appreciation
    • Workplace analogy: problems persist without direct communication
    • Fear-driven assumptions blocking honest expression of needs
    • Wizard of Oz analogy: solutions simpler when people communicate
    • Clear, kind communication resolving issues more than expected
    • Promotion for The Cost of Quiet, including pre-orders, audiobook, VIP launch, and live podcast details

    ###

    • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
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    45 min
  • LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce

    LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
    Dec 4 2025
    • Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette's relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel's stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants' struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City's continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant modern exposure • Performative relationship presentation and couples divorcing despite appearing perfect • "Gray divorce" trend among people 50+ • Rising gray-divorce rates while overall divorce rates fall • Causes of gray divorce: growing apart, empty nest, long-term unhappiness • Women initiating most divorces due to increased independence • Less tolerance for unhealthy or abusive long-term relationships • Women leaving disconnected marriages after decades of misery • Some couples staying miserable for years • Personal gratitude for having healthier parental models • Possibility of fixing issues before reaching gray-divorce age • Older couples' grumpiness as an "act" rather than true misery • Enmeshment, codependency, and low-grade unhappiness in long marriages • Changing expectations around marriage and desire for deeper connection • Settling vs. actively improving a relationship • Negativity being easier than expressing affection • Relationships needing intentional effort and kindness • Debate of repairing a relationship vs. starting over • Mutual effort, communication, vulnerability, and appreciation • Recognizing when only one partner is doing the work • Personal growth as the first step toward repairing issues • Listener emails about empty-nester fears • Encouraging open conversations about the transition • Validating both excitement and fear as bonding opportunities • Joke about having another baby and related risks • Habitual lateness in friendships and dating • Whether chronic lateness can change • Lateness seen as inconsiderate and selfish • Emotional impact of others being late • Adults' responsibility to respect others' time • Predictable lateness patterns and communicating boundaries • Importance of notifying others when running late • Lateness signaling someone's time isn't valued • Anecdotes about partners who avoid being early • Intent vs. impact in lateness • Hurt caused by repeated lateness despite requests • Deciding whether to keep making plans with late people • Debate over giving slack vs. upholding values • Being on time as a personal identity • Using buffer time to stay punctual • Setting boundaries around lateness • Listener praise for the show • Question about poetry in modern dating • Party with an on-demand love-poem writer • Gay social events with creative entertainment • Fundraiser with themed performers in every room • Gay friends throwing more elaborate parties • Adults enjoying whimsical activities like face painting • Decline of poetry in dating • Nostalgia for romantic gestures like custom poems • Writing poems or symbolic gifts as romance • "Key to my heart" car-key gesture example • Romantic vulnerability appreciated when interest is mutual • Making a bound book of poems after divorce • Embarrassment over past over-the-top gestures • Feeling previous partners didn't value romantic efforts • Pulling back romantically after negative past experiences • Romantic gestures fading in long relationships but still meaningful • Listeners relating to giving up on effort after lack of appreciation • Love languages shaping what gestures matter • Suspicion of grand gestures when out of character • Big gifts perceived as guilt • Preference for small, thoughtful gestures • Bringing home garden flowers as simple affection • Tailoring gestures to the relationship • Thoughtfulness mattering more than format • Writing a poem for a partner after a parent's death • Partner framing the poem as a keepsake • Dark humor in personal writing • Acts of service like cleaning a partner's car • Love languages lacking scientific validation but still useful • Balancing effort across work, parenting, marriage, and self-care • Partner needs often neglected when overwhelmed • "Quiet quitting" relationships through emotional neglect • Disconnection leading to gray-divorce or roommate-style marriages • Value of small daily acts of presence • Five-minute check-ins to maintain connection • Quality time over quantity • Phones and mobile games interfering with relationships • Avoiding relationship effort similar to avoiding exercise • Small daily actions rebuilding habits and connection • "No time" as an excuse; micro-commitments help • Encouraging a few minutes of ...
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    46 min
  • LTN 9 - The Bird Theory

    LTN 9 - The Bird Theory
    Nov 20 2025
    • Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson's age confusion • Introduction of the online "Bird Theory" test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman's "bids for connection" explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction • Bids are small attempts to connect, not about literal topics • Importance of responding even when uninterested • Ping-pong analogy for communication • Sharing memes, sports, or small moments as valid bids • Ignoring bids due to distraction or overload • Emotional harm from consistently missed bids • Healthy couples turn toward bids about 86% of the time • Harmful dismissive responses highlighted • Context affecting how humor or timing lands • Supporting a partner's unrelated interests • Overwhelming feeling of family members sending constant bids • Fear of hurting loved ones by not responding • Parent-child responsiveness applied to spouses • Spouses feeling de-prioritized next to children • Challenges in blended families and differing loyalties • Listener email expressing gratitude for the show • Joke about putting the show behind a paywall • Introduction of "retroactive jealousy" question • Retroactive jealousy defined as fixation on a partner's past • Normalizing jealousy but focusing on how it's handled • Rumination triggered by hearing about an ex • Differentiating insecurity from internal anxiety • Strategy of acknowledging emotions without shaming • Wondering why a partner often mentions an ex • Dismissing humorous "exposure therapy" ideas • Past-reference context in blended families • Sudden jealousy sparks in long relationships • Jealousy isn't the problem—behaviors are • Past betrayals and personality traits shaping jealousy • Acceptable to address repeated ex mentions calmly • Irrational jealousy about teenage events resurfacing • Watching old VHS tapes and feeling disconnected from past selves • Exploring why old incidents still sting • Jealousy sometimes signaling a need for reassurance • Limited dating histories magnifying past details • Young relationships evolving into adult ones • Encouragement to ask compassionate questions • Fear that discussing issues could "unravel" the relationship • Recurring infidelity dreams indicating insecurity • Question about when to show aggression publicly • Concern over being labeled a "Karen/Kyle" • Aggression rejected; assertiveness encouraged • Example of respectful assertiveness when correcting mistakes • Story of confronting a line-cutter who was blind • Story of confronting a smoker who was a little person • Risk of situations escalating or going viral • Critique of fight-for-honor culture • Mixed reactions to someone flirting with a spouse • Some wanting mild jealousy as proof of care • Jealousy not equal to love • Partners vary in territorial feelings • Email from a woman whose relationship began as a work affair • Agreement delaying introductions to his kids for two years becoming 15 • Missing major family events due to exclusion • Partner shutting down whenever it's discussed • Kids possibly resenting the affair • Avoidance being harmful regardless of the kids' stance • Distinguishing kid acceptance issues from partner communication issues • Avoidance giving short-term relief but long-term damage • Need for open talk about shame, loyalty, and exclusion • Theme of the therapist's book: the cost of avoidance • Promotion of "The Cost of Quiet" and preorder bonuses • Promotion of the Dec. 3 "Pitch a Friend" event • Event format: three-minute friend pitches • Event is free or low cost • Previous events included all ages and red-flag/green-flag games • Listeners asking if Colette will attend Beer Fest • Confirmation she will be there • Invitation for listeners to meet her at the Beer Fest • Peanuts-style "advice 5¢" joke • Joke about giving advice for an email address • Colette excited to meet listeners at both events • Closing note that they'll see listeners next week ### Social Media:
https://tomanddan.com/ | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/...
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    48 min
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