Épisodes

  • LTN 11 - Communicate

    LTN 11 - Communicate
    Dec 11 2025

    • Holiday stress, polarized feelings, and relationship strain
    • Simplifying expectations and focusing on connection
    • Intentional family time and low-effort activities like games and puzzles
    • Screen overstimulation making simple activities feel boring
    • Relearning enjoyment away from devices
    • Emotional lift after spending real time with family
    • Effort required to engage in shared activities
    • Easy entry games and "adult parallel play" options like pottery, climbing, walking
    • Bonding without constant conversation; Florida weather enabling outdoor time
    • Casual family outings like parks, markets, and food halls
    • Scheduling pauses to avoid being consumed by chores
    • Rejecting holiday perfectionism in favor of meaningful moments
    • Memories shaped by shared experiences, not tasks
    • Traditions like driving to see Christmas lights; nostalgia for older displays
    • Local light events as simple holiday fun
    • Reducing pressure with easier meal choices and clearer communication
    • Asking guests what they want to talk about to spark genuine conversations
    • Choosing activities people actually want, honoring diverse traditions
    • Traveling for family obligations and maintaining positive ties with ex-in-laws
    • Modeling healthy relationships and blended family dynamics for kids
    • Showing kids that emotional expression is normal and healthy
    • Challenging traditional male conditioning around emotions
    • Using communication tools to balance expression with appropriate containment
    • Pausing to regulate emotions and "measure" their priority
    • Validating feelings as signals about needs
    • Exploring emotions with curiosity instead of fear
    • Humor and gambling used as contrasts for emotional decision-making
    • Childhood lack of control shaping adult emotional habits
    • Fear of being overwhelmed by emotions; learning they subside when felt
    • Many adults never learned safe emotional expression
    • Vulnerability deepening connection
    • Admitting stress in professional settings to create honesty
    • Using exaggerated emotion manipulatively in negotiations
    • Joke about trying to "mold" a partner rather than treating them as equal
    • Holiday romance movies creating unrealistic expectations
    • "Emotional pornography" and other idealized social-media extremes
    • Social comparison damaging self-worth
    • Listener email tease: feeling treated like a child instead of a teammate
    • Feeling infantilized by constant correction and nitpicking
    • Addressing issues individually with calm "I feel" statements
    • Partners often unaware they sound critical until told gently
    • Vulnerability inviting empathy and appreciation
    • Workplace analogy: problems persist without direct communication
    • Fear-driven assumptions blocking honest expression of needs
    • Wizard of Oz analogy: solutions simpler when people communicate
    • Clear, kind communication resolving issues more than expected
    • Promotion for The Cost of Quiet, including pre-orders, audiobook, VIP launch, and live podcast details

    ###

    • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive
• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/
• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/
• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
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    45 min
  • LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce

    LTN 10 - The Gray-Divorce
    Dec 4 2025
    • Low-effort vs. high-effort Thanksgiving experiences • Colette's relaxed holiday without her kids • Daniel's stressful Thanksgiving towing multiple vehicles • Different family traditions and conflicting holiday desires • Two opposing feelings about an experience both being valid • Giants' struggles, game mishaps, and kicker issues • Annoyance at Kansas City's continued success and Cowboys rivalry • Social media comparison culture affecting relationships • Pressure from idealized online portrayals vs. real life • Comparison in the past (holiday cards) vs. constant modern exposure • Performative relationship presentation and couples divorcing despite appearing perfect • "Gray divorce" trend among people 50+ • Rising gray-divorce rates while overall divorce rates fall • Causes of gray divorce: growing apart, empty nest, long-term unhappiness • Women initiating most divorces due to increased independence • Less tolerance for unhealthy or abusive long-term relationships • Women leaving disconnected marriages after decades of misery • Some couples staying miserable for years • Personal gratitude for having healthier parental models • Possibility of fixing issues before reaching gray-divorce age • Older couples' grumpiness as an "act" rather than true misery • Enmeshment, codependency, and low-grade unhappiness in long marriages • Changing expectations around marriage and desire for deeper connection • Settling vs. actively improving a relationship • Negativity being easier than expressing affection • Relationships needing intentional effort and kindness • Debate of repairing a relationship vs. starting over • Mutual effort, communication, vulnerability, and appreciation • Recognizing when only one partner is doing the work • Personal growth as the first step toward repairing issues • Listener emails about empty-nester fears • Encouraging open conversations about the transition • Validating both excitement and fear as bonding opportunities • Joke about having another baby and related risks • Habitual lateness in friendships and dating • Whether chronic lateness can change • Lateness seen as inconsiderate and selfish • Emotional impact of others being late • Adults' responsibility to respect others' time • Predictable lateness patterns and communicating boundaries • Importance of notifying others when running late • Lateness signaling someone's time isn't valued • Anecdotes about partners who avoid being early • Intent vs. impact in lateness • Hurt caused by repeated lateness despite requests • Deciding whether to keep making plans with late people • Debate over giving slack vs. upholding values • Being on time as a personal identity • Using buffer time to stay punctual • Setting boundaries around lateness • Listener praise for the show • Question about poetry in modern dating • Party with an on-demand love-poem writer • Gay social events with creative entertainment • Fundraiser with themed performers in every room • Gay friends throwing more elaborate parties • Adults enjoying whimsical activities like face painting • Decline of poetry in dating • Nostalgia for romantic gestures like custom poems • Writing poems or symbolic gifts as romance • "Key to my heart" car-key gesture example • Romantic vulnerability appreciated when interest is mutual • Making a bound book of poems after divorce • Embarrassment over past over-the-top gestures • Feeling previous partners didn't value romantic efforts • Pulling back romantically after negative past experiences • Romantic gestures fading in long relationships but still meaningful • Listeners relating to giving up on effort after lack of appreciation • Love languages shaping what gestures matter • Suspicion of grand gestures when out of character • Big gifts perceived as guilt • Preference for small, thoughtful gestures • Bringing home garden flowers as simple affection • Tailoring gestures to the relationship • Thoughtfulness mattering more than format • Writing a poem for a partner after a parent's death • Partner framing the poem as a keepsake • Dark humor in personal writing • Acts of service like cleaning a partner's car • Love languages lacking scientific validation but still useful • Balancing effort across work, parenting, marriage, and self-care • Partner needs often neglected when overwhelmed • "Quiet quitting" relationships through emotional neglect • Disconnection leading to gray-divorce or roommate-style marriages • Value of small daily acts of presence • Five-minute check-ins to maintain connection • Quality time over quantity • Phones and mobile games interfering with relationships • Avoiding relationship effort similar to avoiding exercise • Small daily actions rebuilding habits and connection • "No time" as an excuse; micro-commitments help • Encouraging a few minutes of ...
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    46 min
  • LTN 9 - The Bird Theory

    LTN 9 - The Bird Theory
    Nov 20 2025
    • Audience enjoying the relationship show • Reminder to leave reviews on Apple Podcasts and Spotify • More relationship content appearing in social media feeds • Noting that consuming relationship content can boost awareness • Contrast between relationship-focused and random algorithm feeds • Brief joke about Hezbollah/Hezzy and Mike Tyson's age confusion • Introduction of the online "Bird Theory" test • Example of a staged bird video illustrating the concept • Gottman's "bids for connection" explained • Turning toward bids linked to long-term satisfaction • Bids are small attempts to connect, not about literal topics • Importance of responding even when uninterested • Ping-pong analogy for communication • Sharing memes, sports, or small moments as valid bids • Ignoring bids due to distraction or overload • Emotional harm from consistently missed bids • Healthy couples turn toward bids about 86% of the time • Harmful dismissive responses highlighted • Context affecting how humor or timing lands • Supporting a partner's unrelated interests • Overwhelming feeling of family members sending constant bids • Fear of hurting loved ones by not responding • Parent-child responsiveness applied to spouses • Spouses feeling de-prioritized next to children • Challenges in blended families and differing loyalties • Listener email expressing gratitude for the show • Joke about putting the show behind a paywall • Introduction of "retroactive jealousy" question • Retroactive jealousy defined as fixation on a partner's past • Normalizing jealousy but focusing on how it's handled • Rumination triggered by hearing about an ex • Differentiating insecurity from internal anxiety • Strategy of acknowledging emotions without shaming • Wondering why a partner often mentions an ex • Dismissing humorous "exposure therapy" ideas • Past-reference context in blended families • Sudden jealousy sparks in long relationships • Jealousy isn't the problem—behaviors are • Past betrayals and personality traits shaping jealousy • Acceptable to address repeated ex mentions calmly • Irrational jealousy about teenage events resurfacing • Watching old VHS tapes and feeling disconnected from past selves • Exploring why old incidents still sting • Jealousy sometimes signaling a need for reassurance • Limited dating histories magnifying past details • Young relationships evolving into adult ones • Encouragement to ask compassionate questions • Fear that discussing issues could "unravel" the relationship • Recurring infidelity dreams indicating insecurity • Question about when to show aggression publicly • Concern over being labeled a "Karen/Kyle" • Aggression rejected; assertiveness encouraged • Example of respectful assertiveness when correcting mistakes • Story of confronting a line-cutter who was blind • Story of confronting a smoker who was a little person • Risk of situations escalating or going viral • Critique of fight-for-honor culture • Mixed reactions to someone flirting with a spouse • Some wanting mild jealousy as proof of care • Jealousy not equal to love • Partners vary in territorial feelings • Email from a woman whose relationship began as a work affair • Agreement delaying introductions to his kids for two years becoming 15 • Missing major family events due to exclusion • Partner shutting down whenever it's discussed • Kids possibly resenting the affair • Avoidance being harmful regardless of the kids' stance • Distinguishing kid acceptance issues from partner communication issues • Avoidance giving short-term relief but long-term damage • Need for open talk about shame, loyalty, and exclusion • Theme of the therapist's book: the cost of avoidance • Promotion of "The Cost of Quiet" and preorder bonuses • Promotion of the Dec. 3 "Pitch a Friend" event • Event format: three-minute friend pitches • Event is free or low cost • Previous events included all ages and red-flag/green-flag games • Listeners asking if Colette will attend Beer Fest • Confirmation she will be there • Invitation for listeners to meet her at the Beer Fest • Peanuts-style "advice 5¢" joke • Joke about giving advice for an email address • Colette excited to meet listeners at both events • Closing note that they'll see listeners next week ### Social Media:
https://tomanddan.com/ | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/...
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    48 min
  • LTN 8 - Cutoffs

    LTN 8 - Cutoffs
    Nov 13 2025
    • Live launch of "A Corporate Time with Tom and Dan" on Twitch and YouTube • Promotion of free Bad at Business Beerfest (Nov 22) and Sofas and Suds couch races (Nov 23) in Sanford • Both events are free, family-friendly, and include unlimited beer samples for 21+ • "Weird Job Wednesday" debuts with guest Amy Kaufeldt from Fox 35 • Amy shares her childhood dream of spaceflight and how the Challenger disaster changed her goals • Found passion for writing, studied journalism at Miami University of Ohio • Early unpaid radio work at NPR station WMUB; enjoyed radio's relaxed pace • Transitioned from radio to TV through NBC internships in Ohio; learned sales made more than on-air talent • Accepted first TV job in Great Falls, Montana, for $18K; learned budgeting and lived modestly • Covered Unabomber arrest as first major breaking story; called early years her "media boot camp" • Promoted to main anchor without a raise; typed scripts on typewriters and timed segments manually • Reflected that early grind built confidence and skill • Compared early technical work to today's automation, saying new journalists miss foundational skills • Discussed handling online criticism and "keyboard warriors"; shared story of viewer apologizing for rude comment • Mentioned balance between robotic presentation and human connection on air • Described seven-hour Fox 35 morning show, expanding from three hours since 2003 • Detailed hurricane coverage shifts, lack of sleep quarters, and constant updates • Explained teleprompter focus and staying authentic during serious stories like Casey Anthony trial • Shared story connecting puppy born without a paw to a family with a limb difference; became therapy dog "Charlie Tri" • Reflected on community impact and importance of compassion in local news • Mentioned station renovation chaos—lost internet and live shots during broadcasts • Noted female anchors face appearance criticism; prefers prepping at home to stay ready • Described field reporting risks: danger, exhaustion, harassment • Noted pay disparities across markets; few anchors become wealthy • Discussed influencer hires and decline of passion-driven journalism • Praised for professionalism and longevity; jokes about "Love Thy Neighbor" six-second kiss • Interview with comedian George Wallace performing at Orlando Funny Bone with Amy LeCours opening • Wallace recalls 49-year career with Seinfeld, jokes about being his "kids' father" • Talks shift from TV to social media comedy—"funny is still funny" • Emphasizes work ethic, travel life, and joy of live audiences • Promotes new show "Clean Slate," jokes second show is funnier because he's "naked" • Shares love for ice cream, weight-gain resolution, and "four L's"—learning, listening, loving, laughing • Encourages Tom and Dan to try stand-up; signs off with "I love you, nothing you can do about it" • Hosts praise Wallace's energy and liken him to a comedic Michael Jordan • Light talk on Wendy's nostalgia—spicy chicken peak, "Biggie" brand loss, fast food decline • Notes Wendy's sales down 5%, revenue $1.63B; reflects on inflation and quality drop • Misses dollar menus and quirky architecture like Alamo-style Taco Bells • Shifts to Rob Dyrdek discussion—critiques his self-help "wait list" marketing as cultish but disciplined • Notes grind addiction, unrealistic motivational tone, and monetized positivity • Compares Dyrdek to Tony Robbins; respect for his structure but dislike for gimmicks • Listener voicemail revives "white van speaker scam" story from 2000s • Dan recalls buying "Blue Rhino" speakers in college—real brand, not propane • Paid $110; they worked fine and lasted years • Debate whether scam is truly fraud or just markup resale • Reflection that working products made it feel like a fair deal • Closing thought: scams persist because "there's always a chance" • Show wrap-up and sign-off ### Social Media:
https://tomanddan.com/ | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive Where to Find the Show:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/ The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/ Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration
Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
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    49 min
  • LTN 7 - The Online Dating Disconnect

    LTN 7 - The Online Dating Disconnect
    Nov 6 2025

    • Launch of "Love Thy Neighbor" with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fehr
    • Banter about walking to Publix and Colette teasing Dan
    • Colette attends "Pitch a Friend" Orlando dating event and explains its PowerPoint pitch format
    • Discussion of dating app burnout, swipe fatigue, and loss of real connection
    • Colette's "Red Flag or Green Flag" game and insights on in-person chemistry
    • Jokes about people falling for the presenter instead of the friend pitched
    • Commentary on gendered dating perceptions and differing timelines
    • Emphasis on body language, vibe, and physical chemistry over screens
    • Comparison of "vibes" vs. science in attraction
    • Event at Gravity Tap Room; next one Dec 3 at Primrose Lanes (famous hot dogs)
    • Shift to sex talk and how men/women view dating motives differently
    • Dan values connection; Tom admits physical attraction drives men
    • Discussion of laughter as intimacy and thrill of early dating
    • Colette notes women often prefer emotional intimacy before sex
    • Ghosting and casual culture seen as emotionally damaging
    • Online dating breeds cynicism and "disposable" mindset
    • Digital judgment linked to low self-esteem and loneliness
    • Women face harsher appearance scrutiny; men struggle to show vulnerability
    • Conversation on male emotional suppression and biology-driven desire
    • Dating apps enable convenience over effort, leading to isolation or incel behavior
    • Men mocked for liking marriage; hosts defend partnership and family life
    • "Good partner > happy single > toxic relationship"
    • Example of friend thriving after self-work without a partner
    • Humans need connection; quality bonds improve longevity
    • Concerns about AI/robots replacing real relationships
    • Listener email: advice seems to blame men
    • Colette clarifies relationships are co-created; both share responsibility
    • Discussion of pursuer–withdrawer dynamics and mental load imbalance
    • Tips: team mindset, clear asks, "I" statements, avoid tit-for-tat
    • Men urged to state needs constructively and set boundaries
    • Example: request chores or phone-free dinners for reconnection
    • Partners show love by attending unexciting events for each other
    • Many men feel blamed; communication must be mindful, not reactive
    • Colette offers free communication scripts on her site
    • Emotional awareness isn't taught—requires effort and patience
    • Therapy reveals both partners need reflection and growth
    • Advice: express feelings without attacking or demanding change
    • Women often burn out from not feeling heard; checked-out partners rarely return
    • Most men prefer commitment once emotionally invested
    • Tom shares learning affection through small gestures like flowers
    • Upbringing made him reserved, but consistency built trust
    • Small daily acts strengthen connection over time
    • Colette praises Tom's effort and suggests habit-stacking affection
    • Gentle touch meets emotional needs and prevents "starvation"
    • Humor about forced hugs and awkward affection
    • Affection styles differ; goal is balance, not perfection
    • Colette urges small, steady contact—hand-holding or brief hugs
    • Joke about withholding affection as "emotional terrorism"
    • Reminder: send questions to Hello@LoveThyNeighborShow.com
    • Plug for Colette's book The Cost of Quiet and upcoming audiobook
    • Light banter and wrap-up about audiobooks and reading

    ###

    **Social Media:**
    [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive)

    **Where to Find the Show:**
    [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/)

    **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**
    [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/)

    **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration)
    **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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    46 min
  • LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever

    LTN 6 - Colette VS Whatever
    Oct 30 2025
    • "Love Thy Neighbor" with Dan, Tom, and therapist Colette • Colette's California media tour for her book • Colette appears on the controversial "Whatever" podcast • "Whatever" framed as alpha/anti-woke male genre • Critique of toxic masculinity and "men under attack" tropes • Other shows mock/analyze these alpha podcasts • Past "Whatever" guests include Charlie Kirk, Candace Owens • Secretive taping: last-minute address, security, metal detector • Overloaded studio: 9–16 mics; strict mic rules enforced • Tom's old-school gripe: too many open mics • OnlyFans model spotlighted; show leans on visual appeal • Colette cast as the feminist voice on the panel • Her therapist stance: note rare valid points, reject nonsense • Rage-baiting for clicks; deliberate provocation • Dan learned rage-bait radio with Ed Till; ethical doubts • Colette dragged for going on four dates in one day • Chivalry debate: who pays and for how long • Defense of casual "coffee dates" amid app fatigue • Host claims chivalry burdens men while demanding submission • Child-support and dating-expectations attacks on Colette • Narrative: young white men victimized and owed obedience • Popularity driven by true fans, not just hate-listeners • Red-pill framing; younger male pushback culture • "80% of women want 20% of men" stat challenged • "666" trope (six figures/feet/inches) reactions • Men's anger tied to rejection vs personal responsibility • Politics baked in; red/blue pill props on set • Show prints money; Colette still gets online backlash • Preference for real help over grievance-weaponizing • Why the audience is large: loneliness and resentment • Claims denying wage gap/minimizing violence deemed absurd • Panel self-ratings; no "7" rule; some rate very low • Colette self-rates: 9 for her age; 6 vs 20-year-olds • '90s shock-jock comparisons without the wit • Colette vs Alex Stein's "confidence = sex bait" jab • Rebuttal: confidence from life experience, not sex hunting • Call-out of sexism tying older women's value to desirability • Hosts profit from outrage and controversy • Howard Stern contrast: provocative yet self-aware/comedic • Red-pill appeal to disillusioned young men explained • Empathy for average men squeezed by online ideals • Men judged to be tall/rich/successful; women also objectified • Apps amplify superficiality, comparison, and loneliness • Both genders warped by algorithmic expectations • Real attraction grows via shared humor and real-world contact • Screen time erodes social skills and confidence • Many alpha hosts read as insecure/inexperienced • Brian Atlas cited as projecting frustration • Submissiveness/obedience rejected as outdated • If chivalry demands submission, decline it • Strong women valued; confident men welcome equals • Hosts' wives as assertive, capable partners • Balance independence with care-taking; avoid dependency • Strong partners still want to feel cared for • Healthy dynamic = mutual giving and receiving • Is oppression of women ongoing? Colette: yes; others: no • Sex work: agency vs oppression debated • "Men must protect women" expectation questioned under equality • Traditional roles still shape modern instincts • Beliefs formed by societal conditioning and generation • Manners vs obligation: kindness without transaction • Some men now demand trades for gestures—criticized • Example: fake "submissive ex" video to sway viewers • Jealousy fueling resentment toward non-submissive partners • Submission vs genuine care distinguished • Acts should come from love, not hierarchy • Mutual care ≠ loss of voice; submission does • Colette jokes her husband might prefer more "traditional" • 1950s domestic role bit (slippers, whiskey, pipe) • Do men secretly want traditional again? Depends • Global and personal preferences vary widely • Respect for independent, confident women who lead • Relationships should rest on choice and mutual respect • Nostalgia for the 1950s called unrealistic, media-made • Real mid-century marriages weren't TV fantasies • Grandfather's orphanage/WWII story: hardship breeds empathy • Past resilience vs today's victim mindsets in men's movements • Relief that Colette's appearance ended safely • Plug: The Cost of Quiet — preorder info • Contact: ColetteJaneFair.com; anonymous questions welcome • Like/subscribe; plan to tackle listener emails next episode ### **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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    45 min
  • LTN 5 - Outdated Relationship Myths

    LTN 5 - Outdated Relationship Myths
    Oct 23 2025

    • Introduction of "Love Thy Neighbor" with Colette Fehr
    • Discussion of recording schedule and Twitch/YouTube streams
    • Breakdown of seven relationship myths and modern realities
    • Myth 1: Compromise often means mutual loss—prioritize listening and connection
    • 69% of problems are unsolvable; focus on empathy, not victory
    • Use 1–10 scale to gauge partner priorities and set boundaries
    • Avoid people-pleasing; long-term avoidance kills authenticity
    • Myth 2: Open communication doesn't mean oversharing—filter strong emotions
    • Clarity before honesty prevents resentment and defensiveness
    • Humor and tone matter when giving feedback
    • Myth 3: Small stuff matters—minor hurts build into resentment
    • Direct, quick talks prevent emotional weight from piling up
    • Most therapy deals with small misunderstandings, not huge fights
    • Learn forgiveness; most conflicts come from misread intentions
    • Practice kind assertiveness—voice needs calmly and clearly
    • Myth 4: Intimacy doesn't fade—it evolves through vulnerability
    • Fear of rejection blocks sexual honesty; share fantasies openly
    • Timing and tone make difficult talks easier
    • Address libido issues with curiosity, therapy, and health focus
    • Recognize differing sexual rhythms and emotional needs
    • Maintaining novelty strengthens long-term desire
    • Myth 5: Chores or money don't break couples—disconnection does
    • Appreciation and communication outweigh perfection
    • Myth 6: Speaking up isn't conflict—it's clarity
    • Myth 7: "Never go to bed angry" is false—cool off before resolving
    • Emotional regulation and rest improve repair conversations
    • Promotion of Fehr's book *The Cost of Quiet* (colettejanefehr.com)
    • Invite listeners to email questions and subscribe for new episodes

    ###

    **Social Media:**
    [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive)

    **Where to Find the Show:**
    [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/)

    **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:**
    [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/)

    **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration)
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    45 min
  • LTN 4 - Navigating Breakups

    LTN 4 - Navigating Breakups
    Oct 16 2025
    • Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor and listener anonymity • Loveline-style approach to relationship advice • Divorce: emotional and financial toll, stigma, changing views • Hidden unhappiness in long marriages • Why people stay or leave relationships • Social media's impact on love, breakups, and jealousy • Deleting or keeping exes online; regret after erasing memories • Emotional recovery and boundaries with new partners • Growth through heartbreak and dating experience • Generational differences before social media • Keeping memories for children and history • Insecurity and jealousy over old photos • Attraction to emotionally intense partners • Insecurity and trauma behind jealousy • Communicating reassurance and setting boundaries • Humor about following exes or staying friends • Men vs women in post-breakup friendships • Breakups mirror grief and addiction withdrawal • Brain pain overlap: love loss and physical pain • Need for no contact and "starving the attachment" • Misleading social media images of exes' happiness • Healthy coping: self-focus, hobbies, support system • Negative coping: rebounds, substances, avoidance • All attachments heal with time and connection • Relationship addiction parallels substance abuse • Personal story: isolation from toxic partner • Learning from ignoring red flags, regret over choices • Should friends intervene in harmful relationships? • How to help: express care, respect, share concerns • Risks of judgment if couple reconciles • Listening over advice when friends struggle • Listener email: libido mismatch in marriage • Causes: stress, medication, trauma, poor communication • One-sided affection, avoidance of touch • Therapy access issues and long-term uncertainty • Common male-higher libido pattern • Start with honest talks about disconnection • Individual therapy helps but couples therapy better • Emotional reconnection boosts desire for many • Persistent mismatch may need other solutions • Women's desire often lower with age; explore intimacy variety • "Ways to cuddle" beyond sex; rebuild comfort • Cuddling linked to relationship satisfaction • Barriers: heat, bedding, menopause • Clarify touch doesn't always mean sex ("bristle effect") • Importance of nonsexual affection and lowered pressure • Humor about nonsexual touch confusion • Hormonal shifts and HRT improving libido • Testosterone's role in women's sexual well-being • Emotional intimacy key to lasting sexual health • Aging couples sustaining passion and connection • "Body count" topic and shifting language • Jealousy over partner's sexual past • Emotional maturity to separate past from present • Persistent double standards judging women • Younger generations less judgmental but stigma remains • Body count doesn't define worth or morality • Value of openness and health transparency • Honest STI testing, responsible dating culture • Infidelity experience shaping caution and honesty • Debate over privacy vs full disclosure • Acceptance that many don't know exact count • Reflection: honesty equals self-acceptance • Desire for unconditional love despite pasts • U.S. averages: women ~4–5, men ~6–7 partners • Surveys show exaggeration and underreporting • Cultural shame distorting sexual data • Past wild years unseen pre-social media • Misconceptions about others' sexual activity • Promotion of Colette Fehr's book The Cost of Quiet • Theme: tough talks build secure, lasting love • Reminder to email questions and subscribe ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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    44 min