Misogyny isn’t just something “other people” do. In this conversation, Becky and Taina unpack the invisible ways it shows up in our language, our friendships, our relationships, and even inside ourselves.

From judging women for wearing too much makeup to men who call women “females,” we explore the sneaky red flags we’ve normalized. And we get real about the internalized misogyny we all carry, even as feminists.

We also talk about gay male culture borrowing from Black women, the emotional labor of womanhood, and why calling women “crazy” is more dangerous than it sounds. This episode is a gut-check for anyone raised inside patriarchal systems (so, all of us).

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I being too hard on other women?” or “Why do I feel unsafe in rooms full of women who all look alike?”—this one’s for you.

Here's Becky's Thread that prompted this episode

Discussed in This Episode:

• What misogyny really is—and how it shows up beyond violence or hate
• The difference between external and internalized misogyny
• Everyday red flags in men’s behavior (even the “nice guys”)
• The harm of calling women “females” and judging women’s choices
• Why internalized misogyny makes us distrust or judge other women
• How queer spaces can reinforce misogyny—especially toward trans women
• Gay male culture and the unacknowledged borrowing from Black women
• The emotional and invisible labor women carry in families and work
• How grief, caretaking, and people-pleasing are gendered expectations
• Why it’s not “misandry” when women resist patriarchy
• Judging aesthetics like pink or plastic surgery as a feminist
• Why “all his exes are crazy” is a major red flag
• How internalized misogyny shapes what art, comedy, and leadership we value
• Building feminist friendships and communities that aren’t copy-paste
• What it really means to divest from patriarchy without hating femininity

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Polyamory isn’t what you think it is. In this episode of Messy Liberation, we sit down with Frances Crusoe to talk about ethical non-monogamy, what it really looks like in practice, and how she navigates parenting, faith, and family while living a polyamorous life. We tackle misconceptions (no, it’s not all orgies), explore how jealousy really works, and dig into the radical idea that love isn’t a finite resource. If you’ve ever wondered how polyamory intersects with feminism, religion, and raising kids, this one’s for you.

Discussed in this episode:

• Frances’s journey from church life to polyamory

• The difference between polyamory, polygamy, and ethical non-monogamy

• How she talks to her kids about multiple partners

• Deconstructing jealousy and religious conditioning

• Why consent and communication are the cornerstone of poly relationships

• Polyamory myths and misconceptions (and what’s actually true)

• The intersection of feminism, faith, and love

Resource mentioned:

• “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino: https://amzn.to/4mfzO2x

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Pedro Pascal’s red carpet style, Malcolm Jamal Warner’s tragic passing, and the chaos around the Epstein files — this episode of Messy Liberation goes everywhere at once. Becky Mollenkamp and Taina Brown dive into pop culture, politics, astrology, and messy real-life feminism with zero polish and plenty of swearing. From debating Pedro Pascal’s “daddy energy” and Leo season’s chaos to unpacking the Cosby Show legacy and the William McNeil police brutality video, they keep it bold, irreverent, and intersectional.

Discussed in this episode:

• Pedro Pascal’s red carpet moments and breaking masculinity norms
• Malcolm Jamal Warner’s drowning and the Cosby Show’s complicated legacy
• Dating strategically vs dating for love in your 20s
• Melania Trump and Kennedy Center renaming outrage
• Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein files, and MAGA conspiracies
• Police brutality and the William McNeil dashcam video
• Venus Williams’ comeback and U.S. health insurance issues
• Leo season, assertiveness vs aggression, and zodiac dynamics

Resource mentioned:

• William McNeil dashcam video (TW: police brutality)

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Ever feel superior for hating the mainstream? Same. In this episode of Messy Liberation, Becky and Taina dig into the hidden hierarchies we create when we judge popular culture, and how that feeds into white supremacy, fatphobia, and American exceptionalism. From YouTube vlogs and Hallmark movies to queer fanfiction and Audre Lorde, they explore how internalized systems show up in even our most frivolous pleasures. This is a funny, challenging, and honest convo about how true liberation means dismantling shit inside ourselves first—without killing joy in the process.

Discussed in this Episode

• Toxic traits around rejecting popular culture

• Fanfiction as a space for safety and creativity

• Hallmark’s evolving portrayal of queer characters

• Superiority complexes and gifted child syndrome

• Exceptionalism and American individualism

• Intersectional readings of pop culture (like Christmas in July)

• Fatphobia and anti-fat bias in medical systems

• Language policing and supremacy in grammar norms

• Audre Lorde’s ‘master’s tools’ and internalized systems

• How liberation work demands internal accountability

Resources Mentioned

• Ryan Trahan's 50 States in 50 Days YouTube Series

• St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

• "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" by Paulo Freire

• "The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House" by Audre Lorde

• Somebody Somewhere on HBO Max

• "An Actress of a Certain Age" by Jeff Hiller

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Grief is always in the room—and in this raw and powerful conversation, Becky and Taina explore the emotional weight of loss, anger, and what it means to truly feel your feelings. They unpack their personal experiences with recent death, the stigma around female rage, and why American culture is so broken when it comes to grief. From pet loss to patriarchal mindsets, they dive deep into the intersections of anger and grief, why somatic expression matters, and how caretaking roles often obscure our own needs. This episode is a tender reminder that grief and joy, anger and love, can—and do—coexist.

Discussed in this episode

• Why grief is always present—even when we don’t acknowledge it
• How female anger is suppressed (and why that’s dangerous)
• The myth of the angry Black woman
• Why anger and grief are somatic experiences, not just mental
• How American culture fails at grief
• The emotional labor of caretaking and parenting during loss
• Ways we gaslight ourselves through loss
• Visualization and embodiment practices for emotional release

Resources mentioned

• "Uses of Anger" by Audre Lorde
• The Emotions Wheel
• Bernadette Pleasant, The Emotional Institute
• "Patriarchy Stress Disorder" by Dr. Valerie Rein

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What if making art wasn’t about monetizing, optimizing, or gaining followers—but about freedom? In this episode, artist and writer Krishna Kayastha joins Becky and Taina to talk about reclaiming creativity from capitalism. From journaling to fanfic, motherhood to self-trust, Krishna shares her journey of redefining what it means to be an artist in a world that demands constant output and productivity.

They explore how hustle culture and girlboss messaging warped her creativity, why she stopped making art for money, and what it looks like to reclaim joy as a daily practice. She offers insights into how her habit tracking system, morning pages, and refusal to commodify everything have helped her stay rooted in her creative process—and why rest, fun, and fanfiction are deeply radical acts. This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with burnout, self-doubt, or wondering if it’s okay to just make art for art’s sake.

Krishna’s website | Ink Blots and Fragments on Spotify | Krishna's Substack

Discussed in this episode:

• Creative liberation beyond capitalism
• Using fanfiction as resistance and joy
• The emotional toll of monetizing your passion
• Habit tracking for personal data and self-trust
• The Artist’s Way and morning pages
• Finding boundaries between public and private art
• Self-permission to create without perfection
• Rest as resistance and lunch as liberation
• Krishna’s podcast Ink Blots and Fragments
• Her Habit Tracker journal

Resource mentioned:

• "The Artist’s Way" by Julia Cameron

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If you’ve ever wondered how a Harry Potter course can be a masterclass in teaching white supremacy, systemic oppression, and feminist critique—you’re gonna love this episode. We’re joined by Professor Julian Womble, who uses the Wizarding World to help his students explore the messy intersections of identity, power, and representation. We dig into fanfiction as reclamation, Hermione’s white savior complex, Lavender Brown’s erasure, and how to love problematic art without ignoring its dangers. Come for the Draco redemption arc, stay for the discussion on teaching critical consciousness through pop culture.

Prof. Julian Wamble (Womble), he/him, is an Assistant Professor of Political Science at George Washington University, where he teaches a popular class called Harry Potter & the Politics of Social Identity. He’s also the host of Critical Magic Theory podcast.

Tiktok: @profw | Instagram: @prof.jw

Discussed in this episode:

• Teaching white supremacy using Harry Potter
• Hermione’s white saviorism and gendered politics
• Fanfiction as a tool for social change
• The erasure and racism around Lavender Brown
• The problem with redemption arcs only for male characters
• Draco Malfoy as a projection for reform
• Why separating art from artist is dangerous
• Creating guides for conscientious readers
• How fanfiction rewrites justice and inclusivity

Fanfic etiquette:

• Fanfic is free; never buy or sell to protect the space and observe copyright and IP laws
• Observe the authors rules regarding sharing and personal binding
• We don’t rate or review fanfic; it’s a gift. If you don’t like a particular one simply DNF (do not finish) and move on
• Always, always leave a kudos or comment to show appreciation for the authors effort
• Don’t be an asshole.

Resources mentioned:

• “James” by Percival Everett
• Let the Dark In by SenLinYu
• The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy by speechwriter
• Manacled by SenLinYu is no longer available
• Bloody, Slutty, and Pathetic by WhatMurdah
• Save Me Again by wolfstarlover20 (all queer fic Taina read during Pride month)

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You ever feel like the world is on fire and you're holding the matches and a bucket of water? Yeah, us too. In this raw and candid convo, Becky and Taina unpack their experiences around the No Kings protest, the complicated dynamics of white allyship, what it means to show up (and what it doesn’t), and the impossible standards placed on parents, especially moms. From the emotional labor of unlearning white supremacy to the tension between safety and activism, this episode dives deep into the mess of trying to do liberation right—and how there’s no one right way. This one’s for anyone caught between burnout, rage, and hope.

📝 Discussed in this episode

• Why Becky took her son to his first protest (and why he was terrified)
• The emotional toll of being "the good citizen" in a broken system
• Why showing up looks different for white folks vs. people of color
• The white guilt and self-righteousness loop we all have to confront
• The truth about public schools and their real purpose
• Taina’s take on “anti-mothering” and emotional labor
• Generational shifts in parenting and emotional intelligence
• Why curiosity can be an antidote to judgment
• The bullshit of performative allyship (and why praise-kinks are real)
• There’s no gold star for liberation—but we want one anyway

🔗 Resources mentioned

• Deepa Iyer’s Social Change Ecosystem Map
• Trash Tuesday Podcast

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