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Is sleeping with your friends a queer love language or just lesbian chaos theory? We’re spilling on crushes, cuddle hookups, and why queers can’t stop blurring the friendship line. With Zhané and Syd, we talk jealousy, intimacy, ENM vs monogamy, and every messy “oops, I made out with my bestie” scenario. Gay disasters, incoming.

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00:00 intro
01:44 Have you hooked up with friends?
09:20 Pros and cons of hooking up
25:39 What about the friendship?
40:10 Is it inevitable?
49:15 Making the first move
57:56 Intoxicated consent
01:04:18 Keeping a platonic vibe after
01:10:38 How to avoid problems
01:16:52 Role playing scenarios

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CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains mentions of SA. Please take care of yourself while listening, and feel free to skip to the next episode if it’s not the right time for you.

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Femininity: feared, fetishized, and slapped with a “no fems” dating bio. We’re pulling femmephobia apart with Ms. Myles and Danielle. From its colonial, patriarchal origin story to the high school boys who think they have to one-up each other in a contest to sound the most heterosexual.

00:00 Intro
02:25 Define femmephobia
05:28 How does society treat femmes?
15:06 Being a trans femme is something else
23:32 Origins of femmephobia
31:09 The misogyny mask
43:11 No femmes allowed
48:37 Unwavering queerness
53:23 Do you wanna be a boy?
58:15 Protect the dolls

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From Oscar Wilde to JoJo Siwa, the word queer has been called a slur, a theory, an aesthetic, and a whole damn vibe. We’re diving deep into the messy, sexy, defiant legacy of queerness with icons Tyra Blizzard and King a.k.a DJ Soundboi. Why are so many ex-lesbians saying “I’m queer now”? Can cis-hets be queer? Is “queer” just bisexuality in a trench coat?? We’re reclaiming, unpacking, and stirring the pot.

00:00 Intro
02:26 Queer as gender and sexuality?
10:04 Is queer just too vague?
21:21 The ex-lesbians
28:26 Can you be culturally queer?
41:26 History of the word queer
52:12 How has queer evolved?
01:00:08 Is gender queer just non-binary?
01:06:05 Do you need to question your sexual attraction?

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What do electric shocks, shame sermons, and fake science have in common? They were all used to “pray the gay away.” We’re diving into the twisted world of conversion therapy with survivor and scholar Lucas Wilson. From evangelical trauma to the ex-gay movement’s most delulu masc villains, we’re unpacking the pseudoscience, propaganda, and lifelong scars of this deadly practice, and how survivors are reclaiming their stories.

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00:00 Intro
01:46 Did you grow up religious?
08:23 being gay AND christian?
19:03 Discovering conversion therapy
35:40 The indoctrination is strong
44:14 The science is clear
57:36 Should DL folks be outed?
01:02:49 But the bible says
01:07:11 rejecting religion's teachings
01:10:53 The long term harm

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Monogamy is optional. Hierarchies are fake. And ‘the one’ doesn't exist? We're diving headfirst into the world of Relationship Anarchy with queer academic and certified hottie Pat. From dismantling the dating rulebook to navigating multiple partners without losing your mind, this episode unpacks radical love, intimacy without ownership, and why friendship might just be the new forever.

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00:00 Intro
01:32 What is relationship anarchy?
10:50 How do you get into RA?
20:34 Positive impact of RA
27:20 Why choose RA?
41:45 Can it get more radical?
53:28 Building your own RA model
01:06:13 Dating challenges within RA
01:12:26 Creating clarity with multiple partners
01:19:06 Negotiating hierarchies

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Black masculinity is feared, fetishized, and fiercely policed; so what happens when queerness enters the chat? We’re talking masc performance as survival, straight Black men’s discomfort with queerness, and why traditional masculinity is flopping in 2025. With Haviah Mighty and DJ Blackcat, we’re queering the blueprint and dragging patriarchy by the lacefront.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 Intro
02:33 Black masculinity from childhood
11:18 Highschool scripts and stereotypes
16:03 Black masc women
21:52 Black women's standards
27:56 Black masculinity in queer spaces
39:38 Cis straight black men
50:59 Loving men
01:03:43 What is masculinity?
01:10:36 What is healthy masculinity?

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Gay dating can be messy. From hookup culture and emotional avoidance to Grindr’s racial hierarchy, we’re diving into the chaos with guests Darynel Weekly and Mango Lassi. We’re unpacking the trauma, the body standards, the “no fats no femmes,” and giving you tools to heal, find real connection, and maybe even enjoy the apps without losing your soul.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00 Intro
00:02:57 First time with a man
00:07:46 History of hookup culture
00:12:11 DL gays
00:19:57 Seeking validation in sex
00:28:21 Finding long term love
00:36:10 Is the gay community racist?
00:48:48 fetishization in gay community
00:54:46 Is it a personal preference?
01:04:22 Gay body standards
01:07:28 Best advice for dating

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Think all lesbians are women? Think again. We're queering the label with trans and non-binary lesbians who are redefining what it means to love, resist, and rebel. From gender euphoria to TERF drama to navigating dating apps as a gender outlaw, this episode dives into the messy, sexy, revolutionary legacy of lesbianism. Featuring archival hot takes, community tension, and maybe even a little dyke drama.

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Email: queer.collective.to@gmail.com

00:00:00 intro
00:02:34 What is a lesbian?
00:10:18 Being NB and Trans
00:16:29 Finding Gender Identity
00:25:58 Why identify as a lesbian?
00:31:41 What is a woman?
00:37:12 Queer phenomenology
00:51:29 Gender identity vs survival strategy
01:01:41 Who gets to be a lesbian?
01:18:48 Lesbian sentiment towards trans & NB
01:26:28 Dating and intimacy
01:37:36 Envy vs attraction to women
01:41:08 Advice for dating