RESOURCES:

Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start

If you'd like to ask a question for a future "Ask Leslie" episode, go to www.leslievernick.com/askleslie Questions in this episode:

• Doesn’t there have to be infidelity, domestic violence or abandonment as a reason for divorce?

• 8:51 What does it mean to detach and can I detach from my husband who shows contempt for me and dismisses my feelings and needs
• 23:56 How is empathy different from people pleasing?
• 27:47 What is a narcissist and how do we appropriately use this term?
• 37:33 What does chronic indifference look like in a relationship?

RESOURCES: www.leslievernick.com

Quick Start Guide

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

1. Marital Challenges:

   • Rachel describes her passiveness in her marriage, emphasizing the tension between maintaining peace at home and the public persona she had to project.
   • She recounts instances of emotional and verbal abuse from her husband, including public humiliations and controlling behaviors.

2. Custody Battle and Legal Struggles:

   • Rachel talks about the difficult decisions she had to make regarding her children’s well-being and her work-life balance.
   • She details her harrowing experiences with the legal system during her divorce and custody battle, highlighting the allegations and the temporary loss of contact with her children.

3. Health and Recovery:

   • Rachel discusses the impact of stress on her health, leading to hospital visits and a brief institutionalization.
   • She shares her journey towards healing, emphasizing the role of her faith and community support in overcoming her challenges.

4. Empowerment and Advice:

   • Rachel reflects on the lessons learned from her struggles, discussing the importance of recognizing one's worth and the potential dangers of staying in destructive relationships.
   • She offers advice to listeners who might be in similar situations, encouraging them to seek help and prioritize their safety and mental health.

5. New Beginnings and Continued Challenges:

   • Rachel discusses the ongoing challenges of co-parenting with an abusive ex-partner and the strategies she employs to maintain stability for her children.
   • She explores the emotional impact of her journey on her relationship with her children.

6. Spiritual Growth and Personal Insights:

   • Rachel shares how her understanding of biblical teachings on marriage and divorce evolved, highlighting how new interpretations helped her find freedom from oppression.
   • She discusses the role of her faith community and resources like the Conquer program in providing support and validation during her recovery.

RESOURCES:

• Dr. Alison Cook
• I Shouldn't Feel This Way
• "The Best of You" Podcast
• Lesllie's Quick Start Guide

I. Story: Understanding Emotional Triggers A. Example of anger towards adult child B. Framing emotions: Is it about the other person, oneself, God, or circumstances? C. Importance of recognizing the source of emotions

II. Three Practices for Emotional Health A. Naming Emotions 1. Recognizing and labeling feelings without judgment 2. Importance of self-awareness and emotional vocabulary

B. Framing Emotions 1. Understanding the context and underlying causes of emotions 2. Examining personal responsibility and perspective

C. Braving Action 1. Taking intentional steps based on emotional understanding 2. Balancing discernment and action in response to emotions

III. Selfhood and Agency in Relationships A. Acknowledging personal needs and boundaries B. Exploring societal and Christian expectations for women C. Embracing selfhood as essential for healthy relationships

IV. Recognizing Self-Gaslighting A. Identifying invalidation of personal experiences B. Cultivating self-trust and authenticity C. Partnering with God's discernment in navigating emotions

V. Benefits for Spiritual and Psychological Growth A. Integration of faith and psychology in emotional healing B. Understanding the role of emotions and the body in spiritual life C. Tools for self-compassion and emotional resilience

This episode delves into practical strategies for emotional discernment, emphasizing self-awareness, framing emotions, and taking intentional action. It highlights the importance of embracing selfhood and offers tools for self-compassion and growth, regardless of one's spiritual beliefs.