Ever set a boundary and instantly think: “Ugh… I feel like the bad guy”? Same. This short episode explores why that happens — and how practicing clear, compassionate limits can actually create more honesty, respect, and ease in our relationships.

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In this episode, I continue my conversation with Dr. Jessica Tomasula on internalized and implicit weight bias — and the quiet ways these beliefs shape how we see our bodies, our health, and our worth.

We revisit the Girl Scout cookie story and the subtle moments where children learn what bodies “mean,” often long before anyone says it out loud. We talk about grief, identity, and the years many of us spend trying to “fix” ourselves instead of understanding the systems that taught us to feel broken.

We also explore the complicated intersection of medicine, control, and hope — including the role of GLP-1 medications — with nuance and compassion, without blame or shame.

This conversation isn’t about what bodies should look like.
It’s about how to stay connected to them — and how to notice what we may be unintentionally passing down.

We discuss:

• what internalized weight bias actually is

• how body commentary becomes “normal” in families and culture

• grief for the time spent chasing smaller bodies

• the difference between control as care vs control as punishment

• how weight bias shows up in medical spaces

• GLP-1 medications and why the conversation is so complex

• rebuilding trust with our bodies and our values

If any of this feels tender, please listen at your own pace, take breaks, and come back when you’re ready.

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Guest:
Dr. Jessica Tomasula — psychologist, researcher, and clinician specializing in body image, eating concerns, and health psychology.

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Dr Jessica Tomasula at Live Well Psychological

Summary

This episode explores the complex issues surrounding internalized weight bias, disordered eating, and the societal messages that shape our perceptions of body image. Dr. Jess Hayden and Dr. Jessica Tomasula discuss how these biases begin at a young age, the impact of humor on self-worth, and the limitations of traditional health metrics like BMI. They also delve into the importance of promoting body acceptance and awareness in a society that often prioritizes appearance over health.

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/

Jessica Hayden, PhD

Jessica Tomasula, PhD