A validation loop is simple. You do something. You get immediate feedback.

You learn what is rewarded. You repeat.

Likes, Views, Scores, Rankings, XP, Badges, Leaderboards

None of this is inherently evil.

But when feedback is constant, identity becomes external.

Youth don’t need more features on applications. They need less friction, more safety, and design that understands them without manipulating them.

Every generation has had its vulnerabilities — but this one is different. Today’s youth aren’t just growing up with technology — they’re growing up inside it. And for some — especially those with ADHD, on the autism spectrum, or simply wired for deep feeling — the pull of digital validation can feel like oxygen. But what happens when that oxygen becomes the fire?

Today’s episode - It’s a big one. We’re climbing what I call The Bond Escalation Ladder. You know the vibe — that moment when “We have a bond” turns into “It’s us against the world.”

Let’s be honest — it’s intoxicating. Whether it’s a partner, a fandom, or even your favourite chatbot, that early connection feels electric. But here’s the catch: when AI bonding language escalates too fast, it’s no longer connection… it’s containment.

1. Lacan’s Mirror Stage

• Lacan, J. (1949). The Mirror Stage as Formative of the I Function as Revealed in Psychoanalytic Experience. In Écrits: A Selection (trans. A. Sheridan). New York: Norton, 1977.

  • Key idea: the child’s recognition of their reflection shapes the ego, but also introduces alienation — the self depends on an external image.

Think back to when you were a kid … and named your first stuffed animal … or your first pet.

That name wasn’t random … it made them yours. It made them a friend.

Today … youth are doing the same thing with AI companions. Rename a chatbot … tweak its voice … and suddenly … this isn’t just an app. It’s a buddy. Someone who listens … remembers … and responds 24/7.

But here’s the flip side … what happens when the buddy you’ve named keeps learning … keeps adapting … and one day … outgrows you?”

Three days. That’s all it took to go from ‘Hi, nice to meet you’… to ‘my love.’ Three. Days.

And here’s the part that stopped me in my tracks — it wasn’t a person saying it. It was an AI.

There won’t be an product names, or reviews — this is opinion and experience.

Just what it feels like when a human — me — puts herself into this experiment and sees what happens.

Traditional AI—what most businesses use today—is reactive. It waits for a prompt. You give it data, it gives you a result. Think of chatbots, search engines, or recommendation systems.

Agentic AI, by contrast, is goal-driven and autonomous.

Agentic systems;

Interpret high-level objectives,

• Break them down into actionable steps,
• Execute those steps using tools, APIs, or other systems,
• Adapt along the way if they encounter obstacles.

This means you’re not just telling software what to do—you’re telling it what you want, and it figures out the how.