Is quitting alcohol just about the drink itself, or is there something deeper at play? Anna Donaghey sits down with trauma-informed healer Emma Lyons, founder of The Trauma Matrix, to explore how shame hides beneath so many of our habits, including drinking, and keeps us stuck in self-judgment, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. If you’ve ever felt that gnawing ‘not enough’ feeling, or wondered why cutting back on booze feels so hard, this episode will help you see what’s really fueling the urge and give you powerful new tools for release.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Why releasing alcohol requires releasing shame

02:08 Meet Emma Lyons

04:49 Family scapegoat, inherited shame & the roots of addiction

07:54 Why therapy doesn’t work until you address shame

09:00 Shame vs. guilt: The toxic cocktail that attacks our sense of self

12:40 Manipulation, compliance, and the gaslighting of “for your own good”

13:39 How shame hijacks the body and drives coping strategies

17:16 Shame shuts down empathy

19:37 Narcissists, repression, and the Velcro effect of internalised shame

22:01 Scapegoats, golden children, and not being yourself

25:54 Imposter syndrome, perfectionism and anxiety are all just shame with better PR

28:43 Numbing shame with alcohol

30:51 How not-enoughness fuels drinking

32:01 Why shame is always toxic and why society says otherwise

35:41 How children can pick up parental shame, accidentally and unconsciously

38:39 Drinking to numb, feeling flawed, and repeating the pattern

39:31 You can’t bully shame into submission

48:17 What happens when shame is released

48:42 Why alcohol loses its job when shame no longer needs numbing

49:28 Where to find Emma Lyons (+free gift for listeners)

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram:

Is change really something to fear or the doorway to a brighter, more intentional life? What if the moments when everything feels uncertain are precisely when new possibilities emerge? In this uplifting episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey welcomes author and coach Eleanor Tweddell, whose book Another Door Opens explores the messy, hopeful, and deeply human process of navigating personal transformation.

Together, Anna and Eleanor unpack what it means to face closed doors whether it's about drinking, work, relationships, or life itself and how to turn endings into powerful new beginnings. If you’re grappling with resistance to change (or maybe just a nagging sense that something isn’t right), this conversation is packed with understanding, psychological insight, and practical strategies to help you move forward.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet Eleanor Tweddell, author and change expert

02:08 Why closed doors aren’t the end—change as an opening

03:04 Redundancy, discomfort, and listening to the inner voice

04:38 The Do Lecture Bootcamp, risk, and growth

05:48 Resistance vs. readiness: why “I’ll do it tomorrow” feels safer

08:33 The power and necessity of ownership when facing change

12:40 Micro-change in daily life: choice, triggers, and how we respond

14:55 The inevitability of change: we’re already masters at adapting

17:37 The importance of the pause: creating space and acknowledging what you need

19:32 Why alcohol is often our default “pause” and what listening to our emotions can reveal

22:14 Turning resistance into reflection: the first step to possibility

24:45 The messy middle: limiting beliefs, discomfort, and the courage to stay and learn

33:34 Support, connection, and the ripple effect of personal change

34:56 Playfulness as a tool: experiments, brainstorming, and expanding your sense of what’s possible.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn:...

Is drinking stopping you from becoming the parent (and person) you want to be? Why is alcohol so deeply woven into fatherhood and what does it take for men to resist those powerful cultural norms and rewrite their story for good? In this honest and inspiring episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey sits down with Luke Jones, sober transformation coach and NLP master practitioner, to explore identity, masculinity, and the “aha” moments that spark lasting change.

Luke shares how alcohol slowly shifted from social glue to coping crutch, the subtle (and not-so-subtle) self-justifications men use to keep drinking, and the moment his son’s simple question forced him to confront the truth. Together, Anna and Luke shine a light on the unique pressures facing dads and offer powerful tools for mastering the discomfort of change and finding a new (genuinely fun) way forward.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet Luke Jones, sober transformation coach for dads

04:33 From backpacking party scene to family life

06:00 Everyday drinking creeps in using alcohol as a “coping” tool

08:30 When your own kid asks if you’re an alcoholic

12:06 The pressure to keep up and blokey culture,

14:07 Why the fear of loss keeps us stuck

18:05 Personal development vs. just quitting drinking

22:08 Drinking as self-definition, who am I if not a drinker?

23:03 From self-awareness to education

26:31 Your WHY: Role modelling, fatherhood, motivation trumps fear

30:39 Social anxiety and building the muscle of sober connection

33:19 Why it’s not all-or-nothing and every attempt counts

36:27 Is this life enough? How growth and learning return after sobriety

43:14 The most common challenges dads face

44:50 Why men don’t want to talk (but desperately need to)

47:36 Luke’s advice for men: find support, vulnerability is strength

49:54 Resistance is natural, fear is overcomable… and your WHY is everything.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: