Is quitting alcohol just about the drink itself, or is there something deeper at play? Anna Donaghey sits down with trauma-informed healer Emma Lyons, founder of The Trauma Matrix, to explore how shame hides beneath so many of our habits, including drinking, and keeps us stuck in self-judgment, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. If you’ve ever felt that gnawing ‘not enough’ feeling, or wondered why cutting back on booze feels so hard, this episode will help you see what’s really fueling the urge and give you powerful new tools for release.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Why releasing alcohol requires releasing shame

02:08 Meet Emma Lyons

04:49 Family scapegoat, inherited shame & the roots of addiction

07:54 Why therapy doesn’t work until you address shame

09:00 Shame vs. guilt: The toxic cocktail that attacks our sense of self

12:40 Manipulation, compliance, and the gaslighting of “for your own good”

13:39 How shame hijacks the body and drives coping strategies

17:16 Shame shuts down empathy

19:37 Narcissists, repression, and the Velcro effect of internalised shame

22:01 Scapegoats, golden children, and not being yourself

25:54 Imposter syndrome, perfectionism and anxiety are all just shame with better PR

28:43 Numbing shame with alcohol

30:51 How not-enoughness fuels drinking

32:01 Why shame is always toxic and why society says otherwise

35:41 How children can pick up parental shame, accidentally and unconsciously

38:39 Drinking to numb, feeling flawed, and repeating the pattern

39:31 You can’t bully shame into submission

48:17 What happens when shame is released

48:42 Why alcohol loses its job when shame no longer needs numbing

49:28 Where to find Emma Lyons (+free gift for listeners)

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram:

Is change really something to fear or the doorway to a brighter, more intentional life? What if the moments when everything feels uncertain are precisely when new possibilities emerge? In this uplifting episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey welcomes author and coach Eleanor Tweddell, whose book Another Door Opens explores the messy, hopeful, and deeply human process of navigating personal transformation.

Together, Anna and Eleanor unpack what it means to face closed doors whether it's about drinking, work, relationships, or life itself and how to turn endings into powerful new beginnings. If you’re grappling with resistance to change (or maybe just a nagging sense that something isn’t right), this conversation is packed with understanding, psychological insight, and practical strategies to help you move forward.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet Eleanor Tweddell, author and change expert

02:08 Why closed doors aren’t the end—change as an opening

03:04 Redundancy, discomfort, and listening to the inner voice

04:38 The Do Lecture Bootcamp, risk, and growth

05:48 Resistance vs. readiness: why “I’ll do it tomorrow” feels safer

08:33 The power and necessity of ownership when facing change

12:40 Micro-change in daily life: choice, triggers, and how we respond

14:55 The inevitability of change: we’re already masters at adapting

17:37 The importance of the pause: creating space and acknowledging what you need

19:32 Why alcohol is often our default “pause” and what listening to our emotions can reveal

22:14 Turning resistance into reflection: the first step to possibility

24:45 The messy middle: limiting beliefs, discomfort, and the courage to stay and learn

33:34 Support, connection, and the ripple effect of personal change

34:56 Playfulness as a tool: experiments, brainstorming, and expanding your sense of what’s possible.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn:...

Is drinking stopping you from becoming the parent (and person) you want to be? Why is alcohol so deeply woven into fatherhood and what does it take for men to resist those powerful cultural norms and rewrite their story for good? In this honest and inspiring episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey sits down with Luke Jones, sober transformation coach and NLP master practitioner, to explore identity, masculinity, and the “aha” moments that spark lasting change.

Luke shares how alcohol slowly shifted from social glue to coping crutch, the subtle (and not-so-subtle) self-justifications men use to keep drinking, and the moment his son’s simple question forced him to confront the truth. Together, Anna and Luke shine a light on the unique pressures facing dads and offer powerful tools for mastering the discomfort of change and finding a new (genuinely fun) way forward.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet Luke Jones, sober transformation coach for dads

04:33 From backpacking party scene to family life

06:00 Everyday drinking creeps in using alcohol as a “coping” tool

08:30 When your own kid asks if you’re an alcoholic

12:06 The pressure to keep up and blokey culture,

14:07 Why the fear of loss keeps us stuck

18:05 Personal development vs. just quitting drinking

22:08 Drinking as self-definition, who am I if not a drinker?

23:03 From self-awareness to education

26:31 Your WHY: Role modelling, fatherhood, motivation trumps fear

30:39 Social anxiety and building the muscle of sober connection

33:19 Why it’s not all-or-nothing and every attempt counts

36:27 Is this life enough? How growth and learning return after sobriety

43:14 The most common challenges dads face

44:50 Why men don’t want to talk (but desperately need to)

47:36 Luke’s advice for men: find support, vulnerability is strength

49:54 Resistance is natural, fear is overcomable… and your WHY is everything.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn:

Is resistance stopping you from making the changes you crave around alcohol? Why does it feel so hard to step into the unknown even when you know old habits aren’t serving you? In this solo episode, host Anna Donaghey unpacks the hidden force of resistance that keeps us stuck and reveals why letting go, not fighting harder, is often the key to real transformation.

Anna explores the very real brain science behind resistance, how our identities get fused with drinking, and why fear of loss can overshadow the possibilities of change. If you’ve ever felt trapped by familiar habits or doubted your ability to redefine yourself, this episode is a compassionate guide to understanding your inner tug-of-war and a powerful invitation to release what’s weighing you down.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Exploring resistance and release

01:39 Why change feels hard

02:52 Resistance is the mind’s reflex to protect the status quo

04:45 Resistance isn’t weakness; it’s your safety system doing its job

06:49 Why we stay stuck in patterns even when we hate them

08:25 Not just habits, how drinking shapes identity and self-perception

10:54 Reinvention is possible, you’ve changed before, you can do it again

11:39 Loss aversion: why the brain fixates on what you’re “giving up”

13:00 The backpack analogy: holding on to old habits out of fear

14:05 We forget we can grow, change is a muscle

15:54 Change is hard because you’re out of practice, not incapable

16:36 Don’t resign yourself to replaying the same year possibility awaits

17:15 The path forward: don’t fight resistance, practice release

18:53 Release is loosening your grip, calming your nervous system

19:34 Letting go of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and control

20:31 Resistance is the edge of something new; release is how you cross it

21:39 Where are you gripping tight, and what could you let go of?

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn:...

What does it really mean to become “emotionally sober” and why is this concept the key to freedom and fulfillment beyond simply quitting drinking? In this deeply insightful episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey sits down with Natalie Bedard (aka NatNat), founder of Lift OneSelf and host of the Lift OneSelf podcast, to demystify emotional sobriety and the nervous system’s role in how we cope, connect, and heal.

NatNat shares her powerful personal journey through childhood trauma, single parenthood, and a life-threatening illness, and reveals how these experiences led her to develop a trauma-informed, somatic approach to self-regulation and recovery. Together, Anna and NatNat unpack the language of emotional healing, translating concepts like “coming home to yourself” and “nervous system safety” into practical, real-life tools for anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet NatNat and the concept of emotional sobriety

02:14 NatNat’s story, childhood trauma, single motherhood, life-threatening illness, and deep transformation

08:45 Finding regulation in real life (not just on a cushion)

16:14 Why we drink to feel safe and how coping patterns are born

19:04 What “dysregulated” really means and how alcohol hijacks emotions

24:38 The vicious cycle of numbing and why our pain keeps bubbling up

27:41 Trauma as a split from self and how we heal from the divide

29:09 How to feel emotions without drowning in them

32:17 What is emotional sobriety?

35:08 Can you be emotionally sober even if you drink? (Spoiler: Yes)

38:32 The mindful moment, a guided exercise

44:21 Accepting all our parts to build trust and a life we don’t want to escape from

52:49 Be kind to yourself, your breath is your doorway home.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram:

When alcohol enters a family system, disconnection, secrecy, and resentment can quietly take root. But what if real, lasting change doesn’t start with confronting the drinker but by shifting the family dynamic itself? In this powerful episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey sits down with Amber Hollingsworth, counselor and family recovery expert, to unpack how families can navigate the pain of alcohol-related disconnection and take practical steps toward reconnection even when their loved one isn’t ready to get help.

Anna and Amber explore the hidden ways alcohol damages connection at home, why the "bad guy" role traps families in unhealthy dynamics, and how boundaries can become bridges (not battlegrounds) for trust and healing. Amber shares her unique approach to working with families even in the absence of the drinker and offers actionable advice for getting out of the villain role, setting real boundaries, and fostering a climate where change is possible.

Whether you’re worried about a partner, a child, or yourself, this episode is full of hard-won wisdom and reassurance: You are not powerless, and there is a way through this.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Why alcohol disconnection is also a family issue

02:34 Amber’s story: 20+ years working with families, reluctant clients, and the “bad guy” trap

05:44 Influencing change even when your loved one isn’t ready

08:00 High-functioning alcohol use, resentment, and the power struggle dynamic

11:20 Why confrontation can backfire and actually prolong change

14:01 Cat-and-mouse dynamics, trust issues, and “drinking police”

16:22 Early work with addicted teens, and the power of being seen

20:29 Listening, curiosity, and the importance of genuine empathy

24:26 Setting clear personal limits (not rules for others)

29:05 Bringing everything above board before real change begins

35:08 How shifting your role (and your boundaries) changes everything

38:27 Stepping back, and letting others connect their own dots

40:55 Progress is messy, and the value of patience

41:58 What you can start doing today

44:49 You are not powerless; with strategy and understanding, things can change

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the

What if the real craving behind your evening glass of wine isn’t alcohol, but connection? In this episode of The Big Drink Rethink, host Anna Donaghey explores the science and psychology of human connection, why disconnection hurts so much, and the small, practical steps you can use to build both belonging and self-connection without reaching for a drink. Anna outlines why we’re wired for relationships, how modern life leaves us more isolated than we think, and how alcohol often becomes a stand-in for real connection. In this episode you’ll discover practical, actionable tools that won’t just boost your mood, they'll rewire your brain for connection, resilience, and real happiness.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction - why connection matters

00:51 The modern disconnection epidemic

02:27 Loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day

05:29 Why rejection literally hurts

07:10 Using alcohol as a substitute for connection

08:46 Why being a stranger to yourself can hurt just as much

13:28 Craving connection vs. craving alcohol

14:02 The science behind connection

22:29 Difference between loneliness and being alone

23:47 The physical toll of loneliness

25:01 Our amazing neuroplasticity to rewire for belonging

26:17 Micro moments of connection: Daily “sparks” that retrain your brain

29:35 Mindfulness, the foundation of real presence and belonging

30:28 Practical Experiments to try

39:51 Loneliness is a biological signal, respond to it, don’t shame it

41:38 Connection comes from presence and authenticity.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey

Instagram: instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink

Produced by

What does it mean to reconnect to yourself after you stop drinking? This episode of The Big Drink Rethink dives deep into the journey from escapism and numbing through alcohol to living with “radical integrity” and honouring your true values, even when it’s uncomfortable. Host Anna Donaghey welcomes Lauren Burnison, founder of pioneering sober travel company, We Love Lucid and a compelling, raw writer who has built a vibrant community around honest conversations about sobriety, travel, and motherhood.

Lauren shares her rollercoaster story, from early drinking and navigating mean-girl school culture, through wild adventures and substance-fuelled escapes in South America and Asia, to the turning point that led her to choose sobriety for good. Together, they explore why so many of us turn to drinking to self-abandon, how to find meaning beyond alcohol, and what it really looks like to live in alignment with your values even if you don’t always have all the answers.

Here are the Highlights:

00:00 Introduction: Meet Lauren Burnison founder of the sober travel company, We Love Lucid

04:40 Teenage anxiety and self-doubt often lead Lauren to drink alcohol

09:50 Travel, drugs, and alcohol often intertwine

12:03 Alcohol and drugs often create a false sense of connection

16:48 Turbulent travel experiences led to teaching in safer South Korea.

18:32 Hit rock bottom in South Korea

22:19 A mix of grace and meeting a sober friend helped sustain the decision not to drink.

25:49 Reflecting on nine years of sobriety

28:25 Practicing radical integrity by listening to gut feelings and pausing on desires without clear reasons.

30:54 Tuning into emotions and body helps identify what you need

39:07 Quitting alcohol empowers you to feel capable of anything

41:40 Recognise and fulfill your current needs, to nourish and support personal growth

47:36 Anna highly recommends Lauren’s newsletter.

Anna’s group coaching community ‘Unstuck!’ helps identify your alcohol ‘stories’ and beliefs, breaking the cycle of alcohol and all the shame that goes with it. For more information and to find out how to join, please follow this link: https://www.winetowatercoaching.com/unstuck-1

To further explore your relationship with alcohol, check out Anna’s self-guided programme, The Big Drink Rethink Experiment: https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/the-big-drink-rethink-experiment

And apply the code POD99 to purchase for just £99 as a podcast listener.

If you’re loving the podcast and would like to give Anna a warm, fuzzy feeling of appreciation, then you can buy her a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink

About the host Anna:

Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.

Connect with Anna:

Website: thebeliefscoach.com

LinkedIn:...