Have you ever wondered why you and your partner keep having the same argument — even when you both promise it won't happen again?

In this episode, I dive into one of the most common patterns I see in couples therapy: the repetitive relationship fight. Whether it's about the dishes, money, parenting, or communication, couples often find themselves caught in a loop that feels impossible to break. But there's a reason these cycles repeat — and understanding them is the first step to changing them.

I'll walk you through the three most common communication patterns couples get stuck in — pursue-withdraw pattern, attack-attack pattern, and withdraw-withdraw pattern— and show you how to recognize your own version. These patterns aren't signs of failure; they're simply part of the developmental process every relationship goes through as you learn to connect in deeper, more secure ways.

You'll also learn how to start identifying and naming your cycle so you and your partner can begin interrupting it together — before it turns into another fight.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why couples tend to repeat the same fights over and over
• The three main relationship patterns
• How unmet emotional needs drive recurring conflict
• Why these patterns are normal developmental tasks in relationships
• How to identify and name your specific relationship cycle
• A simple first step to pause the fight before it escalates

If you've ever thought, "We're just stuck," this episode will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface and how to take small, meaningful steps toward connection again.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

We all tell ourselves stories — about our partners, our relationships, and even about who we are. But what happens when those stories start to hurt our connection instead of helping it?

In this episode, I sit down with Lindsey Carnick to talk about something that shapes every relationship — the stories we tell ourselves.

As humans, we are meaning-making creatures. Our brains are constantly trying to connect dots, fill in blanks, and make sense of what's happening around us — especially in our closest relationships. But sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves aren't accurate, and they can quietly erode trust, intimacy, and emotional safety.

Lindsey and I explore how these stories form, how they impact our reactions, and what we can do to change them. We also talk about what it really means to slow down, respond with intention, and remember that you and your partner are on the same team.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

• Why our brains are "meaning-making machines" and how that affects relationships
• How assumptions and quick judgments can fuel conflict
• The difference between reactions and responses — and why slowing down matters
• How to recognize your body's early warning signs of escalation
• Tools like the RLT Timeout to create space and safety during conflict
• The power of clear communication: setting your partner up for success
• Why remembering you're on the same team can transform your perspective

If you've ever found yourself overthinking, assuming, or feeling misunderstood, this conversation will help you slow down, get curious, and reconnect with what's actually true.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Being married to an entrepreneur, especially within the unique context of military life, comes with a distinct set of challenges and rewards. How do you balance supporting your partner's dream while pursuing your own? What happens when household roles need to shift, and how do you navigate the difficult conversations about finances, time, and personal identity?

In this episode "Married to an Entrepreneur? 5 Relationship Survival Hacks You Need to Know", Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky sits down with Heather Jones, a life coach for military spouse entrepreneurs, to have an honest conversation about the realities of being married to an entrepreneur. Heather shares her personal journey of transitioning from a military career and government work to becoming a stay-at-home mom and, eventually, a business owner.

Together, they explore the emotional hurdles, the internal battles with guilt and independence, and the practical strategies needed to make both the business and the relationship thrive.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Sibling rivalry is one of the most common challenges parents face, but did you know it can also be an opportunity for growth? In this episode, parenting coach DJ Stutz shares practical strategies on how to deal with sibling rivalry while fostering lifelong skills in your children.

From creating weekly family meetings to teaching negotiation through playful roleplay, DJ explains how small, intentional actions can transform sibling conflict into valuable lessons in communication, boundaries, and empathy. She also reveals why giving children ownership over certain belongings, offering one-on-one time, and modeling healthy relationships can significantly reduce tension at home.

Whether you're dealing with constant bickering, managing strong personalities, or simply want to encourage a healthier sibling bond, this episode offers actionable tips you can start using today.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

What if the secret to a successful marriage wasn't about being perfect… but about learning to love each other through the mess, the distance, and the fear?

If you're a military spouse or in any kind of long-distance or high-stress relationship, you know it's not always easy. The deployments, the uncertainties, the constant adapting. And yet, somehow, we still long for connection, for belonging, for a love that lasts.

In this episode, I sit down with Tina Erwin, a retired Naval Commander, Navy wife, and mother, who's been married for over 50 years. Through real stories and raw reflections, she shares the secrets to a successful marriage especially when life pulls you in different directions.

From navigating fear when your spouse is in danger, to reclaiming your identity in the chaos of military life, Tina offers more than advice. She offers hope, humor, and hard-won truth.

Whether you're just starting your military marriage, deep in the trenches, or wondering how to hold it all together…

This conversation is your gentle reminder that the secrets to a successful marriage are rooted in love, faith, communication and the courage to grow together.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

If anxiety is keeping you up at night, you're not alone. And you don't have to settle for sleepless, anxious nights. In this episode, we're talking about exactly how to sleep better with anxiety, especially when stress, trauma, or PTSD are in the picture.

Dr. Elizabeth is joined by Savannah Hipes, LCSW, DBSM, a sleep and anxiety specialist who works with high-achieving, sleep-deprived professionals to help them finally get the rest they've been missing. Together, they explore why anxiety impacts sleep, how it affects relationships, and what you can do, starting tonight to get real, restorative rest.

This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who's ever tossed and turned at night, woken up with their heart racing, or felt like anxiety was controlling their nights (and stealing their days).

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

In this episode of the Communicate and Connect Podcast, Liz talks with relationship coach Lauren Dry about the freeze response and how it shows up in communication, connection, and conflict.

The freeze response is one of the most misunderstood nervous system reactions, especially in relationships. It can look like emotional shutdown, disconnection, or indifference but it's actually a survival mechanism. Lauren explains why the freeze response happens, how it affects both partners, and what you can do to move from disconnection to reconnection.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the freeze response looks like in relationships
• How unconscious programming and attachment styles affect your reactions
• Why high-achieving people often experience freeze in their personal lives
• Simple somatic tools to help regulate your nervous system in the moment
• How to set connected boundaries that build safety instead of walls

If you or your partner tend to shut down during conflict or feel emotionally frozen, this episode will give you practical tools and new insight to create a stronger, more connected relationship.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.

Welcome to this episode of The Communicate & Connect Podcast, where we tackle the ever-relevant topic of how to deal with different parenting styles. In today's conversation, host Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky is joined by Adam Angel, a specialist in supporting new dads and an advocate for thoughtful, collaborative parenting approaches. This episode is particularly significant for military families, who often face unique challenges and transitions.

Adam begins by sharing his personal journey into fatherhood during the pandemic, which led to his development of a supportive group for new dads. Throughout the discussion, Adam and Dr. Polinsky explore the factors that contribute to varying parenting styles, including cultural backgrounds, childhood experiences, and personal values. They emphasize the importance of understanding child development stages and how this knowledge can bridge gaps between differing parenting philosophies.

Together, they provide actionable advice on leveraging common goals to unite parenting efforts, such as focusing on long-term outcomes like resilience, empathy, and independence in children. The conversation centers around enhancing the parent-child relationship while navigating conflicts that often arise from different views on parenting. Adam shares valuable insights into the necessity of open communication between co-parents, encouraging listeners to engage in constructive dialogues that can lead to mutual compromise and understanding.

In a society where parenting can be an isolated endeavor, Adam advocates for the importance of maintaining a supportive network, which can greatly enrich the parenting experience. This episode is a must-listen for parents looking to improve their relationship dynamics and discover effective strategies for dealing with different parenting styles.

Whether you're part of a military family or simply navigating the daily challenges of parenting, tune in to learn how to enhance communication and connection in your family life while successfully dealing with differing parenting styles.

>>>Make sure to like, review, and subscribe to get all the future episodes and help the podcast be found by others who would benefit the most.

• You can sign up for Elizabeth's FREE 10-week relationship email course here.
• Read the show notes for this episode here.