AHOY SCUMMERS!

After what can only be described as a brief, administratively necessary (definitely not heretical) absence, The Underhive Lorekeepers Podcast staggers back into the vox-net like an Inquisitor returning from a very quiet, very classified investigation.

Yes, we’re back.

And to celebrate our triumphant return to the airwaves (and to prove we haven’t been replaced by suspiciously similar servo-skulls), we’re hosting our Listener Lore Competition: Minor Ordos Edition.

Because nothing says “welcome back” quite like weaponised bureaucracy.

Everyone knows the big three of the Inquisition, but we’re not here for the celebrity Ordos. We want the obscure ones. The underfunded ones. The ones operating out of a damp archive sub-level with a staff of three, a skull with anxiety, and a mandate so hyper-specific it borders on parody.

This episode is all about your creations — the Minor Ordos that REDACTED. The Ordo that investigates bugs in a sitcom. The Ordo dedicated to beverages. The Ordo that insists that, technically, you do not exist. The Ordo loving Roots, bloody roots. The Ordo breaking our souls and robots.

And because the Inquisition is nothing if not deeply uncomfortable around itself, we’ll be imagining what happens when all these Minor Ordos are forced to attend the strangest company mixer in the galaxy. Picture it: name tags in High Gothic, awkward small talk about sanctioned purges, someone from a rival Ordo quietly taking notes in the corner, and at least one Puritan loudly insisting this entire gathering is Gregory.

There will be dramatic readings. There will be questionable accents. There will be entirely too much enthusiasm about Wingdings.

Most importantly, there will be your lore. It is canon-adjacent, wildly unnecessary, and absolutely essential.

We may have been gone for a while… but like any good Inquisitorial investigation, we were merely gathering evidence.

The Emperor Protects. HR absolutely does not.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Hey scummers.

Nathan has absconded to New Zealand on a so-called family holiday, but in doing so has cemented his claim as the one true King of the Scummers. Against all odds (and unlike Spamuel) he’s taken his recording gear on the road. Bravery. Courage. Heroism. We salute him.

After the shortest intro in Lorekeepers history (you’re welcome), we finally bring our rambling tour of the Minor Ordos of the Holy Inquisition to a close.

From the shadowy ordos tasked with investigating miracles, to the Grand Dog of Necromunda, and an Ordo whose entire remit appears to be deciding whether sensitive information gets a Sharpie or a flamer, right through to Malcador the Sigillite’s deeply suspect personal Christmas album collection.

The tail end of this series is an absolute ride.

And because it’s a new year, and this is our first finished series of the year, you already know what that means.

We are doing a giveaway.

Make sure you listen to the whole episode (or just skip to the end) and find out how you can win.

I’m not your mum.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/

Happy New Years, scummers!

It’s been a hot minute since the boys last sat down with you, so naturally this one kicks off with a completely reasonable 20-minute opening.

Expect hopes and dreams for the year ahead, aggressive lamenting over the complete lack of sleep this festive period, and Spamuel proudly announcing that he’s being selfish this year.

The Year of Chaos is well and truly upon us.

Then, after playing far too much of the Owlcat Games Mega smash hit cult classic game, Rogue Trader, the boys finally drag themselves back to the lore and dive headfirst into the Rogue Traders themselves.

We break down who these wildly over-privileged lunatics are, how a single, ancient Warrant of Trade lets them operate above almost all Imperial law, and why the Imperium is perfectly happy to tolerate their excesses so long as the tithes keep flowing.

From skirting the edges of heresy, to dealing with xenos, founding colonies, claiming forgotten worlds and occasionally kicking off wars by accident, Rogue Traders exist in that beautiful grey zone where ambition, faith, and profit collide. They are explorers, conquerors, diplomats, pirates, and sometimes outright criminals.

All in the Emperor’s name, of course.

Want to support the show? ⁠https://linktr.ee/underhivelorekeepers

End music theme is Celltrance by Lobo Loco.

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lobo_Loco/free-for-you-cc-by/celltrance-id-2346/