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In this Mindset Monday, Matt gets real about why the holidays are a pressure cooker for people in recovery and for the families who love them. He shares hard personal memories from his last Christmas in active addiction and his first Christmas sober, and breaks down the three stages of relapse, emotional, mental, and physical, so you can catch a slip long before a drink ever hits your hand. You will hear simple rules for getting through parties, travel, and family drama without “testing” your recovery, plus how to talk with your spouse about support without falling into codependent patterns. Matt also walks spouses through his three tiers of holiday invitations for someone in active addiction, from full invite with hard boundaries to separate, safer meetups, so you can protect your kids and the sanctity of the day without losing your mind. If this is your first sober Christmas or your first one on your own, this episode will help you grieve what was, create new traditions, and remember there is still a fire inside you and a future worth building.

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In this first episode of our three part anger series, we talk about what anger really is when you are still with someone in active addiction or someone sober, but unhealed. Anger is not a flaw to fix or a sign that you are the problem. It is a mobilizing, revolutionary emotion that is trying to tell you that you are not safe, that your values are being violated, and that you cannot keep living like this.

We break down the difference between anger and aggression, why stuffing anger down only prolongs the chaos, and how waiting for your partner to finally take accountability keeps you stuck. You will hear how we each processed anger differently, how to use anger as fuel instead of a weapon, and how to start shifting from destructive reactions to constructive action using our VEER framework. Even if your partner is in recovery or you are already out of the relationship, this episode lays the groundwork for parts 2 and 3, so do not skip it.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
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Support the Show:
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Online Program:
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In this Mindset Monday, Matt sits down with the questions men usually ask in private. These are the messages he gets from guys in crisis who are trying to get sober, repair their marriage, and figure out what it actually means to be a good man.

We'll go rapid fire through questions like:
• “Why do I have to be the one to change first?”
• “If I am sober, why is she still angry?”
• “How long is she supposed to stay mad after I apologized?”
• “Why do I feel like the bad guy even when I am trying?”
• “Do I get to have needs too, or is it all about her healing?”
• “How much of her triggers are my responsibility?”
• “What is the difference between her boundary and her controlling me?”
• “Why does everything still get blamed on my addiction, even when I am sober?” • “Why does she shut down about sex?”

Matt shares the mindset shifts that helped him get and stay sober for nearly 13 years, rebuild his marriage, become a better father, and stop seeing himself as the victim of his own past. If you are a man who is trying to change, or a partner who wants to understand what might be going on in his head, this one will give you language, perspective, and a challenge to rise to.

Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages!

On the web:
www.twfo.com

Support the Show:
Buy Us a Coffee!

Online Program:
www.independentlystrong.com

Soberlink Device:
www.soberlink.com/wheels

Check out our blog:
https://twfo.com/blog

Follow us on TikTok:
https://tiktok.com/@twfo_couple

Follow us on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/twfo_couple/

Follow us on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/TWFOCouple

Follow us on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@twfo_couple

Find Taylor Counseling Group:
https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/

Donate to Counseling for the Future Foundation:
Donate Here