Hello! What a glorious day to see you! Today, Iain kicks us off with a good old-fashioned alien contactee story packed with love, confusion, and all the alien trickery you’d expect from the buggers. Then Jordan brings us a round of mistranslated gems; on the menu today? Well… menus! All those delicious items that have been hilariously butchered with English translation errors. It’s the kind where you’d order some food just to find out what on Earth it is you’d get! And when you do, let us know, will ya? Bone apple teeth!

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Welcome, welcome! Whether you’re here for the first time, the 139th time, or somewhere in between, this week you’ve got yourself a good one. Today’s episode is stacked! We clear up a few things we’ve talked about before, and we’ve got an interview with a very special guest you’ll definitely want to stick around for.

First up, Iain’s bringing us a story of a so-called “monster” that stalked the streets of 18th-century London. Was it a creature of nightmares… or just a truly horrible human? Either way, it was a horrible time and women lived in fear!

Then Jordan’s back on peak Jordan form with some brilliantly mistranslated signs. If you remember “various and confused pizzas,” this is part two, only bigger, better, and even crazier. (And yes, the pictures are up on YouTube and Spotify if you’re listening there.)

And to round things off—we’ve got a list. But not just any list. A while ago Jordan asked Iain to get a certain someone to write a little bit on the little things their partner does that drive them mad. There is a list! but instead of us reading it out, that certain someone has stepped out of the shadows to deliver it themselves directly to Iain’s face.

It’s a packed one today, folks!

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This week we’re diving into two kinds of monsters; one that (apparently) stalked a North London cemetery, and another that lurks in the fine print of every program you’ve ever absent-mindedly clicked “I agree” on in order to use it.

First, Iain takes us deep into the eerie legend of the Highgate Vampire: sightings, séances, duelling occultists, and a media frenzy that turned a graveyard into ground zero for Britain’s creepiest supernatural soap opera! Then Jordan shines some light on some of the weirdest, funniest, and downright sinister things hidden in common user agreements. From clauses about souls to surreal rules no one noticed before, clicking just to get to your juicy new piece of software. Vampires, contracts, and questionable decisions? Sounds about right.

Support us Two Guys on Patreon for monthly bonus episodes and merch

All the linktree links for all your TGWU needs

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.