Hello! What a glorious day to see you! Today, Iain kicks us off with a good old-fashioned alien contactee story packed with love, confusion, and all the alien trickery you’d expect from the buggers. Then Jordan brings us a round of mistranslated gems; on the menu today? Well… menus! All those delicious items that have been hilariously butchered with English translation errors. It’s the kind where you’d order some food just to find out what on Earth it is you’d get! And when you do, let us know, will ya? Bone apple teeth!

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Welcome, welcome! Whether you’re here for the first time, the 139th time, or somewhere in between, this week you’ve got yourself a good one. Today’s episode is stacked! We clear up a few things we’ve talked about before, and we’ve got an interview with a very special guest you’ll definitely want to stick around for.

First up, Iain’s bringing us a story of a so-called “monster” that stalked the streets of 18th-century London. Was it a creature of nightmares… or just a truly horrible human? Either way, it was a horrible time and women lived in fear!

Then Jordan’s back on peak Jordan form with some brilliantly mistranslated signs. If you remember “various and confused pizzas,” this is part two, only bigger, better, and even crazier. (And yes, the pictures are up on YouTube and Spotify if you’re listening there.)

And to round things off—we’ve got a list. But not just any list. A while ago Jordan asked Iain to get a certain someone to write a little bit on the little things their partner does that drive them mad. There is a list! but instead of us reading it out, that certain someone has stepped out of the shadows to deliver it themselves directly to Iain’s face.

It’s a packed one today, folks!

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This week we’re diving into two kinds of monsters; one that (apparently) stalked a North London cemetery, and another that lurks in the fine print of every program you’ve ever absent-mindedly clicked “I agree” on in order to use it.

First, Iain takes us deep into the eerie legend of the Highgate Vampire: sightings, séances, duelling occultists, and a media frenzy that turned a graveyard into ground zero for Britain’s creepiest supernatural soap opera! Then Jordan shines some light on some of the weirdest, funniest, and downright sinister things hidden in common user agreements. From clauses about souls to surreal rules no one noticed before, clicking just to get to your juicy new piece of software. Vampires, contracts, and questionable decisions? Sounds about right.

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Welcome to a special episode of TGWU! It’s the middle of summer and we’re all feeling the heat, so grab a cocktail and sit back as we take a break from the paranormal and internet oddities, to invite regular-guest Paul (Moonback) on the show for a game of “Would You Rather?”

Full of laughs, revelations, and a damn good time had by all!

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Welcome back! It’s Monday and we’ve got the goods! Iain kicks us off with some (reportedly) true stories of the technology we use every day, recording evidence that we’re not alone in this world! From alien abductions, Alexa recording things, and smart watches - they record it tall!

And then Jordan reminds us that the paranormal isn’t the only thing we need to worry about, as he gives us a list of things that people have said they still can’t do but feel like they should be able to! Like…

“I’m 37, can’t make my wife smile” - Iain.

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Chillpeach - In Dreamland: https://youtu.be/VrxL2iouKLk

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This week, Iain takes us deep into the shadowy streets of old Toronto to uncover the story of the Cabbagetown Monster! A bizarre figure said to have inhabited the sewers in the 1970s. Was it a misidentified cryptid; a trickster spirit; or something a little more ordinary?

Then Jordan shifts tones, but keeps the chaos, with a collection of things that people do to their partners to purposefully infuriate them! Including a fair few of our own revelations, that means we’re not the perfect husbands we thought we were.

Oh, and watch out for those pesky ads!

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This week, Iain tells us about the story of Jerry Wills! The man who claims to have been healed by alien beings (or something similar, but let’s be real - it’s definitely aliens) and guided by intuitive downloads, along with a little bit on of onboard power, to heal the sick! We discuss his strangest claims, the stories of miraculous recoveries, and ask the big question - is Derren Brown an alien?

Then it’s over to Jordan, who, in light of his wedding aniversary! (Happy anniversary, Jordan 👏 ) brings us something a little more earthbound but no less bizarre: a chaotic list of the most unhinged things wedding guests have ever witnessed. From a lack of furniture, to a story from his very own wedding! Nobody’s walking down the aisle unscathed today - but don’t worry, the healing is at 5pm in the marquee. Then cake.

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Disappearances are unfortunately a sad reality. People go missing and we’re lucky to have people who are trained in looking for those lost loved ones. But what about when the police say nu-uh? What about when your entire family goes missing because the aliens did it, and there’s no one to help you? Well, that is today’s mystery as Iain tells us the story of Mrs. Beardtoes, and her encounter with a family-jabbing bunch of aliens!

And then, Jordan turns to the nicer side of psychology as he tells us some interesting and thought-provoking experiments tried through the years. From how dumb babies are (not our words), to how mice can be sympathetic! I think we can all learn a thing or two, as Jordan gives us all a lot to think about.

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Catacombs by Moonback Music

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