The holiday season has a way of revealing what we’ve been trying to ignore. When the pressure to perform, host, or appear “happy” collides with the chaos of an emotionally abusive relationship, everything that’s been buried rises to the surface.

In this episode, I unpack why abuse patterns intensify around the holidays — and how to recognize the moment you finally see the cycle for what it is.

I also share ways to start naming the truth, release self-blame, and reclaim your nervous system — even if you’re still in the relationship.

If this resonates, explore Unhooked private podcast and course on breaking the cycle of abuse, or connect for one-on-one coaching at emotionalabusecoach.com

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This episode explores what happens when the holidays don’t feel magical—when they instead trigger memories of tension, performance, and survival. I reflect on how November and December can awaken body memories of chaos, control, and grief, even years after leaving an abusive relationship.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

In this episode, I talk about one of the most confusing and insidious forms of manipulation survivors face in high-conflict relationships and co-parenting: Double Speak.

It’s that moment when control hides behind concern — when an email, message, or conversation sounds calm and reasonable to everyone else, but your body knows something is off. It’s when someone says, “I just want what’s best for our child,” while taking positions that go directly against your child’s needs or the agreements already in place.

I break down how Double Speak operates as a tactic of coercive control — how it creates contradiction, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion — and how to start spotting it before you’re pulled into another circular argument. I share real-world examples from co-parenting cases, explain how this pattern shows up in court, and offer practical strategies for documenting, responding, and staying grounded when someone twists words to maintain power.

If you’ve ever felt like you were being gaslit by “reasonable” communication, this episode will help you name the manipulation — and reclaim your clarity.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking a phrase almost every survivor has heard at some point: “You’re the only one who has a problem with me.”

It’s one of the most subtle yet powerful forms of emotional manipulation — the kind that makes you question your reality, your reactions, and even your goodness.
When someone says this, they aren’t giving you perspective — they’re stripping you of credibility. They’re trying to convince you that your pain doesn’t matter unless other people agree with it.

In this episode, I share how abusers use this tactic to isolate and silence you, the emotional math behind it, and how you can start trusting your own experience again.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Abusers often hide behind confusion — denying intent, twisting reality, and framing your hurt as an overreaction. What starts as a simple disagreement turns into you questioning your memory, your emotions, and your sanity.

I share how this pattern plays out in everyday moments, from small promises broken to emotional gaslighting that keeps survivors trapped in cycles of guilt and self-doubt.

If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I don’t even know what’s real anymore,” this episode will help you understand why — and remind you that what you feel is valid, even when someone insists it’s not.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This episode builds off of last weeks where I disussed DARVO in Family Court. I cover exactly how to capture DARVO behavior in a way that lawyers, GALs, and court professionals can actually understand.

You’ll learn how to:

• Identify the denial, attack, and role reversal phases in real-time.
• Translate emotional chaos into factual, court-readable documentation.
• Recognize when the abuser is using the legal system as a weapon.
• Communicate patterns to your attorney without being dismissed or labeled “high conflict.”

This episode will help you see that what’s happening isn’t “miscommunication” — it’s manipulation, and you can show the truth, clearly and strategically, without losing yourself in the process.

For more support, visit emotionalabusecoach.com and https://jessicaknight.thinkific.com/courses/documentation

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

November is Family Court Awareness Month, a time to shed light on a system that too often fails to protect survivors and their children. In this episode, I explore what happens when a court system that frequently reframes abuse as “conflict,” rewards manipulation, and punishes protective parents for trying to keep their kids safe.

I walk through:

• What Family Court Awareness Month is and why it matters.
• How the legal system can retraumatize survivors and reward abusers who appear calm, logical, and “reasonable.”
• The emotional and strategic toll of trying to protect your child while being gaslit by institutions meant to help.
• How survivors are adapting—learning to document, regulate, and think strategically to protect themselves and their children.

If you’re currently navigating family court, divorce, or co-parenting with a high-conflict person, I offer one-on-one coaching and specialized strategy sessions to help you document, organize, and stay grounded through the process.

👉 Explore one-on-one coaching, courses, and survivor resources at emotionalabusecoach.com and highconflictdivorcecoaching.com

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

If you’ve ever felt like your abuser managed to twist the truth so completely that you ended up defending yourself against their behavior — this episode is for you.

Today, I’m breaking down DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — and how it shows up in divorce and custody cases. DARVO is psychological warfare disguised as concern. It’s the reason you end up explaining, over and over, why following a court order isn’t “withholding,” or why setting a boundary isn’t “abuse.”

We’ll walk through:

• What DARVO actually means — and why it’s so effective in family court.
• Real examples of how it plays out in co-parenting communication.
• How to respond when your protective actions are reframed as “control.”
• Practical steps to document and communicate clearly when this pattern appears.

If you’ve been accused of being the problem simply for following the plan, this episode will help you see what’s really happening — and how to get back to solid ground.

You can find the documentation course, my “Divorcing a Narcissist 101” course, and more tools to support your case and your nervous system at emotionalabusecoach.com
or highconflictdivorcecoaching.com
.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner