Why do some couples seem to grow closer over time while others drift apart? In this episode, we explore the small, often unnoticed moments that make or break a relationship — the bids for connection.

Every time you reach out — with a glance, a question, a joke, or a touch — you’re offering a bid. Thriving couples recognise these bids and turn toward them; struggling couples miss or dismiss them.

We’ll unpack why these micro-moments matter so much, how to spot them, and what happens when they’re ignored. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting out, this episode will help you see love not as grand gestures but as the tiny daily choices that keep your bond alive.

To learn more, visit my couples therapy website and the new online program

Why do so many conversations with people we care about spiral into arguments? Often it’s because we’re focused on being right instead of relating.

In this episode of Couples in Focus, I unpack the difference between proving your point and stepping into someone else’s “map” — their inner world of experiences, feelings, and beliefs. You’ll hear real-life examples of how shifting from defensiveness to curiosity can transform conflicts into moments of connection, whether with a partner, friend, coworker, or family member.

We’ll explore why relating builds trust and emotional safety, and I’ll share practical tools you can use to pause, listen, and connect without losing yourself in the process.

For more on relationships and therapy, visit coupletherapy.earth.

Summary

In this conversation, Michael Preston discusses the importance of giving partners the benefit of the doubt in relationships. He emphasises how this shift in perspective can transform negative interactions into positive ones by fostering curiosity and understanding. Instead of reacting defensively to perceived slights, partners can approach each other with empathy and a desire to understand the other's experiences, leading to healthier communication and conflict resolution.

Takeaways

Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt can change dynamics.

Curiosity can replace defensiveness in relationships.

Understanding your partner's day can foster empathy.

Transforming negative cycles into positive interactions is crucial.

Effective communication is rooted in emotional intelligence.

Empathy leads to better conflict resolution.

Positive interactions can enhance personal growth.

Relationships thrive on understanding and curiosity.

Recognising triggers can help manage responses.

Healthy partnerships require ongoing effort and understanding.

Learn more by visiting my websites and the new online program.