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When bizarre magical disappearances disrupt shows around the city, Esther receives a mysterious warning not to go on with her off-Broadway show. Desperate to stay on stage rather than resort to waiting tables, Esther turns to her new BFF, Dr. Maximillian Zadok, a 350-year-old mage whose day job is protecting New York from Evil. Determined to get to the bottom of this mystery without losing her job, Esther and Max team up with a conjuring cowboy, a banker with stage aspirations, and a flock of fearless drag queens.

While working as a singing waitress in Little Italy, struggling actress Esther Diamond witnesses a mob hit. And right before getting whacked out, the victim tells her that he just saw his own doppio - a perfect double and a notorious portent of death. Before long, more döppelgangers start haunting New York’s mobsters, who are subsequently getting bumped off in mysterious ways. Meanwhile, Esther’s new love-interest, Detective Connor Lopez, gets transferred to the NYPD’s organized crime unit and is assigned to investigate these hits.

The Unidentified Funny Objects series serves an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices! Our sixth volume features a Mad Amos story by Alan Dean Foster, a Harry the Book tale by Mike Resnick, and an Alexander Outland short by Gini Koch.

Struggling actress Esther Diamond, whose year got off to a rough start (what with incarceration, unemployment, and mystical death curses), finally catches a break when she lands an acting job. She's hired to reprise her guest role as prostitute Jilly C-Note on The Dirty Thirty, a TV crime drama about depravity and corruption in the New York Police Department. Esther's ex-sometime boyfriend, NYPD's Detective Connor Lopez, hates that show with undying passion - especially after Esther convinces her narcissistic co-star to shadow Lopez on the job....

Esther Diamond's year gets off to a rocky start when NYPD's Detective Connor Lopez, who slept with her and then didn't call, shuts down the Little Italy restaurant where Esther works between acting jobs and gets her arrested. Once she's out of handcuffs, Esther takes a small role in a grad student's film project in Chinatown - where her friend, semi-retired hit man Lucky Battistuzzi, is hiding out in a Chinese-Italian mortuary.

In the days leading up to Christmas, struggling actress Esther Diamond is working as a singing-and-dancing elf at Fenster & Co, a major Manhattan department store. As if dealing with hordes of holiday shoppers isn't bad enough, Esther's ex-almost-boyfriend, Detective Connor Lopez, is on the scene investigating a series of mob-related truck hijackings of Fenster's merchandise. Semi-retired hitman Lucky Battistuzzi is also nosing around, since the mob resents being implicated in thefts they didn't commit.

Everything you know about vampires is wrong, as struggling actress Esther Diamond discovers after taking a job as a victim in The Vampyre, an off-Broadway cult hit in Manhattan. Not only is she besieged by fang-wearing vampire groupies, fanatical anti-vampire activists, and the bloodsucking paparazzi, but she also has to put up with broody lead actor Daemon Ravel, who claims to be a real vampire. But when one of Daemon's fan girls turns up dead - and drained of all her blood - Esther is determined to help.

Acting jobs don't grow on fire escapes, so struggling actress Esther Diamond is outraged when her guest role as a hooker on controversial TV drama The Dirty Thirty is jeopardized by zombies, angry spirits, and a voodoo curse. Meanwhile, the talented teens Esther is coaching at a Harlem cultural center are also being attacked by the sinister supernatural power that's spreading through Manhattan.