Suits & Sevens

Will: Turning up on the first day of a job you desperately need to discover you’ve already slept with your billionaire boss? Yeah, that’s a bit of a conundrum. Learning he’s a closeted bisexual currently embroiled in a - by all accounts bogus - sexual harassment scandal? That’s more of a fiasco. But having to sit outside the office of one of the sexiest men alive, day in, day out, knowing there’s no chance of a repeat? That’s what I’d call a disaster.

When my parents decided to name me Andrew, I doubt they could have imagined it would lead me here…where is here, exactly? The short version - the Wattleglen Inn on Long Island, where my roommate’s billionaire brother has roped me into pretending to be his boyfriend for a family wedding weekend. All because I happen to have the same name as the ex his family still thinks he’s dating. The long version - a ton of questioning, fantasizing, and giving in to temptation after being on the receiving end of the most epic BJ I’ve ever had in my life.

When you’re staring down the barrel of half a century’s existence on this planet, you tend to think about things… Like…maybe I should think about retiring? And I guess I could start crossing things off my bucket list? And should I get my colon checked? Something I wasn’t intending to start assessing too closely at this stage of my life—or ever, really—is my sporadic, complicated, and rather inconvenient attraction to men.