Humor Fiction Adventure

Five years ago, the US Space Force became a reality. And while those writing the checks took things very seriously, the other military branches did not. As a result, Space Force was populated by undesirables. My name is Captain Ethan Stone, a decorated member of SEAL Team Six turned Space Force "recruit". Flash forward five years and between tenses. President West is in office. Power has shifted. And Space Force is defunded. With just a handful of us still living on base, we find ourselves being evicted. But before all of us can leave, aliens invade.

Charlie Dunbar hatte große Pläne für die Sommerferien, aber auf der Flucht sein stand nicht auf der Liste. Umso größer ist die Verwirrung, dass sein Komplize ausgerechnet sein kranker Großvater ist. Auf der Flucht versuchen sie nun, quer durch das ganze Land zu einem Spezialisten zu gelangen, während die Welt ihre Reise gebannt verfolgt. Sie werden zum Thema hitziger Debatten auf allen Nachrichtensendern. Tausende Menschen bekunden ihre Unterstützung auf Facebook-Fanseiten. Selbst Charlies Eltern treten live im Fernsehen auf, er soll bitte sicher zurück nach Hause kommen.

Two gassy brothers. One mad clown with Weapons of Mass Flatulation. Can kid fart power save the world's butt? Willy and Peter just want to sit around gaming and farting. So it's really annoying when they're out shopping for their sister's birthday and end up captured by crazed clowns who want to take over the planet. From a remote bouncy castle dungeon to the White House itself, can Willy and Peter outsmart - and out-fart - the evil clowns? Can they save the human race from ex-stink-tion? And still get home in time for their sister's birthday?

Bernie is already a scrawny thirteen-year-old magnet for misfortune. But when his father pawns him off on relatives after his mother dies and he accidentally takes a picture of a man carrying a dead body through the woods, Bernie’s life becomes truly miserable. Now he must discover who the murderer is while staying out of trouble so that his father doesn’t take him away. Will the fates decide to salvage the miserable life of Bernie LeBaron?

Get ready for a hostile takeover of epic proportions. In BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem, the end isn't nigh—it's been leveraged, securitized, and is ready to liquidate. Say your prayers and check your credit score because when the celestial ledger closes, you'll want to make sure your cosmic assets are diversified.

When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....

What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.

For Twilight fans and beyond: the ultimate guide to love and sex, vampire-style. Women daring and lucky enough to discover romance with a vampire claim to enjoy the most intense love and sex of their lives. But how do you find a vampire of your very own? And just how do you get him interested in ravishing you within an inch of your life? Will the ecstasy of the coupling be worth the inherent risks of vampire love—the risks of drinking your blood, the risks of secrecy, and the risks of betrayal?

Fast asleep, Bacto wakes to find his tongue talking nonstop. It boasts about being the strongest muscle until it talks a little too much. Annoyed, the Teeth warn it to stop — and when it doesn’t, they decide to teach the tongue a well-deserved lesson.

Anu wants the tallest ice-cream tower ever — more scoops, more flavours, just like the tallest skyscraper! Grandpa warns her it might melt and topple, but Anu insists.

On his first day at a new school, Ritwik’s nose turns bright red after an accident. A bully turns him into a class joke, and Ritwik runs away in tears.

During hide and seek, Meeku Mouse and his friends hear a terrifying lion’s roar nearby. Trembling, they search for the beast —only to uncover a hilarious truth behind the lion’s sound.

At first, high school freshmen Rex McClendon and Leif Nelson believe what they’ve been told - that local students’ strange demises at Whitewood, a local reformatory, were all tragic accidents. But when the shoot for their low-budget horror masterpiece, PolterDog, goes horribly awry - and their best friend, Alicia Boykins, is sent to Whitewood - Rex and Leif are forced to question everything they know about their unassuming hometown and its cherished school for delinquents.

Here in his first non-Shannara novel, Terry Brooks has written a gripping story of mystery, magic, and adventure—sure to delight fantasy readers everywhere. Landover was a genuine magic kingdom, with fairy folk and wizardry, just as the advertisement has promised. But after he purchased it...

Livy Kowalski has no time for idiots. When you shapeshift into a honey badger, getting through life's irritants is a finely honed skill. Until she gets stuck housing her nutso cousin and dealing with her dad's untimely and unexplained demise. That's where Vic Barinov comes in-or his house does. Vic can't step outside without coming back to find Livy devouring his honey stash and getting the TV remote sticky. It gets his animal instincts all riled up. But he'll have to woo her at high speed: All hell is breaking loose, and Livy is leading the charge…

A month has passed since Martin helped to defeat the evil programmer Jimmy, and things couldn't be going better. Except for his love life, that is. Feeling distant and lost, Gwen has journeyed to Atlantis, a tolerant and benevolent kingdom governed by the Sorceresses, and a place known to be a safe haven to all female time-travelers.

Simon Shaw, a rumpled, fortyish English advertising executive, has decided to leave it all behind, and heads of to France to transform an abandoned police station in the Luberon into a small but world-class hotel. On his side, Simon has a loyal majordomo and a French business partner who is as practical as she is ravishing. But he hasn't counted on the malignant local journalist—or on the mauvaise types who have chosen the neighboring village as the site of their latest bank robbery.

Garion, Belgarath, Polgara, and their companions face new challenges as they continue their quest to retrieve the stolen Orb before it can be delivered to the evil god Torak.

Jasper and Annie are a pair of jobless no-hopers who have dropped into the cracks between the paving slabs of life. Rather than bothering to climb out, they have embraced their situation and created a life based around doing pretty much nothing. That is, apart from visiting various chronic illness clubs for free refreshments and selling old cassette tapes online. But when a customer leaves negative feedback for a month-old purchase without first making contact, Jasper seeks retribution.

Gerald Dunwoody is a wizard. Just not a particularly good one. He's blown up a factory, lost his job, and there's a chance that he's not really a Third Grade wizard after all. So it's off to New Ottosland to be the new Court Wizard for King Lional. It's a shame that King Lional isn't the vain, self-centered young man he appeared to be. With a princess in danger, a talking bird who can't stay out of trouble, and a kingdom to save, Gerald soon suspects that he might be out of his depth.