Social Conflict

From time to time all of us have social conflicts. Sometimes we are invited to dance with people who have more external power than us, for example, a supervisor or an elder sibling or parent. Sometimes we might be invited to struggle with someone we don’t care so much about; like a stranger or acquaintance or a distant in-law. In either case the choice to engage or abstain is ours. If we engage, it is important to do our best to leave our dance partner some dignity and show some respect.

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of an argument with someone who just isn’t getting it? Most of us miss out on the visual emotive cues we see during direct interpersonal communication. Without these important context clues, we struggle to grasp the intent of the messenger and often the real meaning of the message. To make matters worse, our dependence on instant communication, like text messaging and email, has resulted in forgetting how to talk to one another in person.

The Sino-American contest is driven by clashing geopolitical interests and a stark ideological dispute over whether authoritarianism or democracy will dominate the twenty-first century. But both history and China's current trajectory suggest that this rivalry will reach its moment of maximum danger in the 2020s. The Chinese challenge will most likely prove more manageable than many pessimists currently believe—but during the 2020s, the pace of Sino-American conflict will accelerate, and the prospect of war will be frighteningly real.

The desire for dignity is universal and powerful. It is a motivating force behind all human interaction - in families, in communities, in the business world, and in relationships at the international level. When dignity is violated, the response is likely to involve aggression, even violence, hatred, and vengeance. On the other hand, when people treat one another with dignity, they become more connected and are able to create more meaningful relationships.

The relationship between the US and China, the world’s two superpowers, is peculiarly volatile. Their militaries play a dangerous game of chicken, corporations steal intellectual property, intelligence satellites peer, and AI technicians plot. The capacity for either country to cross a fatal line grows daily. Kevin Rudd, a former Australian prime minister who has studied, lived in, and worked with China for more than forty years, is one of the very few people who can offer real insight into the mindsets of the leadership whose judgment will determine if a war will be fought.

In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical and psychological results for everyone involved.

How do you respond to anger - in yourself or others? Do you fight fire with fire, or run for cover? Dr. Christian Conte created Yield Theory™ as a way to meet conflict without aggression or submissiveness through the practice of compassionate listening, de-escalation, and genuine communication. With Walking Through Anger, he shares this revolutionary model for dealing with inflamed emotions in even the most difficult and charged situations.

Learn how working with power, rank, revenge, and abuse helps build sustainable communities from author and the founder of Processwork Arthur Mindell. Mindell has appeared on radio and television around the world and works internationally with highly conflicted groups including government and multi-racial situations.

In our default state, our brains constantly get in the way of effective communication. They are lazy, angry, immature, and distracted. They can make a difficult conversation impossible. But Andrew Newberg, M.D., and Mark Waldman have discovered a powerful strategy called Compassionate Communication that allows two brains to work together as one.

Authored by leading scholars, the 14 case studies in this volume will help policymakers, scholars, and students make sense of contemporary cyber conflict through historical analogies to past military technological problems.

Surprising as it sounds, war has made humanity safer and richer. In War! What Is It Good For?, the renowned historian and archaeologist Ian Morris tells the gruesome, gripping story of 15,000 years of war, going beyond the battles and brutality to reveal what war has really done to and for the world. War, and war alone, has created bigger, more complex societies, ruled by governments that have stamped out internal violence.

Do you want to improve your relationships and productivity, all by simply changing your listening habits? You already understand the importance of quality communication. But good communication is built not on speaking but on listening. In 10 easy steps, you can go from being a poor listener to an excellent one. At each step, you’ll learn how to navigate the pitfalls of strained communication, transforming your ability to exchange accurate, complete information and deepen emotional understanding and connectedness.

Relationships everywhere are in crisis due to our inability to talk about "difference" without polarizing. Since objection to difference is the core human problem, we need a skill that helps us connect beyond difference. That's just what New York Times bestselling authors Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt offer in their new book: How To Talk With Anyone About Anything. They call it the Safe Conversations Dialogue process, which everyone can learn and teach, that moves all relationships from danger to safety, making connecting possible.

How are you supposed to tell someone that they're not meeting expectations without crushing their spirit? Regular feedback, when delivered skillfully, can turn average performers into the hardest workers and stars into superstars. Yet many see it as an awkward chore: Recent studies have revealed 37 percent of managers dread giving feedback, and 65 percent of employees wish their managers gave more feedback. This trail-blazing new model eliminates the guesswork.

We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.

We either seize the opportunity or lose the chance to be great. We can spend all our lives preparing to be winners, working so hard for the glory of success in our careers, relationships, professional and personal lives, but often fear, anxiety and self-sabotages get in the way. Here is the good news! There are powerful ways to combat all that and everything else standing in the way of your goals. Gerard Shaw, a communication coach and creator of this powerful series, explores the science of success of people who discovered the secrets of winning through effective communication.

Navigating Conflict with Adult Children by VentureNest Books offers essential strategies for improving communication and rebuilding relationships with adult children. Many parents experience challenges in understanding the breakdowns in communication and resolving disputes, leading to frustration, resentment, and strained relationships.

Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.

Elbridge A. Colby was the lead architect of the 2018 National Defense Strategy, the most significant revision of US defense strategy in a generation. Here he lays out how America's defense must change to address China's growing power and ambition. Based firmly in the realist tradition but deeply engaged in current policy, this book offers a clear framework for what America's goals in confronting China must be, how its military strategy must change, and how it must prioritize these goals over its lesser interests.

Conflict is going to be part of your life - as long as you have relationships, hold down a job, or have dry cleaning to be picked up. Bracing yourself against it won't make it go away, but if you approach it consciously, you can navigate it in a way that not only honors everyone involved but makes it a source of deep insight as well. Seasoned mediator Diane Hamilton provides the skill set you need to engage conflict with wisdom and compassion, and even - sometimes - to be grateful for it.