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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (75 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive new relationships so you can build a better life.

©2015 Lindsay C. Gibson (P)2016 Tantor

What the critics say

"Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, gives practical insight into a prevalent problem.... The book is impeccably clear.... This utter lack of confusion makes the book quite soothing, despite the heavy subject." ( Foreword Magazine)

What listeners say about Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Average Customer Ratings
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    4 out of 5 stars
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Judgemental

The message is great but the tone of the reader is judgemental and perhaps has some root in the source material. Some more compassion for the emotionally immature would be helpful. After all, children of emotionally immature parents often end up emotionally immature themselves. You may be struggling with the same issues as your parents.

4 people found this helpful

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not healing

as someone who is is hoping to heal, I found this book a bit to depricating or insulting towards the parents, made me resent them more. I made it halfway before my support team suggested I delete it.

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

Describes my Mother and I to a tee

This book evokes a lot of emotions because on one hand it was so accurate in describing mine and my mother's personalities it makes you feel like we might not be all that complex as individuals. However it is so validating! and offers a lot of helpful advice. I have been reccomending this book to many of my friends.

1 person found this helpful

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highly recommend

great listen, very insightful and reassuring. having bpd it helped me to feel less alone in my experiences and empathized with.

1 person found this helpful

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where have you been??

Totally life changing. I have read and studied many forms of self help and theories of psychology, but I have always felt like things maybe sort of loosely applied to my life, but never really explained my true experience. This book nailed it, it was like they opened my brain and validated everything I have ever felt about my childhood.

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Informed, helpful, and deeply transformative

a terrific and insightful, as well as profoundly informed, approach to family dynamics. I feel changed after reading this book.

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I will recommend

clear concise message. this book enabled me to understand me. furthermore gave me the tools to move forward in my relationship with my parents.

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Life changing

This was wonderful and it was a necessity that came to me when I needed it the most.

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Many aha moments...

This book was filled with many gems that shed light on a childhood filled with emotional loneliness. Of particular note: understanding my healing fantasy and family role. I enjoyed learning about the differences between internalizers and externalizers. Additionally, this book helped me frame my own parenting and its impact on my own children, giving me much to ponder and work towards as I enter my 50s. My goal is to begin authentically engaging in the world around me...

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Mind blowing

From start to finish, it was informative, concise, and completely changed the way I view my relationships with my parents. At the very least, anyone with a boomer parent is going to find this useful.

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  • Sunflower Mind + Body
  • 2016-07-20

Astonishing information.

It seem that my whole life I was searching for the information in this book. I came upon this book by strange chance, and I'm so pleased to have found it. Thank you audible for having us in your library this book has shown me so much about myself and my family structure. I absolutely recommend it, not only to those who feel that they might have emotionally immature parents, but also for those people who feel that their own partner might be suffering from emotionally immature parents. Performance only gets 3 stars because the narrator seemed to inconsistently flip-flop between the "character voice" to a regular reading voice when it came to the case studies, or examples from clients.

30 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2016-08-08

Fantastic and applicable

As an adult child of someone with two emotionally immature parents (unbeknownst to me until I found this book), I have never felt more understood in my life. This book scientifically and research-based explained my experiences and who my parents are/why I have habits that I do. It has served to help me manage my parent relationships in a way that protects me from emotional and psychological hurt while also helping me to realize areas I need to improve in because of poor habits I have learned/used. I couldn't recommend this book more highly.

22 people found this helpful

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  • Michael
  • 2016-11-16

Excellent

Concise, honorable, nonjudgmental presentation of emotional immaturity. Easy to identify with descriptions of how that effects relationships. Sound advice and encouragement on acting more emotionally mature.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Jessica
  • 2017-03-22

highly recommended

I will be referencing this book while working on the issues it discusses- I found it extremely insightful, detailed, and easy to follow. I really disliked the narrator's style of speaking, but found the book so helpful I was able to overlook that easily. It is well worth listening to.

11 people found this helpful

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  • Shree
  • 2016-09-29

Explanation on why and practical advice on how to handle

This book was truly life changing in discovering not only why but how and what to do regarding growing up with emotionally immature parents. I plan to re-read it again to fully absorb it all. I especially liked the examples provided as most all were relatable.

The narrator was borderline unbearable and were it literally any other audiobook I would have promptly returned it. She sounded like she was teaching 1st graders, tone was off. I hope this is not her day job.

23 people found this helpful

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  • Rena
  • 2016-11-27

informative, but repetitive

I found this book extremely helpful both personally and professionally. it was, however, somewhat repetitive and the reader sounded stilted. If you can get past that, this book will be an excellent resource.

9 people found this helpful

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  • Zane
  • 2016-09-06

Wow enlightenment achieved ❤️

No counseling I've had in the past has ever pinpointed my constant struggle w inadequacy until this book. Thank you to all the experts who have taught me to awaken and give myself permission to a new beginning.. And understanding the importance of observational awareness to break the cycle for my 1 year old daughter.. She thanks you too

9 people found this helpful

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  • D. Villalpando
  • 2016-10-11

Emotional maturity is a topic worthy of study

If you could sum up Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents in three words, what would they be?

Helpful and informative

What did you like best about this story?

I like that the text was able to both discuss the effect of a lack of emotional maturity of parents on their grown children as well as discussing emotional maturity in general. I didn't feel that I was getting only a look at "this is what happened to these adults" but rather a continuum of the effects of emotional immaturity in all stages, including the ability to reflect on my own life and emotional maturity as a parent and how it may affect my children.

What does Marguerite Gavin bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

The narration was well delivered and kept me interested. I'm a slow reader, and so I expect it would have taken me much longer to get through a print version, but Ms. Gavin kept the text moving along and always kept me interested.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

Not based on the book

Any additional comments?

All in all, I was very pleased with the book as a study of emotional maturity at all levels. It was very helpful and gave me a good understanding of the subject, and made me want to learn more, not to mention find ways to mature emotionally. It also did help to a great degree regarding digging into the past and finding the roots of why we act the way we do.

20 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 2016-06-04

Life-changing

What made the experience of listening to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents the most enjoyable?

This book completely revolutionized my life. These concepts of emotionally immature people vs. emotionally mature people, and internalizers vs. externalizers, etc., explain so very much about my existence and the family dynamic I've experienced. It helped to clear up most of the confusion I had regarding my driven parents, and answered questions I didn't even know how to articulate. It truly brought so much healing into my soul, I couldn't get enough of it. I will definitely keep listening to this over and over again, especially when I need the reassurance, clarity, guidance and encouragement that I may never receive from my family. I wish I could hug the author and adopt her as a mentor. What a deep, insightful, and caring individual Dr. Gibson must be, to have written this book. What a blessing. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?


SO many A-Ha moments, I am still trying to process it all.

26 people found this helpful

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  • ChiDoc
  • 2016-10-12

Inspiring & Realistically Relevant

Dr. Gibson has done a superb job capturing the subtle nuances of men and women sadly impacted by emotionally unavailable parents. Her descriptions are spot-on and parallel my clinical experiences. She provides not only a clearly articulated understanding of the impact neglected parental patterns can have on adult-children but a hopeful and attainable message rooted in neuroscience that change is possible. Bravo! - Ken Celiano, Psy.D.

11 people found this helpful

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  • MY-LINH FRANZ
  • 2020-05-17

Mind opening self development book

This book completely changed my outlook on my past, on what I could expect from my emotionally immature parents, and what I needed to focus on to have healthy relationships.